Fred School

[BluesDawg]

Graduate course suggestion:Irrelavent forum phrase 601 - How to interject the phrase "Since I don't race..." or a variation thereof into any discussion.

[Digital Gee]

Graduate course suggestion:Irrelavent forum phrase 601 - How to interject the phrase "Since I don't race..." or a variation thereof into any discussion.

Well, since I don't race, I think that's a great suggestion.

[tony2v]

Holy Trinity Fred University: HTFU now accepting applications...........

[Retro Grouch]

Holy Trinity Fred University: HTFU now accepting applications...........

[oilman_15106]

This post is the perfect place to list 2 courses that were in the spring flyer from our local community college.
This is not made up.

1. Exercise for the out of shape! You gotta start somewhere.
2. How to ride an Electric bicycle. Course requirement, you must be able to ride a non-electric bicycle.

I am just glad my tax dollars are going to productive uses.

[Bionicycle]

We can't forget Rack, Baskets, and Milk Crate installation 101...

[John_V]

Another course for the Bike Mechanic Degree: Attaching Velcro Mounted Mirrors To Handlebars. A course designed to teach the student mechanic the proper method of attaching Velcro mounted mirrors so they don't swivel on the grips as you ride.

[dirtclod]

Just sighned up, went right to 50+, then Fred thread to find out I'm guilty of fredism. Drilled out rim for schrader, wallmart shirt, flats.

OK! The art of pulling over to adjust something on your bike so fast riders can pass.

[Stomper]

More recently, particularly in the US, a Fred is more often somebody with higher quality and more expensive cycling equipment than his or her talent and commitment would warrant. For example, a stereotypical Fred by this definition would be an individual with little cycling experience who watches the highlights of a few Tour de France stages, then goes to a bike store and purchases a Trek carbon fiber Madone in Team Discovery colors, along with Team Discovery shorts and jersey. Thus outfitted with equipment virtually identical to that which Lance Armstrong used, far more expensive than that used by many high-standard racing cyclists, and more costly than many automobiles, the "Fred" then uses his bicycle merely to ride on a cycling path at 15 mph (24 km/h), something which even the most casual untrained cyclist can manage on an inexpensive hybrid bicycle. Some use "Fred" in a somewhat similar matter, but more synonymous with a roadie poseur. However, a Fred isn't necessarily someone who intentionally tries to put forth an image of being better or more knowledgeable than they are. Rather, a Fred is an inexperienced or unskilled cyclist who gets some top high-end or copy-cat racing gear for any reason. Unlike most poseurs, a Fred may still ride lacking some fundamental piece of competitive roadie equipment or style.

Wait! I know this Fred - A new $4000 carbon bicycle, designer cycling togs, uses a butler to help him clip into the pedals, and only rides along a centurion path at about 15 mph. The family says he's a fanatic; I say he's a Frednatic. Maybe he'll hook up with Dora and have a few baby Freds.

[Gravity Aided]

Trailers 200 - for the sophomore level Fred . finding, repainting , refitting and repurposing old kiddie carriers and jogging strollers for the "Edge of Fredness" bicycle tour. Must complete 7 miles with full fred load , which must be added to with roadside finds during tour .

[Retro Grouch]

This thread reminds me of how much I miss the Deege.

[mprelaw]

More recently, particularly in the US, a Fred is more often somebody with higher quality and more expensive cycling equipment than his or her talent and commitment would warrant. For example, a stereotypical Fred by this definition would be an individual with little cycling experience who watches the highlights of a few Tour de France stages, then goes to a bike store and purchases a Trek carbon fiber Madone in Team Discovery colors, along with Team Discovery shorts and jersey. Thus outfitted with equipment virtually identical to that which Lance Armstrong used, far more expensive than that used by many high-standard racing cyclists, and more costly than many automobiles, the "Fred" then uses his bicycle merely to ride on a cycling path at 15 mph (24 km/h), something which even the most casual untrained cyclist can manage on an inexpensive hybrid bicycle. Some use "Fred" in a somewhat similar matter, but more synonymous with a roadie poseur. However, a Fred isn't necessarily someone who intentionally tries to put forth an image of being better or more knowledgeable than they are. Rather, a Fred is an inexperienced or unskilled cyclist who gets some top high-end or copy-cat racing gear for any reason. Unlike most poseurs, a Fred may still ride lacking some fundamental piece of competitive roadie equipment or style.

Wait! I know this Fred - A new $4000 carbon bicycle, designer cycling togs, uses a butler to help him clip into the pedals, and only rides along a centurion path at about 15 mph. The family says he's a fanatic; I say he's a Frednatic. Maybe he'll hook up with Dora and have a few baby Freds.

