Tristan, did you fake sick today?
Some girl is at your desk! There's no track bike by the printer?
Let me tell you, the key to faking out the office manager is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom. I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you a good phoney fever is a deadlock, but you get a nervous HR manager, you could wind up in a doctor's office--that's worse than work. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then so is work.