Label That Cyclist
04-30-09, 10:05 AM
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Label That Cyclist
Let’s continue our efforts toward divisiveness here on A&S with the latest episode of “Label That Cyclist”. Please feel free to add quotes and any labels I may have overlooked.
Who am I?
* Vehicular Cyclist
* Pedestrian on Wheels
* Scofflaw Cyclist
* Safety Nanny Cyclist
“Every evening before I go to sleep, I kneel at the side of my bed and repeat the following mantra exactly seven times: ‘Cyclists fare best when they act and are treated as drivers of vehicles’.”
“I fare best when I stay the heck out of the way.”
“During my morning commute, I like to sing ‘Same Roads – Same Rights – Same Rules’ to the tune of ‘Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s off to work I go’.”
“Same Roads – Same Rights – and scr@w the rules, because it’s all about me, me, me, and I’m morally superior and motorists are big, bad meanies who are trying to kill me.”
“People with important places to go should not have to dodge or be delayed and inconvenienced by me while I prance about on my two-wheeled toy.”
“I prefer to ride integrated with other traffic on sharable roads, sharable width lanes, and bikeable shoulders.”
“I like to ride separated from other traffic, preferably on substandard, congested, slow, and dangerous bike lanes, gutters, sidewalks, paths, and whatever other bike ghettos I can find.”
“I go somewhere to ride.”
“I ride to go somewhere.”
“We need more education, more regulation, more law enforcement, (and more helmets) to make sure everyone is riding safely and properly.”
“Laws, right-of-way, and predictability are for suckers. Razor-sharp alertness and extreme bike handling prowess are all I need to survive. Of course, this works best if the rest of you follow the rules.”
“I prefer to ride like a grown-up.”
“I believe in the magical powers of white paint to protect me from the evil cagers.”
“The only law I follow is the law of the jungle: the strong survive and the weak get eaten.”
“I’m not afraid of traffic, I am traffic.”
“The laws of physics trump the laws of the state every time.”
“My legitimacy as a road user is threatened by all the meek, immature, and criminally insane cyclists out there.”
“A collision requires that two people make a mistake – all I have to do is make sure I’m not one of them.”
“Where I live, there’s a fantastic network of bike paths that will take me anywhere I need to go – they’re called roads.”
“I believe the acronym ‘VC’ derives from a Latin phrase which, roughly translated, means ‘hood ornament’.”
“I love to watch the horrified expressions on pedestrians’ and motorists’ faces as I skillfully avoid them by mere inches when I run through red lights.”
Who am I?
* Vehicular Cyclist
* Pedestrian on Wheels
* Scofflaw Cyclist
* Safety Nanny Cyclist
“Every evening before I go to sleep, I kneel at the side of my bed and repeat the following mantra exactly seven times: ‘Cyclists fare best when they act and are treated as drivers of vehicles’.”
“I fare best when I stay the heck out of the way.”
“During my morning commute, I like to sing ‘Same Roads – Same Rights – Same Rules’ to the tune of ‘Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s off to work I go’.”
“Same Roads – Same Rights – and scr@w the rules, because it’s all about me, me, me, and I’m morally superior and motorists are big, bad meanies who are trying to kill me.”
“People with important places to go should not have to dodge or be delayed and inconvenienced by me while I prance about on my two-wheeled toy.”
“I prefer to ride integrated with other traffic on sharable roads, sharable width lanes, and bikeable shoulders.”
“I like to ride separated from other traffic, preferably on substandard, congested, slow, and dangerous bike lanes, gutters, sidewalks, paths, and whatever other bike ghettos I can find.”
“I go somewhere to ride.”
“I ride to go somewhere.”
“We need more education, more regulation, more law enforcement, (and more helmets) to make sure everyone is riding safely and properly.”
“Laws, right-of-way, and predictability are for suckers. Razor-sharp alertness and extreme bike handling prowess are all I need to survive. Of course, this works best if the rest of you follow the rules.”
“I prefer to ride like a grown-up.”
“I believe in the magical powers of white paint to protect me from the evil cagers.”
“The only law I follow is the law of the jungle: the strong survive and the weak get eaten.”
“I’m not afraid of traffic, I am traffic.”
“The laws of physics trump the laws of the state every time.”
“My legitimacy as a road user is threatened by all the meek, immature, and criminally insane cyclists out there.”
“A collision requires that two people make a mistake – all I have to do is make sure I’m not one of them.”
“Where I live, there’s a fantastic network of bike paths that will take me anywhere I need to go – they’re called roads.”
“I believe the acronym ‘VC’ derives from a Latin phrase which, roughly translated, means ‘hood ornament’.”
“I love to watch the horrified expressions on pedestrians’ and motorists’ faces as I skillfully avoid them by mere inches when I run through red lights.”