Sorry---you yourself are guilty of confusing "Fred" with "poseur". The Lance wannabe riding the MUP in full Team Discovery/USPS kit with matching bike is a classic poseur.

The Fred would be the guy with panniers on the same bike, riding in cut-offs and a Grateful Dead t-shirt.

[berner]

We can't forget Rack, Baskets, and Milk Crate installation 101...

I'm waiting for a good quality, extra light weight, super strong, carbon fiber milk crate for my bike.

[Gravity Aided]

I'm waiting for a good quality, extra light weight, super strong, carbon fiber milk crate for my bike.

You could drill out a plastic one . No waiting .

[Looigi]

Having been Fred for a long time now, where do I enroll in grad school?

Experience counts, but before applying to grad school you must first pass a test and qualify for your FRED (Fred Equivalency Diploma)

[etw]

For those wanting to do advanced study, here is a required text:

http://www.rivbike.com/product-p/bo17.htm

[cccorlew]

Saddles: Huge, or giant? Extra padded or lazyBoy cushioned?

[Retro Grouch]

For those wanting to do advanced study, here is a required text:

http://www.rivbike.com/product-p/bo17.htm

[Sixty Fiver]

Holy Trinity Fred University: HTFU now accepting applications...........

There is already a H.T.F.U. which offers survival training for cyclists who cannot handle the rigours of riding out of doors in less than perfect weather. Advanced certification is offered to those who can demonstrate an ability to ride in sub freezing temperatures without whining.

[Retro Grouch]

There is already a H.T.F.U. which offers survival training for cyclists who cannot handle the rigours of riding out of doors in less than perfect weather. Advanced certification is offered to those who can demonstrate an ability to ride in sub freezing temperatures without whining.

W.E.I.R.D.O.S.
Weather Extream Isn't Restricting Doing Outdoor Stuff.

[David Bierbaum]

Let us proudly raise our Fredly Flag, and recite our Motto of Fredness! "Feeling Cycley is better than Looking Cycley!"
Fredflag.jpg

[oldbobcat]

My proposals for mini-courses:

Accessories you can attach to your handlebar, stem and seat post. Work that old bar tape--patching with electrical and duct tape. Don't replace that worn chain, the mechanic will just make you buy a new cassette, too! Put a riser stem on that aero frame! Save money--installing riser stems without longer cables! How much gunk will your cassette hold before the chain skates over the cogs? Grinding cleats down so the dealer has to drill out the bolts to install new ones. Creative ways to attach an under-the-saddle bag. Creative ways to attach crap to the outside of an under-the-saddle bag. Leave the pump and tire lever in the garage--you don't know how to fix a flat anyway! Beer jerseys that are sexy and sleeveless. TT clip-ons--do you want a pillow with that? It's OK if I ride in the middle of the road--I've got a mirror!

[Gravity Aided]

My proposals for mini-courses:

Accessories you can attach to your handlebar, stem and seat post. Work that old bar tape--patching with electrical and duct tape. Don't replace that worn chain, the mechanic will just make you buy a new cassette, too! Put a riser stem on that aero frame! Save money--installing riser stems without longer cables! How much gunk will your cassette hold before the chain skates over the cogs? Grinding cleats down so the dealer has to drill out the bolts to install new ones. Creative ways to attach an under-the-saddle bag. Creative ways to attach crap to the outside of an under-the-saddle bag. Leave the pump and tire lever in the garage--you don't know how to fix a flat anyway! Beer jerseys that are sexy and sleeveless. TT clip-ons--do you want a pillow with that? It's OK if I ride in the middle of the road--I've got a mirror!

Said like a director of promotions for the curriculum department .

[oldbobcat]

Said like a director of promotions for the curriculum department .

Thank you. I have a Masters in education.

[loneviking61]

My proposals for mini-courses:

Accessories you can attach to your handlebar, stem and seat post. Work that old bar tape--patching with electrical and duct tape. Don't replace that worn chain, the mechanic will just make you buy a new cassette, too! Put a riser stem on that aero frame! Save money--installing riser stems without longer cables! How much gunk will your cassette hold before the chain skates over the cogs? Grinding cleats down so the dealer has to drill out the bolts to install new ones. Creative ways to attach an under-the-saddle bag. Creative ways to attach crap to the outside of an under-the-saddle bag. Leave the pump and tire lever in the garage--you don't know how to fix a flat anyway! Beer jerseys that are sexy and sleeveless. TT clip-ons--do you want a pillow with that? It's OK if I ride in the middle of the road--I've got a mirror!

Where do I sign up?!