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Singlespeed & Fixed Gear "I still feel that variable gears are only for people over forty-five. Isn't it better to triumph by the strength of your muscles than by the artifice of a derailer? We are getting soft...As for me, give me a fixed gear!"-- Henri Desgrange (31 January 1865 - 16 August 1940)

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Old 08-20-07, 01:50 PM   #1
ChromePista
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Single Speed Bike beats Porsche Carrera 911

I was on my morning commute today on my single speed Kona Unit (42Tx17T), when a Porsche Carrera 4 (911) zoomed very close past me, crowding me into the curb on a broad boulevard. This was the 6th time this summer the same driver has done this intimidating driving maneuver, so this time I rode around the parking lot at work (a hospital), found the Porsche, and took down the plate number and description of the car. The hospital police would not do anything because it happened off hospital grounds, but they did call the city police.

A city police search of the license number showed that the culprit was a doctor at the hospital (chief of anethesiology, in fact). By this time, there were two uniformed city police as well as a three hospital police. They called this doctor in his office and had him come down to the hospital police room and gave him a good talking to. The bully arrogantly tried to defend his actions. He lied to the officers, saying he had to swerve into me this morning to avoid hitting another car (not true). One of the things he said to me later was that he would often pull up to me on my bike 4 miles from work, yet I would beat the traffic and get to the hospital before him (in his porsche). This made him mad he said, because I must be running red lights. He also said that I take up too much of the far right lane on the broad boulevard in question (also not true), so he wanted to "show me" were I should be riding (two inches from the curb apparently). He said bike riding on the street is a dangerous activity and he called me an organ donor. He tried to bargain with me, saying that he won't crowd me anymore as long as I (in turn) follow every traffic rule myself. To this I glanced at the officers and said that this (so far) is not me getting serious. Drive like that again, and I will start to get serious! That shut him up. He promised to give me plenty of room in the future. He said that when he passes me from now on, he will give me a friendly wave. I said that's fine, but don't honk.
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Old 08-20-07, 02:05 PM   #2
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Heehee. Well played. He probably felt like a 5 y/o kid who's just been caught playing with his dick in kindergarten.
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Old 08-20-07, 02:05 PM   #3
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nice man. it blows my mind a doctor would somehow justify 'scaring' someone with their car to save their life.

and what a cock-trip 'my porsche HAS to beat the bike because i paid 90 grand for this thing
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Old 08-20-07, 02:12 PM   #4
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Nothing that a nice quart of buttermilk in the windshield vents wouldn't fix. Gets so nice and curdled in the summer heat... mmmmmn.

Okay, okay that's fighting fire with fire. But then he'd have a STINKY Porsche.
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Old 08-20-07, 02:22 PM   #5
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Great story. What was the reaction of the officers when they were standing there listening to him admit that he DID use his car (a weapon) to scare you?
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Old 08-20-07, 02:23 PM   #6
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nice man. it blows my mind a doctor would somehow justify 'scaring' someone with their car to save their life.
You don't know many doctors, do you?
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Old 08-20-07, 02:23 PM   #7
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Well played. It's always nice to hear about someone NOT resorting to u-lock justice.
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Old 08-20-07, 02:28 PM   #8
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I really just want to know about the next time he sees you because I somehow feel you will not be getting a "friendly" wave.
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Old 08-20-07, 02:29 PM   #9
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Oh man, I'm glad you have A LOT more self control than I. If I had actually found the culprits car...parked...empty...in a parking lot...there's no judging what kind of antics I would have pulled.
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Old 08-20-07, 02:30 PM   #10
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I really just want to know about the next time he sees you because I somehow feel you will not be getting a "friendly" wave.
yeah I agree, this guy was pissed because you unintentionally beat him to work, but now you've called the police on him, and made him look like an idiot...something tells me he isn't quite finished with you...just be careful man.
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Old 08-20-07, 02:54 PM   #11
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I agree watch your back. Me I would have just poured sand down into the gas tank and watch his valves, carb, ect go to hell.
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Old 08-20-07, 03:05 PM   #12
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I agree watch your back. Me I would have just poured sand down into the gas tank and watch his valves, carb, ect go to hell.
Welcome to the sixth grade. Please find your seat.
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Old 08-20-07, 03:12 PM   #13
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I agree watch your back. Me I would have just poured sand down into the gas tank and watch his valves, carb, ect go to hell.
well ya' see, there's this thing called a 'fuel filter'...
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Old 08-20-07, 03:26 PM   #14
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play sand. It's extremely fine. And if a small amount can get through, well....................If not then a few gallon of syrup.
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Old 08-20-07, 03:27 PM   #15
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Heehee. Well played. He probably felt like a 5 y/o kid who's just been caught playing with his dick in kindergarten.
how does this make it through the language filter when ****, ****, ****, *****, and hoo-nanny make it through?