04-30-09, 10:50 AM
#2
totally louche
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"Is 10 percent bicycle modal share possible in america?"
"I prefer to ride integrated with other traffic on roads, sharable width lanes preferably with well engineered bike infrastructure along main routes forming viable bicycling networks across communities or without, and bikeable shoulders.”
"I prefer to ride integrated with other traffic on roads, sharable width lanes preferably with well engineered bike infrastructure along main routes forming viable bicycling networks across communities or without, and bikeable shoulders.”
Last edited by Bekologist; 04-30-09 at 11:10 AM.
04-30-09, 11:10 AM
#3
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Good ones.
My point is that for a cycling advocacy forum, we seem to invest a lot more time and energy on picking apart our differences and fomenting internal conflict than on achieving a strong consensus and realistic plans that will move cycling forward as a viable and sensible transportation alternative.
My point is that for a cycling advocacy forum, we seem to invest a lot more time and energy on picking apart our differences and fomenting internal conflict than on achieving a strong consensus and realistic plans that will move cycling forward as a viable and sensible transportation alternative.
04-30-09, 11:23 AM
#4
L T X B O M P F A N S R
Good ones.
My point is that for a cycling advocacy forum, we seem to invest a lot more time and energy on picking apart our differences and fomenting internal conflict than on achieving a strong consensus and realistic plans that will move cycling forward as a viable and sensible transportation alternative.
My point is that for a cycling advocacy forum, we seem to invest a lot more time and energy on picking apart our differences and fomenting internal conflict than on achieving a strong consensus and realistic plans that will move cycling forward as a viable and sensible transportation alternative.
04-30-09, 11:29 AM
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Good ones.
My point is that for a cycling advocacy forum, we seem to invest a lot more time and energy on picking apart our differences and fomenting internal conflict than on achieving a strong consensus and realistic plans that will move cycling forward as a viable and sensible transportation alternative.
My point is that for a cycling advocacy forum, we seem to invest a lot more time and energy on picking apart our differences and fomenting internal conflict than on achieving a strong consensus and realistic plans that will move cycling forward as a viable and sensible transportation alternative.
04-30-09, 12:26 PM
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Tortoise Wins by a Hare!
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*Bike Snob
"I fare best because I am best."
I like your new avatar ILTB.
"I fare best because I am best."
I like your new avatar ILTB.
04-30-09, 12:30 PM
#7
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04-30-09, 09:58 PM
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Best A&S post ever.
-Kurt
-Kurt
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05-02-09, 07:35 PM
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One of my catch phrases: Be a considerate cyclists when drivers are considerate and be an assertive cyclists when drivers are assertive.
05-03-09, 08:29 AM
#12
Senior Member
Call me a Safety Nut, call me a Safety Nazi, but don't call me a Safety Nanny.
05-03-09, 06:20 PM
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05-04-09, 08:23 AM
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I was trying to be even-handed with the caricatures. Sorry if you think I failed.
I have to admit that I find the antics in A&S immensely entertaining at times. There must be some primitive impulse in the human soul that makes us want to run for the popcorn whenever somebody throws raw meat into a pit full of ravenous dogs. But we have a lot more in common and a lot more at stake than we often seem to realize.
I have to admit that I find the antics in A&S immensely entertaining at times. There must be some primitive impulse in the human soul that makes us want to run for the popcorn whenever somebody throws raw meat into a pit full of ravenous dogs. But we have a lot more in common and a lot more at stake than we often seem to realize.
05-04-09, 08:33 AM
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I was trying to be even-handed with the caricatures. Sorry if you think I failed.
I have to admit that I find the antics in A&S immensely entertaining at times. There must be some primitive impulse in the human soul that makes us want to run for the popcorn whenever somebody throws raw meat into a pit full of ravenous dogs. But we have a lot more in common and a lot more at stake than we often seem to realize.
I have to admit that I find the antics in A&S immensely entertaining at times. There must be some primitive impulse in the human soul that makes us want to run for the popcorn whenever somebody throws raw meat into a pit full of ravenous dogs. But we have a lot more in common and a lot more at stake than we often seem to realize.
__________________
"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
05-04-09, 08:45 AM
#16
totally louche
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sock puppet!
05-04-09, 10:29 AM
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I guess that would depend on who's sock puppet you are.
__________________
"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
05-04-09, 10:57 AM
#19
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Why not simply say:
I'm a Yehuda
or
I'm a Joe.
I'm a Yehuda
or
I'm a Joe.
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The few, the proud, the likely insane, Metro-Atlanta bicycle commuters.
The few, the proud, the likely insane, Metro-Atlanta bicycle commuters.
05-04-09, 11:37 AM
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New members usually don't try to pass themselves off as old hands...as your OP seemed to.
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
05-04-09, 03:26 PM
#23
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