OOOOH! Can you introduce me to one?Originally Posted by Greg_R
OOOOH! Can you introduce me to one?
Orchestra was on tour. Conducter fell ill right before 1st concert, and could not do his job. After a lot of discussion it was decided that one of the viola players would have to conduct the sold out performance. She was the only one having done any kind of studies on the subject. She frantically resisted, but to no avail.
She conducted the gig and received a standing ovation. They played 3 encores, the audience was screaming. Rave reviews followed in the next morning's newspapers. Everyone was crazy about the new wunderkind of conducting. Which was good, because the regular conducter was still on sick leave and it would take some time for him to recover. All in all, it was agreed that the viola player would continue conducting until further notice.
The tour was an absolute success. In the last concert of the tour the regular conducter finally felt well enough to take the stand, so viola player took her seat in the viola section. As the orchestra was tuning their instruments for the night's concert, a colleague sitting next to her leaned over to her and groaned with fierce contempt, "And where the .... have YOU been for the last two weeks?!"
--J
To err is human. To moo is bovine.
Who is this General Failure anyway, and why is he reading my drive?
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M, F or don't care?OOOOH! Can you introduce me to one?
Oh, female.
Do NOT get me started on this. I value my BF membership.
i once knew a girl tuba player.
i bet she had 100 tuba jokes and i can't remember even one.
first star on the right and straight on 'til morning
avatar is of dame edna
here's one...
What's the range of a tuba?
10 yards if you've got a good arm.
or
What's a tuba for?
1 1/2" by 3 1/2" unless you request "full cut."
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"Without music, life would be a mistake."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
The best two years of a drummer's life?
Fifth grade.
“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”
― Muhammad Ali
The difference between a soprano and a Porsche?
Most musicians have never been in a Porsche.
“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”
― Muhammad Ali
Another telling of the french horn joke:
The violinist says to her stand partner "I hear you're dating that handsome french horn player, how's it going?"
Her stand partner replies "Well with his embouchure he kisses terribly, but I love how he holds me."
“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”
― Muhammad Ali
What do you call a bass player's wife who knows where her husband is at night?
A widow...
What's the difference between a chainsaw and a saxophone?
The grip
You and Kenny G get on an elevator after a gig. Already on the elevator are Stalin, Hitler, and Mussolini. You have a handgun, but it only has two rounds loaded. Who do you shoot?
Kenny G - TWICE!
Q: what does a drummer use for birth control?
A: his personality.
A kid goes up to his dad and says, "Dad, I want to grow up and become a steel player!'
The dad says, "One or the other, son."
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