Here are some things you can check without opening the hood:
1. Hub caps: Are they on tightly? Have kids put rocks in them? Is there
a stone or other foreign object caught in the treads of your tires?
2. Fauna: Is there a woodland creature living under your hood? Try
coaxing it out with a piece of head cheese or braunschweiger. WHATEVER
YOU DO, DO NOT RAISE THE HOOD! SOMETHING COULD HAPPEN!!!!! You never
know...
4. Mental health: Is is possible that there is a loose nut behind the
wheel? Does ANYONE ELSE hear the ticking? In many cases, having
yourself professionally evaluated (and proper medication) can help. When
used properly, prescribed medication can make you forget all about the
ticking.
3. Is your radio functioning properly? Most car problems are caused by
insufficient radio volume. A certain Mrs. W. had an injector misfiring
on her Jetta. Solution? Put in a CD and turn up the volume. DO THIS
CAREFULLY! If the ticking is still heard nine out of ten auto mechanics
advise the installation of a better radio. Remember- when in doubt about
the correct radio volume, consult a professional. Or clip and save this
handy chart: (scaled 1-10, 10 is loudest)
Volume Car Problem
2 Cans rolling around on car's floor
3 Children fighting in back seat
5 Adults fighting in front seat
7 Flat Tire
8 Annoying injector pump ticking, dieseling, valve clatter
etc.
10 Blown head gasket (NOTE: You may have to sing along to
completely drown out this noise!)
5. Hamsters: has their wheel been oiled recently? Did you use the proper
grease to repack the hamster wheel bearings? NOTE: you may have to raise
the hood to check this.
6. Real Answer: Does your injector pump receive it's oil separately (as
mine does- I'm not sure when they changed the design to use the engine's
oil) ? Is there a red or black cap on the unit marked Oel or Oil? If so,
it may need Oil. Or Oel.
. Well, the advice in section 4 may help a little.
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