okay maybe the last one is okay
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Old 08-20-07, 04:25 PM   #16
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Speaking of ****, ****, ****, and *****, is there a way to turn off this feature? It's been driving me nuts (Arr!) since I joined the forum, and is much more obnoxious to me than any profanity.

/OT
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Old 08-20-07, 04:55 PM   #17
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Nothing that a nice quart of buttermilk in the windshield vents wouldn't fix. Gets so nice and curdled in the summer heat... mmmmmn.

Okay, okay that's fighting fire with fire. But then he'd have a STINKY Porsche.
better yet, shoving cookie dough in the exhuast pipe as far as you can then using a banana to push it even deeper and leave the banana in there(given you have to break it so its not sticking out of the exhaust pipe) ...haaha
Fvker wont know why his car wont start.....hahahah
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Old 08-20-07, 05:00 PM   #18
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Its good the police have this on record.
If something happens now theyll be pissed off to have to come back again to deal with Dr. ******.

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Old 08-20-07, 05:03 PM   #19
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OR, if you DONT feel like carrying around dough AND a banana, a potatoe works too...

I think he's just gonna get more pissed at you, if he was getting so upset that you beat him to work. (Red light? What red light?)
Being the ******* i am, i would've just gotten even, and left the pigs out of it...
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Old 08-20-07, 05:08 PM   #20
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"i'm not going to fall for another banana in the tail pipe"
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Old 08-20-07, 05:11 PM   #21
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Yeah, because, actually attempting to SOLVE the problem and not PERPETUATE this kind of behavior is EXACTLY what would make motorists more bold and aggressive. Not to mention the cops certainly would prefer cyclists settle disputes via middle-school vigilantism when faced with moronic drivers.
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Old 08-20-07, 05:13 PM   #22
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Old 08-20-07, 05:15 PM   #23
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It must have been fun to watch him squirm, though it sounds like he kept his smug sense of entitlement almost to the bitter end. I can't believe he actually tried to get you to say you'd obey every law before agreeing not to run you off the road anymore. I say he still deserves a little milk in the heater vents. Who says you have to choose between shenanigans and calling the cops. Just wait a couple weeks and make sure he can't pin it on you somehow.
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Old 08-20-07, 05:18 PM   #24
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If its like any other hospital, the lots are on camera. They may not see you do it but theyll have it on tape that can be reviewed.
Im not sure what the OP does for a living but im pretty sure having to pay to have the stench flushed out of the vents of a Porsche would put a nice dent in anyone's paycheck.
Find him elsewhere.
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Old 08-20-07, 05:30 PM   #25
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If its like any other hospital, the lots are on camera. They may not see you do it but theyll have it on tape that can be reviewed.
Im not sure what the OP does for a living but im pretty sure having to pay to have the stench flushed out of the vents of a Porsche would put a nice dent in anyone's paycheck.
Find him elsewhere.
You might also not want to do it while on a bike. If someone sees "some guy on a bike" messing with it, you can bet they'll blame you. OTOH, you could always say "I guess he hasn't quit ****ing with people on bikes".
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