STREET NINJA TRIX: #2 - HOWTO Make Bike Porn
05-09-05, 11:30 AM
#1
i chew straws
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With the success of our last our last STREET NINJA TRIX, I have descended from the shadows to present #2. HOWTO Make Bike Porn.
1. Clean your bike.
2. Spray some cologne on it. (Preferably something made by a washed up celebrity. see: J.Low, Britney Spears)
3. Ride to a city center. Be sure to keep your headgear and katana nearby. This helps other bikers identify you.
4. Get ready for the photo spread!
As you can see below, these four steps will help you take on the likes of Mr. Jeremy.
Nice lighting. Notice the BLING EFFECT from the rims. The "rear mount."
HARDCORE! This isn't your HBO Red Shoe Diaries crud. Triple header.
1. Clean your bike.
2. Spray some cologne on it. (Preferably something made by a washed up celebrity. see: J.Low, Britney Spears)
3. Ride to a city center. Be sure to keep your headgear and katana nearby. This helps other bikers identify you.
4. Get ready for the photo spread!
As you can see below, these four steps will help you take on the likes of Mr. Jeremy.
Nice lighting. Notice the BLING EFFECT from the rims. The "rear mount."
HARDCORE! This isn't your HBO Red Shoe Diaries crud. Triple header.
05-09-05, 12:18 PM
#2
Aluminum.
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Hot!
__________________
"Oh, what are they going to do... other than tremble incessantly?"
"Oh, what are they going to do... other than tremble incessantly?"
05-09-05, 01:04 PM
#4
F*** Corporate Beer
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Great, now I need to explain the birds & the bees to my cat who witnessed that vile act. What has the internet come to?!?!?!
*deletes cookies*
*deletes cookies*
Last edited by daveIT; 05-09-05 at 01:05 PM. Reason: .
05-09-05, 01:31 PM
#5
Mo' Senior
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I like the hot BSDM outfit on the yellow bike in the second photo ...
Mmm ... tight rubber ...
I feel dirty now.
Mmm ... tight rubber ...
I feel dirty now.
05-09-05, 01:48 PM
#6
switching to guns
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can't do none of that without
05-09-05, 03:00 PM
#8
hang up your boots
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There is another bike in the background sticking its a$$ out at the the group.
05-09-05, 05:14 PM
#9
i chew straws
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Originally Posted by ch0mb0
can't do none of that without
05-09-05, 09:13 PM
#10
...leaving skid marks
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i'm really glad that the diameter of most bike tubing is smaller than the diameter of.. well.. you know.
05-09-05, 09:25 PM
#11
ogre
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Originally Posted by daveIT
*deletes cookies*
05-10-05, 12:19 PM
#12
F*** Corporate Beer
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Originally Posted by turd
i'm really glad that the diameter of most bike tubing is smaller than the diameter of.. well.. you know.
05-11-05, 06:51 PM
#13
i chew straws
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Originally Posted by turd
i'm really glad that the diameter of most bike tubing is smaller than the diameter of.. well.. you know.
05-16-05, 10:01 AM
#16
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No protection...Do I hear the pitter-patter of mini-fixies in the near future? I think so.
05-16-05, 10:13 AM
#17
more ape than man
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Originally Posted by turd
i'm really glad that the diameter of most bike tubing is smaller than the diameter of.. well.. you know.
05-16-05, 10:19 AM
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WHats up with that bike in the background in that first picture? A little vouyer action going on, too, huh? hehe
05-16-05, 02:29 PM
#20
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Originally Posted by William Karsten
Wierd drop outs on the yellow bike.
05-16-05, 04:01 PM
#21
Traffic shark
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Originally Posted by Jaminsky
Nah nah, you're just looking at them the wrong way.
I was. I'm a fool.
05-16-05, 05:34 PM
#22
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OK you people.
When I was a kid, we used to take our bikes and make "the milk machine". Let me see, we used to take one bike, take the chain, and hook it up to another bike, then put the rear wheel of another one next to that rear wheel, and you turn the pedals on one, they all turn. All bikes inverted, standing on their seats/handlebars. I wish I had a picture, that would have been the one justification worth getting my "Checkers and Pogo" camera. We were crazy kids, I never knew we were pervs.
When I was a kid, we used to take our bikes and make "the milk machine". Let me see, we used to take one bike, take the chain, and hook it up to another bike, then put the rear wheel of another one next to that rear wheel, and you turn the pedals on one, they all turn. All bikes inverted, standing on their seats/handlebars. I wish I had a picture, that would have been the one justification worth getting my "Checkers and Pogo" camera. We were crazy kids, I never knew we were pervs.
05-17-05, 08:50 AM
#23
i chew straws
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Originally Posted by timmhaan
you should leave the backpack out of the shot next time. makes it seem like low budget bike porn. 
05-17-05, 03:20 PM
#24
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Originally Posted by stinkyonions
You speak like a man of, ahem, experience. My bike fetish is only to fend of ninjas and pirates.
and btw do you have to do it in front of my cityhall.. i mean i know peeps that got married in there.
05-17-05, 09:54 PM
#25
cxmagazine dot com
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Originally Posted by Jaminsky
No protection...Do I hear the pitter-patter of mini-fixies in the near future? I think so.
StinkyO's - who owns the Viner? Nice looking ride.