FOR THOSE WHO ENJOY LANGUAGE (OR SEVERE
DISTORTIONS THEREOF)

> -- Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in
> Seine.
>
> -- A backward poet writes inverse.
>
> -- A man's home is his castle, in a manor of
> speaking.
>
> -- Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
>
> -- Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
>
> -- A man needs a mistress just to break the
> monogamy.
>
> -- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
>
> -- Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
>
> -- Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
>
> -- When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
>
> -- A bicycle can't stand on its own because it
> is two tired.
>
> -- What's the definition of a will? (It's a
> dead giveaway.)
>
> -- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like
> a banana.
>
> -- In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism
> your count votes.
>
> -- She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden
> leg but broke it off.
>
> -- A chicken crossing the road is poultry in
> motion.
>
> -- If you don't pay your exorcist, you get
> repossessed.
>
> -- With her marriage, she got a new name and
> a dress.
>
> -- When a clock is hungry, it goes back four
> seconds.
>
> -- The man who fell into an upholstery machine
> is fully recovered.
>
> -- You feel stuck with your debt if you can't
> budge it.
>
> -- Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN
> down under.
>
> -- He often broke into song because he couldn't
> find the key.
>
> -- Every calendar's days are numbered.
>
> -- A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours
> and it taint mine.
> -- A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
>
> -- He had a photographic memory that was never
> developed.
>
> -- A plateau is a high form of flattery.
>
> -- A midget fortune-teller who escapes from
> prison is a small medium at large.
>
> -- Those who get too big for their britches
> will be exposed in the end.
>
> -- Once you've seen one shopping center, you've
> seen a mall.
>
> -- Bakers trade bread recipes on a
> knead-to-know basis.
>
> -- Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
>
> -- Acupuncture is a jab well done.