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  1. #1
    Avatar Bandit jdeane4's Avatar
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    I puked on a Lexus!!

    So, I raced in the Broken Hearts and Bicycle Parts race last night and lost my partner(partner's race) after a bad intersection and a wrong turn. So I decided to finish solo since I couldn't reach him on his cell. So I was about a 1/2 mile from the finish and you have to climb a hill that isn't too steep, its just fairly long. The traffic in the direction I was heading there were like three lanes. I was in the far left lane (holding my lane) when this Lexus comes up behind me and starts honking. I then began to signal that I was about to turn left and the Lexus gets impatient and tries to pass me. So I almost freaked out because they nearly hit me. So as I turn my head to watch out for the car, I threw up all over the hood and windshield. It was great. I actually was laughing and puking at the same time!! I booked the hell out of there and onto a side street. But it was really worth it. I don't know why I puked. I think I may of just pushed myself too hard and had too many beers before the race. It was great though.

  2. #2
    NitroPye
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    You are my new hero.


  3. #3
    Avatar Bandit jdeane4's Avatar
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    Thank you.

  4. #4
    resident blockhead JellyMeetsJam's Avatar
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    it's funny, sometimes these anti car stories just come off as dick moves but this one is just hilarious. good job!

  5. #5
    Avatar Bandit jdeane4's Avatar
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    It wasn't even really anti-car. I swear, I didn't mean to even puke. Its just complete karma. He was an impatient @$$ and I felt like puking. The timing just happened to be right.

  6. #6
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    ^that's why it's so good.
    Quote Originally Posted by andre nickatina View Post
    the guy must have been like holy ****? this kid on a fixie is killin it without engine motors.

  7. #7
    Hello. crushkilldstroy's Avatar
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    Sweet job on drinking and riding. That's awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jacquie Phelan
    Until mountain biking came along, the bike scene was ruled by a small elite cadre of people who seemed allergic to enthusiasm.

  8. #8
    Avatar Bandit jdeane4's Avatar
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    I was actually pretty sober for the race. I just had quite a bit during the whole day and not enough to eat. So I think the beer only diet before a race wasn't good.

  9. #9
    sug
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    Oceanic 6 sug's Avatar
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    This was the most refreshing, feel-so-good puking story in my entire life.

  10. #10
    Sir Fallalot wroomwroomoops's Avatar
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    Now that driver will be resentful and hold it against all cyclists till the end of his/her days.

    Won't someone think of the car drivers' feelings!?

    A couple of years from now we'll have a thread about "where have all the oldtimers gone" or some other ****e like that, and someone will say "remember when James puked on a Lexus?" and we'll be all oldtimers and will remember.

  11. #11
    Banned.
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    i puked on my first alleycat. too many beers before hand, and i was pulling a looooooooong (but not too steep) hill up to my second to last check-point. i got almost to the top, and i must have been pushing too hard and a bit worn out, and POP goes the puke. i felt much better afterwards, and kept on going.

    so rad!

  12. #12
    Senior Member pirate's Avatar
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    the last time i was in a situation like this, i ended up yelling at some ******* in a bmw, then falling over and puking all over myself and my bike. congratulations for actually hitting your target!
    “When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark,
    When work becomes monotonous, when hope hardly seems worth having,
    Just mount a bicycle and go out for a spin down the road,
    Without thought on anything but the ride you are taking.”
    -Arthur Conan Doyle


  13. #13
    "this is not suck" j0e_bik3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jdeane4 View Post
    It wasn't even really anti-car. I swear, I didn't mean to even puke. Its just complete karma. He was an impatient @$$ and I felt like puking. The timing just happened to be right.
    was it green puke?
    did your head spin around?
    did you start babbling aramaeic incantations?
    what did the car do?


    just think about how many times you puked and it was the WRONG time!


    best thread ever
    GT road bike conversion: fixed
    Electric beach cruiser grocery bike:
    best burrito vehicle EVAR!

  14. #14
    Senior Member dddave's Avatar
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    A+

  15. #15
    Senior Member rduenas's Avatar
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    defense mechanism

  16. #16
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    The mental picture of laughing while puking makes me laugh.

    And puke.

  17. #17
    Bike Honky bottom-bracket's Avatar
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    I vomited on a passing MAX onetime when I lived in portland. Belly full of dumpstered chinese food plus long pull off a bottle of cheap bourbon . I spun around to hurl in the gutter just as the MAX came by. Pretty sure I got like four windows. It almost took my head off though....
    FGG#1756and 5,964

  18. #18
    Senior Member TimArchy's Avatar
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    Damn, the year i leave they have the best race ever. 160 people, puking on cars, people getting pants for prizes...
    Quote Originally Posted by Josh Frank
    I will derive power from their cries of despair. My crank a speedy dervish, spinning and spinning through the darkest night that anyone with the audacity to try and suck my wheel will ever see...

  19. #19
    - jabikuta's Avatar
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    : )

  20. #20
    Frozen to the Bike goofycc's Avatar
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    Awesome story. You just made my day.
    Bikes I own: Kona Unit 29er, Giant TCX0, Orbea Pepper, Scattante XRL, Leader 735TR, Specialized Rockhopper

  21. #21
    EuroJosh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TimArchy View Post
    Damn, the year i leave they have the best race ever. 160 people, puking on cars, people getting pants for prizes...
    Yea it was pretty awesome, you could have done the double header I pulled. Time trial in the morning, alley cat that night.

    Pucking on a Lexus is the icing on the cake! (By icing I mean puke and by cake I mean Lexus)
    Last edited by EuroJosh; 02-18-08 at 07:22 AM.
    T A R C K B I K E . C O M

  22. #22
    Spelling Snob Hobartlemagne's Avatar
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    Unfortunately the lexus driver is going to forget about all the honking and will tell the story
    that some cyclist just rode up and puked on the car.

    The first rule of flats is You don't talk about flats!

  23. #23
    moving target c0urt's Avatar
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    James, you are my personal hero man.

    that wins.
    how to tape your bars http://www.flickr.com/photos/89572419@N00/sets/72157629279270681/

  24. #24
    Senior Member dmac49's Avatar
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    You DA MAN. They don't come any better. Only in my wildest dreams could I do that, THANK YOU.

  25. #25
    Senior Member TimArchy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoshFrank View Post
    Yea it was pretty awesome, you could have done the double header I pulled. Time trial in the morning, alley cat that night.

    Pucking on a Lexus is the icing on the cake! (By icing I mean puke and by cake I mean Lexus)
    Did you finally get around to doing the Tundra Time Trial? On the Rossin?!?
    Quote Originally Posted by Josh Frank
    I will derive power from their cries of despair. My crank a speedy dervish, spinning and spinning through the darkest night that anyone with the audacity to try and suck my wheel will ever see...

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