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Thread: "Worst of 2005"

  1. #1
    If you don't look good... benk0's Avatar
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    "Worst of 2005"

    Taken from Issue #93, December 2005 - XLR8R Magazine

    "10. Track Bikes : Track bike riders are the new vegans. They get all sanctimonious if you have brakes and they go to brunch with their pant legs rolled up and their chains around their waists so that even when they're not on their precious baby bikes people will know they're elite. And don't invite them to a party at your house or they will drop their noisy chains on the floor 400 times, drink all your beer and piss in their pants."

  2. #2
    roll'em high shants's Avatar
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    **** yes. i just wonder what they are locking their bike with if they still have their chain around their waist.

    that said, i will definitely drink all of your beer, and, if the situation is right, i will piss my pants, get up, and then snort your cocaine. that's how we roll.

  3. #3
    meet the mets chicagoamdream's Avatar
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    Brunch is the new track bikes.
    Quote Originally Posted by monkey
    You could be doing blow off a dead hooker with a needle sticking out of your arm and you wouldn't get kicked out of Humboldt.

  4. #4
    Skidmaster teadoggg's Avatar
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    HAHAHAHA, brunch... what a giant pile of flaming ****

  5. #5
    King Among Runaways hyperRevue's Avatar
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    What is XLR8R Magazine??

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    "10. Road Bikes : Road bike riders are the new non-transportational cyclists. They get all sanctimonious if you don't show up with a BMW with carbon strapped to the trunk and they go to brunch with their diaper pants and their gu stained bib-shorts, their waists are generally large so it begs the question, "Why carbon?" Their precious baby bikes aren't designed to bear that weight even at the low speed, low stress MUP on the way to the donut shop. And don't invite them to a party at your house or they will drop their noisy comments about grams and carbon on the poor tired ears of people who actually use their bikes functionally instead of recreationally, they will drink all your wine and generally act "Holier than thou" and leave the rest of the revelers thinking, "What a pompous ass"

    *Just for fun.

  7. #7
    aka mattio queerpunk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MKRG
    *Just for fun.
    how about...

    "10. Downhill bikers. It's all ****ing gravity, for ****'s sake. **** that ****."
    the hipster myth.

    i practice vagabondery.

  8. #8
    Senior Member 1fluffhead's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MKRG
    "10. Road Bikes : Road bike riders are the new non-transportational cyclists. They get all sanctimonious if you don't show up with a BMW with carbon strapped to the trunk and they go to brunch with their diaper pants and their gu stained bib-shorts, their waists are generally large so it begs the question, "Why carbon?" Their precious baby bikes aren't designed to bear that weight even at the low speed, low stress MUP on the way to the donut shop. And don't invite them to a party at your house or they will drop their noisy comments about grams and carbon on the poor tired ears of people who actually use their bikes functionally instead of recreationally, they will drink all your wine and generally act "Holier than thou" and leave the rest of the revelers thinking, "What a pompous ass"

    *Just for fun.
    Much better version then original

  9. #9
    Senior Member eddiebrannan's Avatar
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    so. true.

    suck it up

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    succumbs to errata jaypee's Avatar
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    Woah.. XLR8R survived the great rave-dieback of the 1990's? I had no idea they were still around. Regardless, I find this funny.

  11. #11
    hell's angels h/q e3st ny brunop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shants
    **** yes. i just wonder what they are locking their bike with if they still have their chain around their waist.

    that said, i will definitely drink all of your beer, and, if the situation is right, i will piss my pants, get up, and then snort your cocaine. that's how we roll.
    shants i gotta hand it to ya dude! sometimes you are way funny! dap!!

    funny stuff here. way!

  12. #12
    or tarckeemoon, depending marqueemoon's Avatar
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    Don't invite me to brunch. I'll eat all the pastries and drink all the coffee.

  13. #13
    cxmagazine dot com pitboss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by benk0
    they go to brunch with their pant legs rolled up
    oh yes, the other meals of the day: brunch. Hated
    Deathlap - cyclocross, training, beer,...escape hatch

  14. #14
    bah Fantomas's Avatar
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    the part their ****ing up is that the beer IS brunch. *****es.

  15. #15
    bought a new car $0.00/Gal's Avatar
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    Brunch? I spend my nights snorting too much coke, drinking too much beer, and having too much sex to wake up before 3pm. VIVA LA POSENGERS

  16. #16
    Me talk pretty one day. eyefloater's Avatar
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    Don't hate on brunch, kids.

  17. #17
    perspective distorts killsurfcity's Avatar
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    brunch is where it's at! the only thing that tops it is the indian buffet "meal of the day". wake up at 1, out to the spot by 3, eat yourself sick, home by 4, get indian food coma, sleep 'til 7, wake up still full... begin parting the night away!

    on topic: if you get paid to write anything, who gives a sht what you say! boo-yah!

  18. #18
    meet the mets chicagoamdream's Avatar
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    Personally, I like to anonymously bow out of brunch plans with Steaktaco that he knows nothing about.
    Quote Originally Posted by monkey
    You could be doing blow off a dead hooker with a needle sticking out of your arm and you wouldn't get kicked out of Humboldt.

  19. #19
    DNPAIMFB pinkrobe's Avatar
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    One time, at brunch, 3 of 8 found hair in our food. Nobody spewed, but I gagged at the sight of poor Marnie extracting a foot-long hair from her mouth. Banff Springs Hotel - FYI.
    Proud Member of the HHCMF
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  20. #20
    Bow$$ dustinlikewhat's Avatar
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    Track bike riders are the new vegans.
    it's true, they both have stinky farts.

  21. #21
    bought a new car $0.00/Gal's Avatar
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    Mine are just stinky cuz my saddle holds them in while I am riding. Gives em time to marinate.

  22. #22
    ...leaving skid marks turd's Avatar
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    brunch is how us poor folk get to have two meals for the price of one plus unlimited bloody mary's and feel really bourgie about it, all before 2pm.

    Marge: What's brunch?

    Jacques: You'll love it. It's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end. You don't get completely what you would get at breakfast, but you get a good meal.
    http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/episodeg...on1/7g11.shtml
    *turd
    can our bikes be friends: fuji track (#3062) & iffy road

  23. #23
    Radio Bemba 00.0 EnLaCalle's Avatar
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    Are we talking about the Essex brunch? I actually haven't been, but i've heard about those all you can bloody mary! that's kind of awesome. How is the food? (if we're talking about the same thing here)

  24. #24
    consistent inconsistency habitus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by turd
    brunch is how us poor folk get to have two meals for the price of one plus unlimited bloody mary's and feel really bourgie about it, all before 2pm.



    http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/episodeg...on1/7g11.shtml
    EVERY time i hear the word "brunch" i think of that scene!
    every scar has a story

  25. #25
    Headed to the Library... DC_Emily's Avatar
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    brunch plans....check
    beer....check
    coke....check

    when's this party?? I'm so there

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