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  1. #1
    Sir Fallalot wroomwroomoops's Avatar
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    Am I crazy? Want to make this into SS urban assault.

    I am thinking of buying this bike, removing the fenders and putting on fat tires (Big Apple 26x2.3"). I'm pretty secure in my manlihood, so the "Hello Kitty" thing doesn't bother me. But I don't know the geometry of this frame, don't know would the fat Big Apples fit there. I am pretty sure some of you guys had personally met this kind of bike, so let me know how's going to work.

  2. #2
    Senior Member abeyance's Avatar
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    No. Just No on so many levels.
    1. 1 piece cranks.
    2. Kickstand
    3. Single Wall Rims
    4. Coaster Brake
    5. Fake Leather
    6. 2 feet of seatpost.

    NO. No no no no no. If this was a "Going to get beer" type of bike: OK.

    "Urban Assault" kind of bike? Only if you were the person getting assaulted.
    It's like killing people by making them OD on THC, where the idea is unique, but the execution is fundamentally flawed.
    not banned anymore

  3. #3
    Stinky McStinkface exfreewheeler's Avatar
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    That frame is not made to withstand "urban assault" type riding. So, NO!
    Because, yeah... uh huh! Umm, yeah!

  4. #4
    *****es love tarck kemmer's Avatar
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    Go buy that bike, but don't you dare change a thing.

    Just kidding. Actually I think that bike would be ridiculously fun to hop some curbs, do some stairs etc... It will break, but you'll have fun breaking it. I'm pretty sure the big apples will fit too, particularly if you remove the fenders. Let us know how it goes.

  5. #5
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    What's the appeal of the bike, other than kitsch? It's pretty clearly junk-- why not give irony a rest, and let someone who will genuinely enjoy it buy it (presuming such folk exist)?

  6. #6
    my bike Owns me+my wallet Kol.klink's Avatar
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    First of all When mounting an urban assault Caliber range and acuracy are the first things one wants to consider, Allthough i enjoy and aknowlage the Subtlety of the hello kitty maybe its more fit for some kind of nija run for an ubran assault i think the following bit of hardware would do a much finer job


  7. #7
    Ride On!! PanPanX's Avatar
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    I dont understand why you would change anything. It's a pretty sweet looking bike. Hello Kitty rules!

  8. #8
    Boston did not sob 9Rings's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kol.klink View Post
    First of all When mounting an urban assault Caliber range and acuracy are the first things one wants to consider, Allthough i enjoy and aknowlage the Subtlety of the hello kitty maybe its more fit for some kind of nija run for an ubran assault i think the following bit of hardware would do a much finer job

    Oh my!

    the combination sniper scope with folding bipod for long distance work, yet coupled with a mounted bayonett for the real nitty gritty stuff I find somehow quite satisfying...

  9. #9
    Boston did not sob 9Rings's Avatar
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    And to the OP, yes you are crazy for wanting that bike.

  10. #10
    Sir Fallalot wroomwroomoops's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gordiep View Post
    What's the appeal of the bike, other than kitsch? It's pretty clearly junk-- why not give irony a rest, and let someone who will genuinely enjoy it buy it (presuming such folk exist)?
    Well, you said it yourself: the kitsch and the irony. And what makes you think I would not genuinely enjoy it? But I get your point, and will consider it.

    Quote Originally Posted by kemmer View Post
    Go buy that bike, but don't you dare change a thing.

    Just kidding. Actually I think that bike would be ridiculously fun to hop some curbs, do some stairs etc... It will break, but you'll have fun breaking it. I'm pretty sure the big apples will fit too, particularly if you remove the fenders. Let us know how it goes.
    So, you're sure it'll break? That's too bad, and therefore not worth 100 EUR. Maybe it wouldn't be worth that money anyway, but I was overwhealmed by the ridicoulousness of the idea, and almost couldn't resist.


    Quote Originally Posted by PanPanX View Post
    I dont understand why you would change anything. It's a pretty sweet looking bike. Hello Kitty rules!
    After one sheds the unnecessary macho crap: yeah, it does! Both on a bull****ting level, as well as on that endearing one. You'd be a total tool to dislike Hello Kitty!



    Thanks guys, all of you - I thought I'll be rapped on to death. Instead, I see people are quite a bit friendlier than I imagined.

  11. #11
    Stinky McStinkface exfreewheeler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wroomwroomoops View Post
    Well, you said it yourself: the kitsch and the irony. And what makes you think I would not genuinely enjoy it? But I get your point, and will consider it.



