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Thread: Christmas cheer

  1. #1
    Time for a change. stapfam's Avatar
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    Christmas cheer

    While trying to get the "Search" function working- I came across this Old thread of mine- Well it is Christmas and some of the new members may not have seen it so revived it

    Heard a story today that seemed so apt for me right now,

    Yesterday I went to France and looking round a couple of bike shops, saw a Heart monitor mount that looked as thought it would mount my monitor very firmly on the bars. Not cheap, but one of those things that has been bugging me is that the monitor keeps moving around. Tried to fit it this morning, and 2 flat tyres. Ok Get them repaired before anything else, only to find a split in one of the tyres. better check both casings, and the other was OK but I now have a big hole in my hand due to "Just run my hand round to see if it's a thorn" It was, and I had to dig the damn thing out of my hand as it broke as It went in. Ok get the wheels mounted, but the Bearings sound a bit notchy, better check them. Yes they need changing but not a problem as I also keep spare balls for the shimano hubs. A little bit of grease to hold them in place. Hold on where the Grease!!! My mate borrowed it last week and hasn't returned it yet. Quick phone call and he wasn't in, so used the stuff that I normally use for the car. Not really right, but I can regrease tommorrow after the ride. Put plenty in as its not up to my standard, but it will be ok. Put the wheels back on and went for a coffee. Wife told me to go back into the garage and get clean. The plenty of grease was also over my trousers, and there was no way I was going to allowed in the house untill I change them. She did bring me out a coffee though, while I got changed, so started to fit the Heart Monitor Mount. B%^^*r, It won,t Fit. I have downhill Riser bars on my solo,which are a larger diameter, so the mount is the wrong size

    Hence my reason for sending this on so you can read it.


    When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
    Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
    When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.
    More stress.
    Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
    So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a tot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the booze, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
    He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
    Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door.
    He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
    The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would
    you like me to stick it?"

    And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree
    Last edited by stapfam; 12-02-09 at 11:34 AM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Red Baron's Avatar
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    Sounds like he missed cycling as a child, and never got in the habit.
    **Fate is a fickle thing, and in the end the true measure of a person is not fate itself, but how they master it**

  3. #3
    cut my gas use in half Jessica's Avatar
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    And I am sure there are other choices I haven't thought of, yet...

  4. #4
    'Bent Brian
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    Good one! It made my morning!

    'bent Brian

  5. #5
    just keep riding BluesDawg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stapfam View Post
    Heard a story today that seemed so apt for me right now,

    When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
    Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
    When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.
    More stress.
    Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
    So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a tot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the booze, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
    He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
    Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door.
    He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
    The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

    And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree
    This story made its way to me last week and I almost posted it here. Glad I didn't since stapfam beat me to the punch...by 3 years.

    You knew this would happen, didn't you DnvrFox?
    The more you ride your bike, the less your ass will hurt.

  6. #6
    Time for a change. stapfam's Avatar
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    Now this may be a set up but is also very seasonal. Even I had forgotten this posting so thanks BD for giving me another story to tell the kids again.
    How long was I in the army? Five foot seven.


    Spike Milligan

  7. #7
    I need more cowbell. Digital Gee's Avatar
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  8. #8
    Living at a geezerly pace
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    Every time I put the angel atop the tree I'm stupid enough to make
    a related comment much to the scorn of my bride and daughters.

    Can't stop now, it's a tradition.
    The above is only my opinion and it is not necessarily shared by my lovely stoker.

    It isn't about the cards you're dealt, it's about how you choose to play them!

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  9. #9
    Time for a change. stapfam's Avatar
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    Funny how the old ones are still here- postings and members.
    How long was I in the army? Five foot seven.


    Spike Milligan

  10. #10
    rebmeM roineS JanMM's Avatar
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    Editing a 5-year-old post requires jumping into the Time Machine, doesn't it?
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  11. #11
    Senior Member ?? Beverly's Avatar
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    Loved it
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  12. #12
    Recreational/Utility bjjoondo's Avatar
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    Excellent!!!
    Take care, RIDE SAFE, have FUN!
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  13. #13
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    After the goings on of the last couple of days, I needed a chuckle. Thank you sir! That was a good one!

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