Go Back  Bike Forums > Bike Forums > Advocacy & Safety
Reload this Page >

Accepted an apology - should I have?

Search
Notices
Advocacy & Safety Cyclists should expect and demand safe accommodation on every public road, just as do all other users. Discuss your bicycle advocacy and safety concerns here.
View Poll Results: Should Chris L have accepted the apology?
Yes, Chris L should have accepted the apology
48
87.27%
No, Chris L should have called the cops and let them deal with it
2
3.64%
Chris L should have firebombed the car and taught the guy a lesson
2
3.64%
Chris L should quit cycling immediately and never ride again!
3
5.45%
Voters: 55. You may not vote on this poll

Accepted an apology - should I have?

Thread Tools
 
Search this Thread
 
Old 01-06-03, 03:22 AM
  #1  
Every lane is a bike lane
Thread Starter
 
Chris L's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia - passionfruit capital of the universe!
Posts: 9,663
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 27 Post(s)
Liked 13 Times in 9 Posts
Accepted an apology - should I have?

OK, it's like this. Today I had to pull off a brilliant save to avoid a scary left-hook (the equivalent of a right-hook for those in the US). The guy clearly wasn't watching what he was doing - that much was obvious. The thing is, the guy actually apologised for his actions. That really threw me off and instead of just calling the cops like I would have usually done, I accepted it and went on my way.

I'm still wondering whether I should have just called the cops and let them deal with it.
__________________
I am clinically insane. I am proud of it.

That is all.
Chris L is offline  
Old 01-06-03, 06:10 AM
  #2  
Marathon Cyclist
 
MediaCreations's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Perth - Western Australia
Posts: 1,779

Bikes: Road Bike / Mountain Bike

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Unfortunately we can all lose concentration at times and do stupid things.

It seems that this guy realised how stupid he'd been which puts him several levels above those brain dead morons who cut us off and then try to blame us for being on the road in the first place.

Let's hope the apology means that he has realised how close he came to causing a horrible accident and will pay more attention in the future.
__________________
MediaCreations is offline  
Old 01-06-03, 07:31 AM
  #3  
Member
 
Paco's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 25
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally posted by MediaCreations
Unfortunately we can all lose concentration at times and do stupid things.

It seems that this guy realised how stupid he'd been which puts him several levels above those brain dead morons who cut us off and then try to blame us for being on the road in the first place.

Let's hope the apology means that he has realised how close he came to causing a horrible accident and will pay more attention in the future.
I agree. I would have accepted the apology and moved on.
Paco is offline  
Old 01-06-03, 08:08 AM
  #4  
Senior Member
 
Greg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Southern California
Posts: 771
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Let it go, Chris.

Think, What Would ChrisL Do?

Wait............
Greg is offline  
Old 01-06-03, 11:06 AM
  #5  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Punta Gorda Florida
Posts: 207
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I'm not perfect and have made mistakes. This guy may have learned something since he did notice he was wrong.
Paige is offline  
Old 01-06-03, 11:17 AM
  #6  
Plays well with others.
 
greg360's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: soggy, foggy, Puget Sound
Posts: 164
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally posted by Chris L
OK, it's like this. Today I had to pull off a brilliant save to avoid a scary left-hook ...
Were you boxing or biking, Chris?

Accepting the apology was definitely the gentleman's thing to do. It builds goodwill.
greg360 is offline  
Old 01-06-03, 11:19 AM
  #7  
bac
Senior Member
 
bac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 7,481

Bikes: Too many to list!

Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 3 Times in 3 Posts
No question, Chris - you're a better man for it!!
bac is offline  
Old 01-06-03, 11:34 AM
  #8  
suitcase of courage
 
VegasCyclist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: SoCal (ex Las Vegas, NV)
Posts: 1,010
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
"speaking words of wisdom... let it be."

