Patriot

Obsessive Compulsive Poseur:

He/She who spends extraordinary amounts of money on unbelievably flashy clothing and componentry that all matches beautifully, in an artistic fashion. Then, finds themselves the nearest convience store and hangs out for an unspecified amount of time while people stare at you, as you are busy looking cool.

The disorder has been discovered, and defined by said founder of the OCP club, Patriot.

Proper acronym has been coined by 55/Rad.

Rules for the newly founded OCP club. As officially wriiten by khuon.

The Rules of Obsessive Compulsive Poseur Club
by Jake Khuon
and his other self


The First Rule of Obsessive Compulsive Poseur Club is: You do not talk about Obsessive Compulsive Poseur Club.

The Second Rule of Obsessive Compulsive Poseur Club is: You DO NOT talk about Obsessive Compulsive Poseur Club.

Third Rule: If someone says "ride" or goes to pedal, the posing IS over.

Fourth Rule: Only two poseurs to a picture.

Fifth Rule: One picture at a time.

Sixth Rule: No steel, no aluminum.

Seventh Rule: Posings will go on AS LONG AS they have to.

And the Eighth and Final Rule: If this is your first time at Obsessive Compulsive Poseur Club, you HAVE to pose.

As hereby certified this 11th day of May, 2005.

Amendments are to follow, but only if they meet a specific high level of compulsiveness.

To join the OCP club, please introduce yourself appropriately. Thank you.

Now, let the posing begin.

53-11_alltheway

LOL, this reminds of that thread I did a long time ago (hush...we all know what I'm talking about)

Haha, I kept on adding rules to that also.

sunninho

My contribution from the Dang Wedge!!! Gotta vent. thread:

ROTFLMAO, hopefully I've got enough carbon on my Al frame to qualify under Rule 6, Amendment 1 or 2 (pending passage of Patriots original amendment): [In the unfortunate case of an Aluminum frame, Carbon Fiber (officially verified and weighed) shall be prominently displayed on all outward appendages, including but not limited to handlebars, pedals, wheels, seat, helmet, shoes, gloves].

my58vw

Admendements

1. Qualifying bikes and component groups
1a. Any rider as a member of the OCP group shall be considered in good standing if he/she owns a bike built with the following component groups only, Shimano Dura Ace, Campy Record or Campy Chorus. Those groupos shall consist of at minimum Crankset, deraileurs, brakes and shifters and the combined cost of the group must excede 1000 dollars.
1b. Any members bike shall cost retail in excess of 2500 dollars.
1c. Any member in good standing shall place no more than five hundred (500) miles on their bike in a calander year. This amount may be modified for special occastions by the club chain (patriot) or other specified board member.
1d. Any club member must wear a specific peice of clothing with a sponsor logo visible from 20 feet on the garment. This attire must not be of a group that an individual belongs too including race teams or clubs.
1e. Any violation of this admendment as adopted will disqualify person from continued activity in the organization.

2. Other components
2a. On any frame that is made of a violation material (aluminum or steel) the following components must be made or titanium, magnestium or carbon fiber, Handlebars, stem, fork, seatpost, saddle, shoe soles, helmet and waterbottle cages.
2b. Any individual with a legal frame shall not contain more than one component made of steel or Al, icluding those outlined in section 2b.
3b. Any individual in good standing shall know the weights of each component on their bike to the tenth of a gram and the actual weight at any time. A member shall provide a detailed analysis to the secretary at the beginning of each month and whenever a change is made.

Patriot

Hello,

My name is Patriot, and I am an Obsessive Compulsive Poseur.

I have been posing now for almost 5 months. I am having trouble keeping control of myself. My posing is getting extreme. I keep spending copious amounts of money on clothing, gear and accessories, to which I only use on rare ocassion. Some I hardly use at all.
I have a brand new carbon fiber bicycle called TRINITY, which is custom painted, and is outfitted with a group of unbelievably expensive components to which I am not worthy. However, my OCP disorder prevents me from owning a POS from the Salvation Army, or even a bargain priced alloy framed two wheel piece of "Scattante" from Supergo.

Someone "PLEASE HELP ME!!!"

TheKillerPenguin

Pimpin aint easy.

53-11_alltheway

This is a pretty funny thread.

How about the Obsessive Compulsive Posters Club (that's me). I don't have a $3000 bike, but I post in these forums too much. Haha

Patriot

Sorry 53-11, but you're not allowed to join.

