Retro Grouch 

So far as the various doctors that I've consulted can determine, my body is reasonably fit. The last few rides on my SWB recumbent have gone well and I easily rode over a couple of little hills that had me gasping for air earlier this year. I think that I'm ready to take on Jungs Station hill, near my house, again. I've concluded that the physical problems that I reported in June were pretty much all in my head.

Now the question becomes: "What should I do now?" It's easy to think "If you know it's in your head just ignore it." but that's not how my mind works. I've been struggling with this for nearly 4 years so I don't think it's going to go away without a fight. Honestly, I suspect that this unresolved anxiety has contributed to my subsequent injuries.

I'm pretty confident today that I can ride my SWB bike and be happy. That's a huge improvement over 2 or 3 years ago. Mrs. Grouch and I, however, would like to be able to tandem together again so that's an objective. Hitching the Ketts together hasn't been working for us so we've decided to do 3 things:

1. For now we've decided to ride independently. I've ordered a hitch rack that will allow Mrs. Grouch to take her Kett wherever she likes to ride by herself while I ride my SWB.
2. I'm going to continue working with the Ketts to customize them to what we've become used to. Mrs. Grouch HATES the Grip Shifters so they're going to go. I'm 2 or 3 mph slower on my Kett than I am on my SWB so I'm going to see what I can do about that.
3. Most important, I'm going to try seeing a psychologist again. I don't know if they'll be able to help me or not, but I'm willing to try.

Mrs. Grouch and I started riding tandems together in 1976. It's been an important part of our life together and we're not ready to give that up. One nice thing about having problems is that, if you can overcome them, you get a greater sense of accomplishment than if the problem had never existed. I'm looking forward to that. Having been married as long as we have, we know that together we will somehow "muddle through" whatever life throws at us.

Stay tuned.

phread59

Well Grouco I hope you end up healthy by whatever means. I too fight with bouts of anxiety and depression. I take my work too seriously. If I err someone can get hurt or worse. And it can cost people money. Money they just don't have. It scares me many times just heading out to work. And the damn cars keep getting more and more sophisticated. And the training and support get less and less.

Anyhow I hope my favorite Grouch is on the mend. And God Speed to you. You'll have me thinking of you and sending as much good vibes as I can. Be well Grouch.

Mark Shuman

OldTryGuy

Best of luck to the both of you.

gcottay

I think you are on a good track with taking this seriously enough to see an appropriate professional.

Best wishes for an improvement great enough that you only wish you had taken action soon.

Dudelsack 

Had what might have been a minor panic attack recently. I suspect it's not rare in the population.

I was going to say a good ride always helps, but after reading about the two deaths in Michigan, I'm not so sure.

JanMM

Can't argue with your strategy of talking with a credentialed professional about what you've had confirmed are not physical problems. That's the reasonable course.
We all have issues. Not all of us address those issues.
Keep riding.

David Bierbaum

Since you were willing to be seen in public with me, I already knew you were sick of mind!

All facetiousness aside, if you feel you have a problem of the mind, visiting a specialist in problems of the mind could help. Especially now that they know how to dissociate emotional reactions from events in our memories by using repeated remembering of problematic traumatic events while under the influence of Propranolol, if this reaction is actually from a panic attack.

That said, don't rule out physiological causes just yet. Sometimes the docs just miss something, due to obscurity of the condition, or lack of specialization in the area that needs diagnosed. A former pastor of our church was sent to a psychologist for a problem that turned out to be a kidney disorder of some sort.

BigAura

Buy a new (or new to you) bike for a fresh attitude to riding.

Shp4man

I have no answer for you. My usual reaction to stress or whatever is to drink more than I should. Not a good thing at all. Sometimes it gets me over the hump, though. Kids, don't try this at home.

big john

Good luck, RG. Hope you get this resolved and can enjoy riding again.

DnvrFox

I wish you the best, RG. We have had our share of anxiety/related stuff the last 45 years.

David - do you have any more info re: propanolol? In our case it is used to prevent PVC's while on a certain pain medication, nortryptelline.

David Bierbaum

Just what I heard on NPR and dug up on wikipedia. I'm a vacuum for trivia, but frequently get my ideas mixed up in the blender of my mind...

Googling Propranolol memory digs up some interesting links, such as an ongoing clinical trial sponsored by Yale, and this one here. This study seems to declare limits and/or lack of evidence. I hate when they do that...