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    Refers to his recent weight loss as 'The Angel's...

    Refers to his recent weight loss as 'The Angel's Share' caused by slow evaporation from his cask.
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    Being the big spender that he is, buys the...

    Being the big spender that he is, buys the Pittsburgh Pro tools at Harbor Freight.
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    After years of practice, now has all the makeup...

    After years of practice, now has all the makeup and costuming necessary to pass as a really good Orion slave girl, complete with green skin.
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    Middle middle. Dad was an engineer at Boeing,...

    Middle middle. Dad was an engineer at Boeing, back in the day when you could have a solid middle-class existence with just the male parent working. Now, it takes both of us.
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    If ever arrested for a crime, is planning on...

    If ever arrested for a crime, is planning on using the 'alien possession' defense, noting how well it always worked on Star Trek.
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    He is remarkably perky for his age.

    He is remarkably perky for his age.
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    Poll: Crunchy all the way.

    Crunchy all the way.
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    Came up with the idea for Sheldon Cooper's...

    Came up with the idea for Sheldon Cooper's Council of Ladies.
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    Is concerned that his dementia is picking up...

    Is concerned that his dementia is picking up speed, like a downhill stage in the Tour de France.
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    Thinks that 'Jerky Zygote' would be an excellent...

    Thinks that 'Jerky Zygote' would be an excellent name for a band.
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    Lives in terror that the ramen will become...

    Lives in terror that the ramen will become self-aware and send its noodly tentacles after him.
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    Has given up fondling for Ramadan.

    Has given up fondling for Ramadan.
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    Thinks of himself as a special snowflake.

    Thinks of himself as a special snowflake.
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    Calls his girlfriend 'Baaabara'.

    Calls his girlfriend 'Baaabara'.
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    His bosom, though still snowy, has lost its...

    His bosom, though still snowy, has lost its former perky nature.
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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQfjIw3mivc

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQfjIw3mivc
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    Has a tramp stamp of his name tattooed right...

    Has a tramp stamp of his name tattooed right above his gluteal cleft, so that people will know what to call him.
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    Has been feeling morose and playing a lot of...

    Has been feeling morose and playing a lot of Supertramp lately.
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    According to his Oxford dictionary, it is more...

    According to his Oxford dictionary, it is more properly spelled 'titty'.
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    http://cnet3.cbsistatic.com/hub/i/2008/01/17/5530f...

    http://cnet3.cbsistatic.com/hub/i/2008/01/17/5530fda2-f8fd-11e2-8c7c-d4ae52e62bcc/fa6cf79f20f67bd387bcef51d24ce4f7/ShootingKitty1.jpg

    Has moved on from Hello Kitty bicycles to where the real money...
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    Is spending long hours in the lab working on a...

    Is spending long hours in the lab working on a non-caustic stripper. But so far, all of the samples persist with the cutting remarks.
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    never capitalizes black when referring to the...

    never capitalizes black when referring to the ethnicity as his way of sticking it to the man
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    You do not want to know where he has stuck his...

    You do not want to know where he has stuck his cigar.
  24. Thread: Chromebooks

    by MillCreek
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    Yes, with Google Docs.

    Yes, with Google Docs.
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    Is the proud owner of a set of kneepads...

    Is the proud owner of a set of kneepads autographed 'M. Lewinsky'.
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