So my roommate borrowed my old craptastic Bikes By George fixie awhile back, having never ridden fixed before. He's booking it down Lafayette Street, thinking he's the king of the world. Then he tries to stop pedalling. The bike, of course, does not want him to stop pedaling. So it flips him over the handlebars and crashes itself into the curb.
The front wheel got pretty mashed up, but I let the thing sit in the closet, putting off getting it fixed because I'd just got my shiny new IRO.
So today I finally take the wheel off and walk it over to Habitat. I walk in, Hal recognizes me, and says, "what have you got for me?"
I say: "a challenge."
He takes a look at the wheel in my hand, and his face falls. Laughing, he says, "this may be one challenge I fail."
Well, I hand it to him, and he looks at it for a few moments, then declares, "I'm going to do this redneck."
Let's hear that again:
"I'm going to do this redneck."
He then proceeds to BASH THE WHEEL ON THE GROUND SEVERAL TIMES AS HARD AS HE CAN!
A few more minutes in the truing stand, and the sonnufabeaach is as true as the day I bought it.
Hell, I'll pay $13.04 anyday to watch a baddass dreadlocked balding white man bash a bicycle wheel into shape. I even got a wheel straightened out of the deal.
He needs to start a clothing line with his face on t-shirts and messenger bags. Can somebody at least make his visage into an alleycat spoke card or something?