Chris L should have accepted the apology and moved on...
nothing more to see here folks
__________________
-VegasCyclist
"Daddy made whiskey and he made it well.... cost two dollars and it burned like hell...."
Register!
VegasCyclist is offline  
Old 01-06-03, 08:12 PM
  #9  
feros ferio
 
John E's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: www.ci.encinitas.ca.us
Posts: 21,796

Bikes: 1959 Capo Modell Campagnolo; 1960 Capo Sieger (2); 1962 Carlton Franco Suisse; 1970 Peugeot UO-8; 1982 Bianchi Campione d'Italia; 1988 Schwinn Project KOM-10;

Mentioned: 44 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1392 Post(s)
Liked 1,324 Times in 836 Posts
You were handed a fabulous opportunity to enhance cyclist-motorist relations.
__________________
"Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." --Theodore Roosevelt
Capo: 1959 Modell Campagnolo, S/N 40324; 1960 Sieger (2), S/N 42624, 42597
Carlton: 1962 Franco Suisse, S/N K7911
Peugeot: 1970 UO-8, S/N 0010468
Bianchi: 1982 Campione d'Italia, S/N 1.M9914
Schwinn: 1988 Project KOM-10, S/N F804069
John E is offline  
Old 01-06-03, 09:09 PM
  #10  
Every lane is a bike lane
Thread Starter
 
Chris L's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia - passionfruit capital of the universe!
Posts: 9,663
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 27 Post(s)
Liked 13 Times in 9 Posts
Gee, 19 votes - 100% of them saying the accepting the apology was the right thing to do. OK, I'll let this one rest.
__________________
I am clinically insane. I am proud of it.

That is all.
Chris L is offline  
Old 01-07-03, 12:13 AM
  #11  
Love Me....Love My Bike!
 
aerobat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 1,231

Bikes: Bikes: Giant hybrid, Trek 4500, Cannondale R800 Some commuting 20mi/day, mostly fitness riding - 20-50 mile rides

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Good for you, Chris! It's always better to take the high road!
__________________
"...perhaps the world needs a little more Canada" - Jean Chretian, 2003.
aerobat is offline  
Old 01-07-03, 02:32 PM
  #12  
riding a Pinarello Prince
 
orguasch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Downtown Toronto,Canada
Posts: 2,409

Bikes: Pinarello, Prince and an FP5

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
all the above reply are good, nothing more can I add,
let it go.......
__________________
"Racso", the well oiled machine;)
orguasch is offline  
Old 01-08-03, 01:47 AM
  #13  
aka old dog
 
greywolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: tauranga New Zealand
Posts: 1,173
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
lighten up & enjoy the ride, we all make mistakes & it takes a good man/woman to put up their hand & say sorry, my fault. good on yer Chris.
greywolf is offline  
Old 01-08-03, 03:45 AM
  #14  
cycle-powered
 
nathank's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Munich Germany (formerly Portland OR, Texas)
Posts: 1,848

Bikes: '02 Specialized FSR, '03 RM Slayer, '99 Raleigh R700, '97 Norco hartail, '89 Stumpjumper

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
i experienced similar often - as long as i'm not hurt or injured, if the person seems sorry and more likely to pay better attention next time, that is good enough for me. i think most of these people realize they have endangered someone and for a few days at least will pay more attention to cyclists.

now the people who do something like that and then tell you to get off the road... that's when it's bad.

or about a month ago a guy ran a light almost hitting me (i had to swerve and brake to avoid him) and HE YELLED AT ME to watch where i was going (he said it was my life so i should be more cautious). i tried to talk/reason with him but it was no use as he was a "big important guy with an expensive car"
nathank is offline  
Old 01-08-03, 10:50 AM
  #15  
Don't Believe the Hype
 
RiPHRaPH's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: chicagoland area
Posts: 2,668

Bikes: 1999 Steelman SR525, 2002 Lightspeed Ultimate, 1988 Trek 830, 2008 Scott Addict

