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Thread: I'm a poseur.

  1. #1
    Padovano Mike552's Avatar
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    I'm a poseur.

    Well, yesterday was the day I officially became a poseur.
    It all happened while I was in downtown Boston riding my SS around.... It was a nice sunny day and I just finished mashing the pedals uphill on State street, in front of the state house, when the ground leveled off. Knowing full well that I was riding SS, I decided to take advantage of this and enjoy a short moment of coasting pleasure while the sun warmed my face.... but wait... what's that in the distance? A FG rider? Oh-oh... I quickly went into stealth mode and started pedaling my gear ratio out of fear that the approaching rider would judge my inferiority due to my coasting single speed. Luckily, having owned a couple of FG bikes, I was able to emulate the look, turning the cranks in a smooth and seamless repetitive fashion as the passing rider eyes my derailleur-less machine and gives his nod of approval.... all is well. But wait! (dramatic music playing) As I continue to revolve the crank, my knee locks up..... I am left there, exposed. The damage was done. There was nothing left to do except coast by with my head bowed down in shame as his judging eyes burned a whole through my freewheel. I am dumbfounded as to why I did it in the first place... but I did, and that's all that counts. No chocolate chip eggos for me this morning.
    *1987 Panasonic DX-5000/STI-9 *1983 Univega Gran Premio/STI-9 *1991 Bridgestone MB-2/Suntour XC Pro

  2. #2
    (((Fully Awake))) Serendipper's Avatar
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    Wow. You have issues, man.

    Why not just buy a fixed rear wheel and save yourself thousands of dollars in therapy?

  3. #3
    Senior Member Briareos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike552
    Well, yesterday was the day I officially became a poseur.
    It all happened while I was in downtown Boston riding my SS around.... It was a nice sunny day and I just finished mashing the pedals uphill on State street, in front of the state house, when the ground leveled off. Knowing full well that I was riding SS, I decided to take advantage of this and enjoy a short moment of coasting pleasure while the sun warmed my face.... but wait... what's that in the distance? A FG rider? Oh-oh... I quickly went into stealth mode and started pedaling my gear ratio out of fear that the approaching rider would judge my inferiority due to my coasting single speed. Luckily, having owned a couple of FG bikes, I was able to emulate the look, turning the cranks in a smooth and seamless repetitive fashion as the passing rider eyes my derailleur-less machine and gives his nod of approval.... all is well. But wait! (dramatic music playing) As I continue to revolve the crank, my knee locks up..... I am left there, exposed. The damage was done. There was nothing left to do except coast by with my head bowed down in shame as his judging eyes burned a whole through my freewheel. I am dumbfounded as to why I did it in the first place... but I did, and that's all that counts. No chocolate chip eggos for me this morning.
    Did you ever consider that he too was riding a freewheel? Upon spotting you, he freaks out and tries to pretend he's on a fixed gear just like you did. Unfortunately, you "blinked" first and accidentally coasted in front of him, much to his relief I imagine.

    Frankly, both of y'all need to be hit upside the head.

  4. #4
    Perineal Pressurized dobber's Avatar
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    Sure he wasn't a poseur also?
    This is Africa, 1943. War spits out its violence overhead and the sandy graveyard swallows it up. Her name is King Nine, B-25, medium bomber, Twelfth Air Force. On a hot, still morning she took off from Tunisia to bomb the southern tip of Italy. An errant piece of flak tore a hole in a wing tank and, like a wounded bird, this is where she landed, not to return on this day, or any other day.

  5. #5
    Sheldon Brown's posse shogun17's Avatar
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    just wait until a roadie rides past on a $7000 race machine and smirks at your fixed gear.
    Last edited by shogun17; 01-30-07 at 03:02 PM.

  6. #6
    Traffic Frightener. Rusty Valiant's Avatar
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    And then the three of you get flipped off by a kid speeding by on a hoverboard.
    Unsafe at Any Speed.

  7. #7
    jack of one or two trades Aeroplane's Avatar
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    That made Mayo look like Updike.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr Irwin Goldstein
    Men should never ride bicycles. Riding should be banned and outlawed. It is
    the most irrational form of exercise I could ever bring to discussion.

  8. #8
    如果你能讀了這個你講中文 genericbikedude's Avatar
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    OMG nobody rides fixed ever!!!! its all lies!!!

  9. #9
    Senior Member refry's Avatar
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    I am a poseur and I don't care
    I like to make people stare
    I am a poseur and I don't care
    I like to make people stare

    Exhibition is the name
    Voyeurism is the game
    Stereoscopic is the show
    Viewing time makes it grow

    My facade is just a fake
    Shock horror no escape
    Sensationalism for the feed
    Characatures are what you breed

    Anti-art was the start
    Establishments like a laugh
    Yes we're very entertaining
    Overtones can be betraying

    oh snap i wish i thought of this earleir...