Maybe we could let you be the mascot.

What do you think Gentlemen? Sympathy vote?

cryogenic

of course 53, we all know you ride a Schwinn Varsity picked up from your local Salvation Army.

53-11_alltheway

Almost It has a 180mm crankset on it though.

Patriot

Waiting for khuon to come out of the closet.

I know it's hard khuon, but you can do it my friend. We're all here for you.

Admitting you have a problem is the first step to healing. Denial can only make it worse.

my58vw

If there was an impulsive poster club I would be the president... how many posts this year? -- 2200+

khuon

Perhaps a provisional membership for 53-11_alltheway that is contingent upon him obtaining poseur-compliant equipment within a certain period of time?

TheKillerPenguin

Maybe you guys could make it so that you spend a certain amount of your yearly income on biking.

Last year, over 50% went towards my bike.

That's like a lot of you guys spending $100K

53-11_alltheway

That's coming soon actually. But, It may have a weyless stem with Tektro brakes....only to make way for bling elsewhere on the bike

Patriot

Only if the other OCP's say so. I may be the founder and sort of the defacto President, but not a dictator.

As President, I hereby resign, and pass the OCP torch to khuon once he admits his disorder.

Chucklehead

so can i be a member for having a seat post, bars/tape, stem and tires that match the color scheme on my frame?

oh yeah -- and my name in chrome on both sides of the top tube.

Patriot

I assume that is a carbon frame? "Kestrel", of course it is. The rules are very strict you know. Oh, and that crank, you are not showing the crankset for proper posing. Turn the bike around! You must understand that denial of your disorder can be very harmful. The chrome name on the top tube is a fantastic start, and definite progress towards the healing.

Chucklehead

dang..

(edit) sweet!

khuon

Hi. My name is khuon and I am an Obsessive Compulsive Poseur. I have been posing for well over three years now with road bikes and well over five years with mountain bikes. My entry material was thermoplastic carbon fibre and Shimano XTR. I often told myself I could stop but I couldn't. I then graduated to a carbon fibre Dura-Ace equipped road bike, Sidi shoes which I went to Italy to buy and matching matching helmet and clothing. I often walk into a bike shop and immediately gravitate towards the newest most expensive bling component upgrade or latest team jersey. I spend hours cleaning my bike so that I can put pictures of it up on websites and impress people at the local Starbucks. Sometimes I don't even ride there. I just load it up onto my SUV and drive it there so that I can unload it and ride across the parking lot to the front of the coffee shop.

martin_j001

Please let me know if I qualify to be a member, even though its a steel frame. The bike has a mixture of Dura Ace and Record components, and I have FSA K-Wing carbon bars on the way (should be here Friday), Specialized Carbon Pro Shoes, Look Keo pedals, and a Giro Atmos helmet...Do the pretty colors help me at all??

Patriot

martin j001,

Hate to say this, but other than a Vanilla bike or some other high-end steel frame with an absolutely disgusting price tag, you really don't qualify. You have some pros and cons...

Pros-
-Record shifters
-stem
-carbon cages
-carbon forks
- Are those Keo pedals? (possible benny)

Cons-
-STEEL frame (though it is a Gunnar)
-Older crank (must be DA or carbon)
-Alloy seatpost? If so, you are definitely disqualified.

You have but one chance to redeem yourself. You regularly pose in an insanely priced, highly overated full kit. The carbon shoes are a great start, but the rest needs work. Yes, color matching always helps.

martin_j001

The crank is DA, pedals are Keo's, and a Thomson seatpost should get me a few points!! What about if I weigh 230lbs, and ride really slow even though I have a faster looking bike than most of my riding buddies? Thats gotta help me out too!! I would wear some nice pro team kit, but most of it doesn't even fit me!!!!!!

Patriot

Yes, but it is not the new DA. We may have to leave it up to a vote. Remember, if your total investment was less than $3000, then that is another red mark. Bargain shopping for used high-end components is frowned upon in the OCP club.

Ok, riding slow and hanging out at the local convenience store is always good practice.

martin_j001

Not sure on the total amount I've spent on it, but there's over $1k in pedals, shoes, Record levers, and the new carbon bar in the last three weeks. Oh, when I first had it built I had a silver Thomson seatpost in there (the shop didn't have a black one). Two weeks later I bought the same post in black... All this has to help.... VOTE ME IN!!!!!