peabodypride

I'm Scutched up reeght noo boot I'm gueeng tu try thees unyvey. Bork bork bork! 1991. Jooneeur yeer in heegh schuul (Nurmun Thumes 33rd & Perk Efe-a in Munhettun) I unsvered un ed, "Beeke-a messenger needed. Bork bork bork! Moost hefe-a beeke-a & luck". It ves et a phutu leb oon 16t street. Um de hur de hur de hur. I burrooed my ded's Eerooeend, buooght a lengt ooff cheeen et a herdvere-a sture-a & a Mesterluck. Mustly deleefering feelm, it sterted a cereer I vuoold nefer furget. Um de hur de hur de hur. I gredooeted tu a SS cunferseeun, zeen unuzeer beeeng inffoolenced booy zee sleek beekes ooff oozeer messengers. Um gesh dee bork, bork! I hed seferel oozeer neme-a brund fremes, boot becoose-a ooff zee teeme-a thet hes pessed & droog use-a, zee nemes iscepe-a me-a. I joost knoo zeey vere-a ixpenseefe-a & vey tuu smell. Suun I hed a Meeyeta freme-a in my seeze-a, peerl vheete-a peeent & my furst set ooff trooe-a FG vheels. Um gesh dee bork, bork! I dun't ifee remember hoo I gut it. Um de hur de hur de hur. I vurked fur seferel cumpuneees, muny teemes I vurked fur 2 cumpuneees et a teeme-a. I mede-a lueds ooff cesh, must ooff vheech I drunk & smuked. Bork bork bork! I ves humeless fur a teeme-a, sleepeeng oon soobvey treeens veet my beeke-a lucked tu a pule-a inseede-a zee treeen, beg steell strepped oon, hooggeeng it leeke-a a peelloo. Muny teemes my sloomber ves interroopted by treeen persunnel noodgeeng me-a leeke-a, "hey, booddy. Bork bork bork! It's zee lest stup. Yuoo hefe-a tu get ooffff". Zeere-a vesn't cell phunes leeke-a noo, joost pegers & zee "neeckel treeck" (yuoo'd insert a qooerter intu a peyphune-a, press zee lefer sleeghtly unteel yuoo heerd a cleeck, zee qooerter vuoold drup oooot & yuoo'd zeen insert a neeckel & meke-a zee cell. I knoo ifery peyphune-a in Munhettun thet thees treeck vurked oon). Zee vhule-a test tu becume-a a messenger ves, zee deespetcher vuoold esk yuoo un eddress leeke-a, "vhere's 1 Deghemmerskjuld Pleza?" Iff yuoo unsvered currectly, yuoo vere-a hured. Bork bork bork! Thuse-a vere-a guud teemes. Um gesh dee bork, bork! I steell sumeteemes vunt tu gu beck tu beeeng a messenger. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! It ves oone-a ooff zee oonly geegs vhere-a, fresh oooot ooff jeeel, yuoo cuoold get hured besed oon yuoor knooledge-a ooff zee ceety, zeen ixcel becoose-a ooff yuoor speed & leekebility. Bork bork bork! Zeere-a vere-a prugrems oon lucel TF feetooreeng messengers, heeghlighting thet it's oone-a ooff zee must dungeruoos jubs in zee ceety, yet ve're-a nut cufered by insoorunce-a. Zeey heeghlighted zee deefffferent beekers thet verekeelled in zee leene-a ooff dooty, celleeng fur a "Messengers Uneeun" (is zeere-a oone-a noo?) I lufed beeeng a messenger. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! I seloote-a thuse-a ooff yuoo vhu puoond it oooot ifery dey. Bork bork bork! Reede-a seffe-a.




bork bork bork!

BrooklynTrack

Yo i cant stop crying

huerro

Awesome!

Siu Blue Wind

Wow. That took some time to write.

Understanding

this brings me tears of joy.

yonderboy

Zeere-a ves thees oone-a teeme-a thet I vurked es a suoox cheff in a funcy restoorunt. It ves herd, boot zee pey ves guud. Oone-a dey, zee heed cheff qooeet. Zeey bruooght in thees noo cheff frum Svedee thet ves sooppused tu be-a zee best cheff in zee cuoontry. Hees restoorunt vun a Meechelin ster.

Su my furst teeme-a I met zee gooy, he-a bruke-a oooot zee cleefer. Beffure-a I knoo it, he-a ves chuppeeng zee heeds ooffff ooff pengooeens und telleeng me-a tu sootee-a zeem veet erruspuk. He-a ves a reel bell-booster.

Zeen oone-a neeght, I bruke-a my cheeen, run intu a ceble-a ecruss zee MOoP und creshed. I'fe-a beee in a vheelcheur ifer seence-a. Et leest I hefe-a Zeepps.
Bork Bork Bork!

Supreme