Go Back  Bike Forums > Bike Forums > General Cycling Discussion
Reload this Page >

Dumbest Thing You've Heard A LBS Employee Say

Search
Notices
General Cycling Discussion Have a cycling related question or comment that doesn't fit in one of the other specialty forums? Drop on in and post in here! When possible, please select the forum above that most fits your post!

Dumbest Thing You've Heard A LBS Employee Say

Thread Tools
 
Search this Thread
 
Old 11-05-11, 09:23 AM
  #1  
Firm but gentle
Thread Starter
 
venturi95's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 588

Bikes: 2005 Litespeed Tuscany, Soma Pescadero, Pure Cycles disc road, Jamis hybrid

Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 159 Post(s)
Liked 104 Times in 60 Posts
Dumbest Thing You've Heard A LBS Employee Say

Let's face it, what good are dumb people if you can't laugh at them? Here's a few gems to get the ball rolling.
I am not in the least bit overweight or very old looking, but once I was enquiring as to the climbing efficiency of a certain 29er, and I was told, "Bikes don't matter, I could smoke you on my mountain bike with you on a road bike."

I asked about steel bead tires, and was told, "The hoop kind are kept downstairs."

More sad than funny, I was looking at another 29er (a $1400 bike) and was directed to a 450 dollar comfort bike.

Last edited by venturi95; 11-05-11 at 09:25 AM. Reason: error
venturi95 is offline  
Old 11-05-11, 09:50 AM
  #2  
Senior Member
 
himespau's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 13,445
Mentioned: 33 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4234 Post(s)
Liked 2,949 Times in 1,808 Posts
:

these are always a good time. especially when the lbs employees start posting about stupid customers.
__________________
Bikes: 1996 Eddy Merckx Titanium EX, 1989/90 Colnago Super(issimo?) Piu(?), 1990 Concorde Aquila(hit by car while riding), others in build queue "when I get the time"





himespau is offline  
Old 11-05-11, 10:05 AM
  #3  
Hogosha Sekai
 
RaleighSport's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: STS
Posts: 6,669

Bikes: Leader 725, Centurion Turbo, Scwhinn Peloton, Schwinn Premis, GT Tequesta, Bridgestone CB-2,72' Centurion Lemans, 72 Raleigh Competition

Mentioned: 19 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 70 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 21 Times in 15 Posts
That's pretty good.. I one time had to explain to a former UK native shop owner what 590 iso was.... and there was another I got accused of stealing my Sekai.. that was kinda funny.. but nothing funny like yours.
RaleighSport is offline  
Old 11-05-11, 10:16 AM
  #4  
Senior Member
 
CaptCarrot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Dorset, SW England, United Kingdom
Posts: 425

Bikes: Heavily modded Cannondale Hooligan 1 (2009) and an upgraded Raleigh Max Zero-G

Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
One I had - and this was a response I got from several LBS to the same question.

The question was to the efficiency of smaller wheeled cycles against their full sized brethren.

The unanimous conclusion from all LBS is that I would have to pedal more (higher RPM/cadence) to achieve the same speed.

Firstly this was not answering the question on efficiency, and secondly, while it is a correct answer if you are using the exact same gear ratio as a larger bike, 9 times out of 10 you are not and the gear ratio is closer to getting the right gear inches out of the machine.

Not one of the staff in 5 different LBS could comprehend that it is not the size of the wheel by itself that affects the cadence, but wheel size AND gear ratio.
CaptCarrot is offline  
Old 11-05-11, 12:13 PM
  #5  
Senior Member
 
Debusama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 684

Bikes: Elephant custom road bike, 08 Redline D440, Motobecane Fantom cross Uno.

