Evidence that the gene pool may need a little chlorine...

[Chris L]

Sign in a gas station: Coke --49 cents. Two for a dollar

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit
card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction
unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it
was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the
signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the
credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature
to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I
described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic. My boss
said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?" Thinking that he was
just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of
Elbonia. He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"

An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety
Handbook for Employees:""Blink your eyelids periodically to
lubricate your eyes."

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the
Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit
by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a
woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: I've got
smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a
fire downtown?"

I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that
the next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became
visibly excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the
amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time.
Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked
the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he
was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

[ljbike]

Thank you, Chris! Some real gems here.

[Joe Gardner]

I would like to donate 100 gallons of chlorine please...