  10. #10
    ★ ★ ★
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rusty Valiant
    And then the three of you get flipped off by a kid speeding by on a hoverboard.

  11. #11
    Traffic Frightener. Rusty Valiant's Avatar
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    You can't go on water though-
    Unless you have POWER.
    Unsafe at Any Speed.

  12. #12
    I LOVE ME A GOOD FOIGHT octopus magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shogun17
    just wait until a oadie rides past on a $7000 race machine and smirks at your fixed gear.
    Roadies wave at me.

    But then again, my bike is a big dumb puppy that everyone loves.
    I ride with pants so tight that they're spandex.
    http://velospace.org/node/2114 - CROSS CROSS CROSS
    http://velospace.org/node/10792 - TIME TRIAL TIME TRIAL TRACK
    http://velospace.org/node/10550 - TRAIN RACE TRAIN

  13. #13
    Just shy of 400W ranger5oh's Avatar
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    haahahah, great story!
    2008 Cannondale System Six
    2003 Klein Palomino MTB

    60% of the time, it works everytime.

  14. #14
    dances with bicycle 46x17's Avatar
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    your pedalling is usesless! We can tell anyway!
    Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
    -- Soren Kierkegaard

  15. #15
    hello roadfix's Avatar
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    Committing seppuku would have been the honorable thing to do.
    .cinelli.olympic.surly.long.haul.trucker.kona.ku.surly.steamroller.
    .litespeed.classic.litespeed.firenze.bianchi.pista.dean.colonel.plus.more.

  16. #16
    dan bones! goldenskeletons's Avatar
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    while your story is slightly neurotic, i can entirely relate to the whole, "oh ****, i'm downtown in boston and my bike ain't that nice and that dude is totally staring me down for it" mentality. you'll get over it. since moving to new york, i have never once gotten the biker stare down like i used to. i think its really a boston thing. i worked for the same company as some of these guys that would pretend i didn't exist when i was in the office with them. just a whooole lot of "are you cool? do i know you?" looks.
    but i hold no grudges at all. i absolutely love/miss riding in that town.

  17. #17
    *****es love tarck kemmer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goldenskeletons
    while your story is slightly neurotic, i can entirely relate to the whole, "oh ****, i'm downtown in boston and my bike ain't that nice and that dude is totally staring me down for it" mentality. you'll get over it. since moving to new york, i have never once gotten the biker stare down like i used to. i think its really a boston thing. i worked for the same company as some of these guys that would pretend i didn't exist when i was in the office with them. just a whooole lot of "are you cool? do i know you?" looks.
    but i hold no grudges at all. i absolutely love/miss riding in that town.

    Haha, sometimes I wish someone would judge me like that just so I could not care. That's why I kinda miss high school...

  18. #18
    blah blah blah phoenix's Avatar
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    This thread is hilarious!

    Sometimes when I drive my girlfriends car which is an automatic I act like i'm driving a manual.
    my new sig!

  19. #19
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    what's the difference between a fixed gear and a singlespeed?

  20. #20
    Schwinn is In beakgeek's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by moki
    what's the difference between a fixed gear and a singlespeed?
    Learn the way of the Google and the wisdom will present itself

  21. #21
    Dismount Run Remount etc. 12XU's Avatar
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    The real way to salvage such a situation is to flip over the bars when your knee locks up, as would happen on a fixed gear if you were too inept to continue pedaling.

  22. #22
    Strange As Angels Fixxxie's Avatar
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    we're through being cool
    eliminate the ninnies and the twits
    going to bang some heads
    going to beat some butts
    time to show those evil spuds what's what
    if you live in a small town
    you might meet a dozen or two
    young alien types who step out
    and dare to declare
    spank the pank who try to drive you nuts
    time to clean some house
    be a man or a mouse
    waste those who make it tuff to get around
    if you live in a big place
    many factions underground
    chase down mister hinky dink
    so no trace can be found
    put the tape on erase
    rearrange a face
    we always liked picasso anyway
    mash 'em

    Quote Originally Posted by sefb222 View Post
    a good reason to form a demolition derby, for fixed gear bikes and the fools who love them.

  23. #23
    SERENITY NOW!!! jyossarian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by moki
    what's the difference between a fixed gear and a singlespeed?
    None at all. A fixed gear has a single speed.
    HHCMF - Take pride in your ability to amaze lesser mortals! - MikeR



    We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

  24. #24
    bob turk teakwood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by moki
    what's the difference between a fixed gear and a singlespeed?
    humiliation, mostly

  25. #25
    Senior Member Danhalen's Avatar
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    Why the heck would he give a **** whether or not you were riding fixed? I haven't gotten past that part yet.

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