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I tend to avoid the shops where the staff isn’t knowledgeable, so I hear more stupid things said by the other customers than by the staff. There is one shop where the owner is particularly brash though, and that is sometimes fun to watch.
Customer: “Excuse me, will this derailleur work with an 8-speed cassette?”
Owner: “Yeah it’ll work just fine.”
Customer: “No it won’t, the box says 9-speed.”
Owner: “Well OK then Einstein, if you know every goddamn thing, why bother asking an idiot like me about it?”
Customer: Heads for the door while he looks over his shoulder and said, “Bite me ass-hole!”
I looked at the owner in astonishment. He shrugged his shoulder and said “That guy’s always here asking question about parts only to order them on line.”
Debusama is offline  
Old 11-05-11, 12:28 PM
  #6  
Rider
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Matanuska-Susitna Borough, AK
Posts: 1,077
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 5 Times in 5 Posts
"It's not designed to be outdoors."
JusticeZero is offline  
Old 11-05-11, 12:31 PM
  #7  
Humvee of bikes =Worksman
 
Nightshade's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 5,362
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 6 Times in 6 Posts
Looking at a pile of old hopelessly rusted bikes the comment was......."They are all rebuildable".
__________________
My preferred bicycle brand is.......WORKSMAN CYCLES
I dislike clipless pedals on any city bike since I feel they are unsafe.

Originally Posted by krazygluon
Steel: nearly a thousand years of metallurgical development
Aluminum: barely a hundred, which one would you rather have under your butt at 30mph?
Nightshade is offline  
Old 11-05-11, 02:12 PM
  #8  
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,788
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Originally Posted by Debusama
I tend to avoid the shops where the staff isn’t knowledgeable, so I hear more stupid things said by the other customers than by the staff. There is one shop where the owner is particularly brash though, and that is sometimes fun to watch.
Customer: “Excuse me, will this derailleur work with an 8-speed cassette?”
Owner: “Yeah it’ll work just fine.”
Customer: “No it won’t, the box says 9-speed.”
Owner: “Well OK then Einstein, if you know every goddamn thing, why bother asking an idiot like me about it?”
Customer: Heads for the door while he looks over his shoulder and said, “Bite me ass-hole!”
I looked at the owner in astonishment. He shrugged his shoulder and said “That guy’s always here asking question about parts only to order them on line.”
LOL!

I can relate to the owner -- a couple years ago, a defensive-lineman-sized customer grabbed a 12-in toddler bike off the display hook, set the front wheel between his knees, and wrenched the handlebar sideways. He looked at me and said, "Y'all need to build these right." There's no way he could have understood the two truths:

1. NO CHILD OF 3 WILL PUT THAT MUCH PRESSURE ON A HANDLEBAR.

2. Parts are not tightened to the point of bending metal, so in case of a crash, they will give a little and cause less damage and/or injury.

I was so flabbergasted at this fool, I had no comment.

(BTW, I spend so little time in LBS's that stupid comments just haven't happened.)
DX-MAN is offline  
Old 11-05-11, 02:36 PM
  #9  
Senior Member
 
Thulsadoom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Cape Vincent, NY
Posts: 1,392

Bikes: Specialized Tarmac Expert, 2002 TREK 520, Schwinn Mesa WINTER BIKE, Huffy Rock Creek 29er, 1970s-era Ross ten speed. All my bikes are highly modified(except the Tarmac) yet functional, and generally look beat to ****. .

Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 68 Post(s)
Liked 88 Times in 51 Posts
I remember shopping for a saddle once, and explaining to an LBS employee that I was having problems with my current saddle. Namely: pain in the perineum region.

A kid of about 20 or so, pants around his knees, cap turned sideways, who was working on a bike in the back overheard and put in his two cents: "Dude, sometimes you have to tough out a little pain..."
Thulsadoom is offline  
Old 11-05-11, 04:35 PM
  #10  
Artificial Member
 
ahsposo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Cyberspace
Posts: 7,158

Bikes: Retrospec Judd, Dahon Boardwalk, Specialized Langster

Mentioned: 31 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6766 Post(s)
Liked 5,478 Times in 3,223 Posts
"There's no demand for that."

And no offer to see if it could be had to satisfy my demand. This is why the internet is hurting retail.

Years ago (a long long time ago) I was behind a sales counter and a guy came in and said "I want a (insert top of the line product here) have you got it?" I said sure and then proceeded to find out what this guy wanted to do with this product. I told him he could do the same thing and probably better with a much less expensive product.