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 21 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO GO ALONG TO GET ALONG
RiPHRaPH is offline  
Old 01-08-03, 11:07 AM
  #16  
horizontally adapted
 
bentrox!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 566

Bikes: Specialized Stumpie, Bianchi Pista, Optima Baron

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
What if the roles switched? Let's say you, as the motorist (or cyclist for that matter), at an inattentive moment cut off that guy on his bike. I'm sure you'd apologize. Wouldn't you want him to know your contrition and accept the apology? Wear the other guys shoes and you can answer your own question.
__________________
I'll gently rise and I'll softly call
Good night and joy be with you all.
bentrox! is offline  
Old 01-08-03, 12:27 PM
  #17  
Very Senior Member
 
MikeR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Central Pa
Posts: 1,776

Bikes: 2000 Bianchi San Remo and a mint 1984 Trek 720

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
. . . and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others . . .
__________________
It's better to cycle through life than to drive by it.
MikeR is offline  
Old 01-08-03, 02:10 PM
  #18  
Guest
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Mentioned: Post(s)
Tagged: Thread(s)
Quoted: Post(s)
Originally posted by MikeR
. . . and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others . . .
Me too........................ couldn't have said it better.
 
Old 01-08-03, 04:05 PM
  #19  
It's in my blood
 
Pete Clark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 1,222
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally posted by Chris L
...the guy actually apologised for his actions. That really threw me off and instead of just calling the cops like I would have usually done, I accepted it and went on my way.
Once again, ChrisL hits the nail squarely on the head.

I think if a motorist had stopped and apologized for nearly killing me, I would have died of a heart attack (now that would have been ironic.) Usually, I have to catch up to them, smile warmly and ask, "Were you aware that you almost killed me back there? "

I have decided that, if I were King of the World,
nearly killing cyclists would be an offense punishable by the offender being tied down in the middle of the road during rush hour traffic, surrounded only with orange safety cones.



Seriously, that driver deserves low marks for his abysmal driving, but high marks for his unusual awareness and concern. (Personally, I would like to meet this strange species.)

I would have accepted his apology, of course. But
I might have taken the opportunity to lecture him as well. There's something about coming within inches of disaster that makes you a bit bolder about talking to strangers.

Chris, I offer you both my sympathy and congratulations (see how strange that sounds?)

Don't get Pete Clark wrong: I'm all for forgiveness. Without it, the world would be destroyed, eventually. Without forgiveness, none of us would be able to stand up straight. We all need it.

But personal consequence is not always taken away
by forgiveness. Sometimes, forgiveness is mixed with consequences for our actions. Motorists sometimes need a good whuppin' when it comes to the way they behave around cyclists (and pedestrians, and each other.)

To apologize for spilling milk is right. To apologize for nearly killing someone is a little thin. Then again, I will probably soon find myself in exactly that position...


Last edited by Pete Clark; 01-08-03 at 04:15 PM.
Pete Clark is offline  
Old 01-08-03, 09:16 PM
  #20  
Every lane is a bike lane
Thread Starter
 
Chris L's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia - passionfruit capital of the universe!
Posts: 9,663
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 27 Post(s)
Liked 13 Times in 9 Posts
Originally posted by Pete Clark
I would have accepted his apology, of course. But
I might have taken the opportunity to lecture him as well.
I didn't need to. There was a bystander/witness around to take care of that for me.

So who voted for option #4?
__________________
I am clinically insane. I am proud of it.

That is all.
Chris L is offline  
Old 01-12-03, 10:22 AM
  #21  
Where did whooooo go
 
nemo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: UTOPIA
Posts: 455

Bikes: trek 7100, 70's schwinn free spirit.{building into the second commuter}

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
BURN BABY!!!!
nemo is offline  
Old 01-22-03, 01:25 AM
  #22  
Duct tape won't fix that
 
slotibartfast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Covington, Washington
Posts: 440

Bikes: 2003 Bianchi Veloce, 2002 Gary Fisher Utopia

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
The motorist made an honest, but almost deadly, mistake. He recognized his error and tried to rectify it by offering an apology. Frankly, I think he showed a lot of class for taking responsibility for his actions. How often do you see that these days? I say good on you for accepting the apology and moving on.
slotibartfast is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.