    So, you're sure it'll break? That's too bad, and therefore not worth 100 EUR. Maybe it wouldn't be worth that money anyway, but I was overwhealmed by the ridicoulousness of the idea, and almost couldn't resist.




    After one sheds the unnecessary macho crap: yeah, it does! Both on a bull****ting level, as well as on that endearing one. You'd be a total tool to dislike Hello Kitty!



    Thanks guys, all of you - I thought I'll be rapped on to death. Instead, I see people are quite a bit friendlier than I imagined.

    I just recently looked at who posted this... when I saw it was you, I was like, "what the hell?!?!". I was expecting to find some new username with "newbie" underneath.

    You're a baaad boy!
    Because, yeah... uh huh! Umm, yeah!

  12. #12
    Sir Fallalot wroomwroomoops's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by abeyance View Post
    No. Just No on so many levels.
    1. 1 piece cranks.
    2. Kickstand
    3. Single Wall Rims
    4. Coaster Brake
    5. Fake Leather
    6. 2 feet of seatpost.

    NO. No no no no no. If this was a "Going to get beer" type of bike: OK.

    "Urban Assault" kind of bike? Only if you were the person getting assaulted.
    It's like killing people by making them OD on THC, where the idea is unique, but the execution is fundamentally flawed.
    1. Got spare BB and crankset
    2. Would take it off.
    3. Got 26" wheelset
    4. See above.
    5. That really doesn't bother me the least.
    6. Hmmm... okay, now there you might have something going...

    But all in all, aren't you a bit too harsh? The "it will break" argument is the most disheartening to me, but yours aren't discouraging me all that much. Maybe #6.

  13. #13
    Senior Member abeyance's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wroomwroomoops View Post
    1. Got spare BB and crankset
    2. Would take it off.
    3. Got 26" wheelset
    4. See above.
    5. That really doesn't bother me the least.
    6. Hmmm... okay, now there you might have something going...

    But all in all, aren't you a bit too harsh? The "it will break" argument is the most disheartening to me, but yours aren't discouraging me all that much. Maybe #6.
    Maybe it seemed like I was in a grumpy mood when I posted, but I really meant it as a funny post, ala BikeSnob, but I guess it wasn't. i will leave that to the pros.

    The "it will break" was implied but not explicitly stated.

    Also, ashtabula cranks usually take a bb that is different than other standards. I might be wrong on this though.

    Also, describing a "hello kitty" as "urban assault" just begs for smart ass comments.

    But yes, it will break.

    And you will look just as goofy as the guys on my sig. video.
    not banned anymore

  14. #14
    *****es love tarck kemmer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wroomwroomoops View Post

    But all in all, aren't you a bit too harsh? The "it will break" argument is the most disheartening to me, but yours aren't discouraging me all that much. Maybe #6.
    Number 6 ain't no thing. MTBs have two feet of seatpost most of the time. Seatpost is lighter than frame tubing anyway. The cranks are a bit of a problem, you can't just throw any old UN72 in there ya know. Like abeyance said, there's an adapter BB deal available so you can do it. When I say "it will break" I only mean it will break easier than a quality bike. If you start doing 4' drops on it, it won't last long. If you just want to beat it up a little, it should be fine. It just depends on how much you want to abuse it.

  15. #15
    partly metal, partly real sp00ki's Avatar
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    not to sound dickish, but it looks 1) heavy, and 2) inefficient.
    it could be a fun project, but expect to put in more work than you get back when riding. Think: "hi, i tied a ten pound dumbbell to my frame that i re-welded to have a looser, slower geometry. let's ride."
    save it for bike parades, imo.
    Quote Originally Posted by bonechilling View Post
    Road [racing] is one of the only sports where adult men can compete in a non-scholastic setting, so inevitably 8/10 racers are fiercely-competitive nobodies. It's fun as hell, but it's also the foremost refuge of defeated and aging jocks, turned middle-management types.

  16. #16
    Ride On!! PanPanX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wroomwroomoops View Post
    After one sheds the unnecessary macho crap: yeah, it does! Both on a bull****ting level, as well as on that endearing one. You'd be a total tool to dislike Hello Kitty!
    I really meant what I said. It's a very very cool looking bike. Riding it as an urban assault probably wouldnt be too smart, cause it looks heavy and it doesnt look like you can hop around too well with it. I think Hello Kitty is cool. The whole goth scene kind of killed the image of Hello Kitty, but nonetheless still a great character. I'm in the process of looking for some high quality Doraemon (aka ding dong) to cover my bike with. Nothing wrong with liking cartoons!

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