He looked at me for about a half a minute and said, "Look, kid I work 80 hours a week and I make good money. I want to buy myself a really expensive toy, if you don't mind."

My response was "Thank You, sir! Let's put together a great outfit!"

I learned one of the most important lesson in sales from that guy. Some people really want to dispose of their income and get a nice piece of bling for it. Never ever stand in the way of a customer who wants to give your business money.
ahsposo is offline  
Old 11-05-11, 07:59 PM
  #11  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 128
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
This goes for any brick and mortar business, not just bike shops:

"We can order that for you."

Really? So can I. Amazing.
IntoTheWild is offline  
Old 11-05-11, 09:07 PM
  #12  
Senior Member
 
vredstein's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Tucson, Arizona
Posts: 704

Bikes: '02 Lemond Buenos Aires, '98 Fuji Touring w/ Shimano Nexus premium, '06 Jamis Nova 853 cross frame set up as commuter, '03 Fuji Roubaix Pro 853 back up training bike

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
Originally Posted by CaptCarrot
One I had - and this was a response I got from several LBS to the same question.

The question was to the efficiency of smaller wheeled cycles against their full sized brethren.

The unanimous conclusion from all LBS is that I would have to pedal more (higher RPM/cadence) to achieve the same speed.

Firstly this was not answering the question on efficiency, and secondly, while it is a correct answer if you are using the exact same gear ratio as a larger bike, 9 times out of 10 you are not and the gear ratio is closer to getting the right gear inches out of the machine.

Not one of the staff in 5 different LBS could comprehend that it is not the size of the wheel by itself that affects the cadence, but wheel size AND gear ratio.
I've dealt with customer who get their rocks off playing quiz master with every bike shop in town. The smart shops play dumb and get the trivia buff out of the shop early on so they can spend time answering real questions from customers who really need an answer.
vredstein is offline  
Old 11-05-11, 09:14 PM
  #13  
Junior Member
 
Torelli4's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Slower Lower Delaware
Posts: 116

Bikes: 1995 Torelli Corsa Strada 2021 State 4130

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
Went to my LBS looking for a single sprocket to make my first fixed gear bike. The mechanic who overheard me ask the owner said "Can't do it." Guess he knew more than Sheldon.
Torelli4 is offline  
Old 11-05-11, 09:36 PM
  #14  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 679
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by CaptCarrot
Not one of the staff in 5 different LBS could comprehend that it is not the size of the wheel by itself that affects the cadence, but wheel size AND gear ratio.
I've run into that level of intelligence from a mechanic, but that wasn't in a bike shop. It's incredible when someone has had the same job for xx years but doesn't know much about it. In fact, doesn't even seem to be really interested in it.

Originally Posted by ahsposo
I learned one of the most important lesson in sales from that guy. Some people really want to dispose of their income and get a nice piece of bling for it. Never ever stand in the way of a customer who wants to give your business money.
I enjoyed that, and it happens. The little saying 'you get what you pay for' seems to me to be one of the dummer things around, but so many people think it is gospel. I usually like to ask 'how much do you spend on oxygen?'

It seems that a lot of people don't research the product. They just look at the price and assume that the more expensive it is, the better. They don't take the details into account.
Closed Office is offline  
Old 11-06-11, 07:02 PM
  #15  
Dirt Bomb
 
sknhgy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,865
Mentioned: 64 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5471 Post(s)
Liked 288 Times in 239 Posts
Bike mechanic told me, "yea, they close the mountain bike trails when they get wet, but you can just sneak on and ride anyway."
__________________
sknhgy is offline  
Old 11-06-11, 07:41 PM
  #16  
Banned.
 
Mr. Beanz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Upland Ca
Posts: 19,895

Bikes: Lemond Chambery/Cannondale R-900/Trek 8000 MTB/Burley Duet tandem

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 4 Times in 3 Posts
High end shop, popular racing team as well. Walked in and asked the sales guy about MTB tires. Encountered this guy a few times before, freaking annoying guy, looks well educated and, dresses like a lawyer in court and acts like he knows everything. I just want a feakin' tire so I figure this guy can't be too much of a smart ass today.

Lawyer wannabe bike shop dude: Can I help you?

Beanz: I need a 26 MTB tire, a 2.1 inch

Lawyer wannabe bike shop dude: A What?

Beanz: 26 MTB tire, a 2.1 inch

Lawyer wannabe bike shop dude: WTH is a 2.1 inch?

Beanz: A freakin' tire that is 2 inches and one tenth wide

Lawyer wannabe bike shop dude: Oh, you mean a Two Point One

Beanz: That's what I said

Lawyer wannabe bike shop dude: No you said a 2.1 inch wide tire

Beanz: WTF do you think 2.1 means?

Lawyer wannabe bike shop dude: It has nothing to do with inches

Beanz: WTF! The tire measures 2.1 inches, it's all freaking math dude!

Lawyer wannabe bike shop dude: Has nothing to do with math, it's bike lingo

Beanz: Bike lingo? 2.1 is all about math, get a ruler dude, the tire measures 2 inches and one tenth, 2 inches and 100 thousandths, whatever you want to call it, it's the width of the tire and it's all about the math.

Lawyer wannabe bike shop dude: Nothing to do with math, it's bike lingo, you want a two point one or a two point two, nothing to do with math.

Beanz: Do you have freaking two inch and a tenth tire or not?!

I swear it was like Monthy Python's argue department, I never went back after that!
Mr. Beanz is offline  
Old 11-06-11, 08:11 PM
  #17  
Senior Member
 
david58's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Los Alamos, NM
Posts: 1,846

Bikes: Fuji Cross Comp, BMC SR02, Surly Krampas

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by Mr. Beanz
High end shop, popular racing team as well. Walked in and asked the sales guy about MTB tires. Encountered this guy a few times before, freaking annoying guy, looks well educated and, dresses like a lawyer in court and acts like he knows everything. I just want a feakin' tire so I figure this guy can't be too much of a smart ass today.

Lawyer wannabe bike shop dude: Can I help you?

Beanz: I need a 26 MTB tire, a 2.1 inch

Lawyer wannabe bike shop dude: A What?

Beanz: 26 MTB tire, a 2.1 inch

Lawyer wannabe bike shop dude: WTH is a 2.1 inch?

Beanz: A freakin' tire that is 2 inches and one tenth wide

Lawyer wannabe bike shop dude: Oh, you mean a Two Point One

Beanz: That's what I said

Lawyer wannabe bike shop dude: No you said a 2.1 inch wide tire

Beanz: WTF do you think 2.1 means?

Lawyer wannabe bike shop dude: It has nothing to do with inches

Beanz: WTF! The tire measures 2.1 inches, it's all freaking math dude!

Lawyer wannabe bike shop dude: Has nothing to do with math, it's bike lingo

Beanz: Bike lingo? 2.1 is all about math, get a ruler dude, the tire measures 2 inches and one tenth, 2 inches and 100 thousandths, whatever you want to call it, it's the width of the tire and it's all about the math.

Lawyer wannabe bike shop dude: Nothing to do with math, it's bike lingo, you want a two point one or a two point two, nothing to do with math.

Beanz: Do you have freaking two inch and a tenth tire or not?!

I swear it was like Monthy Python's argue department, I never went back after that!

Heavens to Betsy! I'd go back just to continue to plumb the depths of that Jackwagon's entertaining stupidity!! I'd bring along folks to watch!!
david58 is offline  
Old 11-06-11, 08:57 PM
  #18  
Banned.
 
Mr. Beanz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Upland Ca
Posts: 19,895

Bikes: Lemond Chambery/Cannondale R-900/Trek 8000 MTB/Burley Duet tandem

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 4 Times in 3 Posts
Originally Posted by david58
Heavens to Betsy! I'd go back just to continue to plumb the depths of that Jackwagon's entertaining stupidity!! I'd bring along folks to watch!!
It's tempting!
Mr. Beanz is offline  
Old 11-07-11, 04:37 AM
  #19  
Senior Member
 
Thulsadoom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Cape Vincent, NY
Posts: 1,392

Bikes: Specialized Tarmac Expert, 2002 TREK 520, Schwinn Mesa WINTER BIKE, Huffy Rock Creek 29er, 1970s-era Ross ten speed. All my bikes are highly modified(except the Tarmac) yet functional, and generally look beat to ****. .

Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 68 Post(s)
Liked 88 Times in 51 Posts
Maybe not exactly an LBS, but I remember once asking an employee in Dicks Sporting Goods if they carried any 700 mm tires. He informed me that they only carried modern bicycle tires.

Quote: "I've never heard of 700mm tires. Must be a really odd size, or for older bikes or something..."
Thulsadoom is offline  
Old 11-07-11, 05:26 AM
  #20  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 128
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by Thulsadoom
Maybe not exactly an LBS, but I remember once asking an employee in Dicks Sporting Goods if they carried any 700 mm tires. He informed me that they only carried modern bicycle tires.

Quote: "I've never heard of 700mm tires. Must be a really odd size, or for older bikes or something..."
Well, he wasn't necessarily too off. 700c wheels really have bead seat diameters of 622mm. The outer diameter of the tire, where it makes road contact, will vary a lot on tread thickness and tire width (since wider tires are taller, too).
IntoTheWild is offline  
Old 11-07-11, 06:31 AM
  #21  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 2,324
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 3 Times in 3 Posts
I don't go into bike shops much, but when I do the dumbest thing I hear is always about lights. The employee will point at a ridiculously over priced blinky and say 'this is really good for city riding', or something similar. Not only dumb it is dangerous too.
daven1986 is offline  
Old 11-07-11, 06:59 AM
  #22  
"He must be crazy!"
 
ColinJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Hebden Bridge, W. Yorks, UK (Brontė country)
Posts: 149

Bikes: Road: Al Cannondale, Steel Basso. MTB: Steel hardtail.

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I was 50 pounds overweight, I hadn't ridden a bike for 20 years, I live in an extremely hilly area, and I had already explained this to the LBS guy ...

Me: "I'm interested in buying this bike but the gearing is too high for me. I wondered if you could swap the 12-25 cassette for a 13-28?"

LBS guy (literally, LOL): "You're kidding, right?"

Me (irritated at his rudeness): "The customer is always right, and I'm telling you that I will need lower gears. I'll be climbing some really steep hills on this and a 42/25 bottom gear won't be low enough.

LBS guy: "Listen, I spent a couple of years racing in Belgium and we used to attack wet cobbled 25% climbs in a 42/21 gear so you can get up anything in 42/25!"

Me: "Okay, I've learned 3 things here today - 1: You are superbly fit. 2: You love showing off how superbly fit you are. 3: You don't have a f*****g clue how to talk to customers! I'll give you one last chance. The correct answer to the next question of mine is 'Certainly sir, I'd be happy to do that for you, right now!'"

LBS guy (blushing): "Er, okay ..."

Me: "If you will swap this 12-25 cassette for a 13-28 at no extra charge in less than 30 minutes, I'll go to the bank and get the cash to buy the bike - okay?"

LBS guy (embarrassed smile on face): "Certainly sir, I'd be happy to do that for you, right now!"

ColinJ is offline  
Old 11-07-11, 10:06 AM
  #23  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 162
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
video or it didnt happen
pg13 is offline  
Old 11-07-11, 10:13 AM
  #24  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 76
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I think I must luck out. My lbs owner used to ride with THE LANCE, and all of his techs are pretty die hard and honest. When any of then don't have the answer they are more than happy to admit it and find it. Questions and a bs session are always welcomed, just make sure you bring roger a jamocha shake from arby's:-)
Bomccorkle is offline  
Old 11-07-11, 10:19 AM
  #25  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 76
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by IntoTheWild
This goes for any brick and mortar business, not just bike shops:

"We can order that for you."

Really? So can I. Amazing.
But I have found that the beauty of having my lbs order it, or any other place for that matter, is that when its not right im not the one hassling with it and it was worth the 37 cent mark up I paid. Besides that the mail order places never answer my questions or wrench on my stuff when I wreck it......
Bomccorkle is offline  


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.