A Day With Mayonnaise
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Let me tell you what I did yesterday. We’ve had some crappy cold weather here the past few days, but yesterday, and today too, are glorious. I took the day off work and loaded the car with all my tools and repair stand and went down to work to give all the employees free bike tune ups. I want to get more people on their bikes and save them a few bucks, and the closest bike shop is run by an 80 year old fat assed harridan that treats her guys like **** so I definitely wanted to take money out of her pocket anyway I could, Village Cycle on Wells, my brothers. I’m fixing all the bikes, grooving to the tunes I brought (Can You Dig It boxed set, pricey but freaking great). Ironically, where I set up shop was were the smokers come on their breaks, certainly the Moody Bible Freaks would say that’s where the important work gets done. Anyhoo, a bike messenger stops for a delivery in the building and my stand is free so I motion him over, toss her in the stand, and do a quick check while he’s dropping off his paper, how he stopped with those brakes I'll never know. I figure this is the kind of guy I want reading “fixed gear” so when he comes back I give him a copy and quite spontaneously I tell him to spread the word over the radio that I’m here for another hour giving free tune ups. Word goes out and soon I’ve got a steady stream of guys coming for check ups. Quick once over, copy of “fixed gear” and they’re off. It was a blast working on the different bikes. One guy comes up and his checking me out, saying he put motor oil on his chain last night and needed something better. Tri-Flow or Phil’s Tenacious I asked, got him set and then I handed him a copy of the book and he said he already had one, now how the hell did he get a copy so fast? And come to think of it, his chain looked brand new. Made me wonder, that’s all. Damn near all the messengers had the bags with the seat belt clip, can’t remember the name. A woman came by and saw the excitement and, rather brashly, asked if I could look at her bikes, let me say she wasn’t Catholic, she wasn't Jewish, she wasn’t Muslim, and she wasn’t Hindu, she believed only in herself, if you catch my drift. I told her to bring them over. She brought two new, hardly ridden mountain bikes. The bikes were two years old, I’d come to find out and I can guaran-f’ing-tee I ride more in a week than the total miles on both those bikes. I’m sorry, but this pisses me off, two great bikes that don’t get used, and never will. She wanted them ready yesterday and was irritated that I was giving priority to the messengers, but I was cool and told her to come back at two thirty. I’m doing this all for free for the employees and the messengers so when woman off the street stops by, I’m not expecting any cash instead I rehearsed my line for her when she came back which went like this “for you there’s no charge today, but by accepting these bikes you are now obligated to do something nice for a stranger before the sun sets and when they thank you tell them to do something nice for someone else” She comes back right on time and loads up her bikes and I’m waiting for my intro, waiting for her to say how much do I owe you. I could have waited all day because nothing was coming. Not even a thank you. All day I’m fixing bikes for working people, trying to save them money and this woman, in expensive clothes, expensive bikes, expensive address and she showed no sign of gratitude whatsoever. Hey, I did it for free, I don’t care about the money, but her, with her sense of entitlement, broke the chain of goodwill I was making, a chance for the world to be just a little better. I’d like to be a better person, more able to let stuff like this go, but I’m not Mother Theresa, and I know this woman’s bikes intimately, and if I ever see them parked on the street I’m going to remove the valve cores, and if I see her riding...we’ll, I’ll think of something. This part of the day ends here, but there’s another, major part I left out until I get the pictures so I can post them. I will not allow this woman to have the last word. For part two, if any of you internet jockeys can find an article on the Lost Boys of Sudan, please post it here.
Last edited by Mayonnaise; 04-15-04 at 11:50 PM.
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Damn, that sounds like a fun way to pass a day. Too bad some people show no appreciation for such deeds.
I live on a fairly busy bicycle traffic street, just a few blocks away from the Mississippi trail system. I am planing on setting up this room off of my deck as my new bicycle repair room, and hang a sign off of my fence whenever I am in there. Doing the same sort of stuff, free tune up, air, etc. it would probably be a nice way to meet people.
I live on a fairly busy bicycle traffic street, just a few blocks away from the Mississippi trail system. I am planing on setting up this room off of my deck as my new bicycle repair room, and hang a sign off of my fence whenever I am in there. Doing the same sort of stuff, free tune up, air, etc. it would probably be a nice way to meet people.
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Nice! I'm actually going to be doing the same thing in a weekend or two for all my friends. Luckily enough, most of them ride bikes all summer long and if it's still warm. However, most of them also don't know how to tune up a bike so instead of them all going down to ****ty bike shops and getting charged up the arse, I'm doing it all for free on one of these glorious afternoons. Hopefully the weather holds up here in Chicago for a little bit.
Props.
Props.
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Originally Posted by Mayonnaise
All day I’m fixing bikes for working people, trying to save them money and this woman, in expensive clothes, expensive bikes, expensive address and she showed no sign of gratitude whatsoever. Hey, I did it for free, I don’t care about the money, but her, with her sense of entitlement, broke the chain of goodwill I was making, a chance for the world to be just a little better.
If you are lucky she won't find a reason to sue you.
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Originally Posted by ephemeralskin
"let me say she wasn’t Christian, she wasn’t Muslim, and she wasn’t Hindu, if you catch my drift"
anti-semitism?
anti-semitism?
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Originally Posted by Mayonnaise
"let me say she wasn’t Christian, she wasn’t Muslim, and she wasn’t Hindu, if you catch my drift"
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Originally Posted by 165-48:17
Wow...you must have read a different version where Mayo dons a Swastika arm band and starts breaking her car windows. I missed that excerpt
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yeah...i didn't catch that the first time around...i read that sentence twice to try to figure out what he was getting at, but i must say, that drift breezed right over my head. i just figured he meant someone who was rather well-to-do, and somewhat lazy from reading the rest of the context. now that i think about it...WTF? that's just not cool. she could've been bhuddist though...or an atheist, or an agnostic...oh oh oh!! maybe she was a member of the church of universal life?
let's try to make adbot sell us some nazi paraphenalia.
let's try to make adbot sell us some nazi paraphenalia.
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Originally Posted by Schiek
Innuendo, brother. When things are left open to interpretation, not all of the interpreters will agree. I saw it the same way e.skin did. Mayo likes his caricatures and stereotypes, y'know?
Sorry for jumping the gun E.Skin. We are all entitled to our opinions. My bad
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As long as we are working on inferences:
Let's say, and I will "say it," let's say that she was Jewish. Based on that assumption, I might also assume that she may be operating as one on a Kabbutz (sp?) and that all of us are in a community where we share and maybe saying "thanks" is not necessarily expected, but implied; and so we all can get off our high horses and have a drink?
Let's say, and I will "say it," let's say that she was Jewish. Based on that assumption, I might also assume that she may be operating as one on a Kabbutz (sp?) and that all of us are in a community where we share and maybe saying "thanks" is not necessarily expected, but implied; and so we all can get off our high horses and have a drink?
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What concerns me more than the potential for anti-sematism, anti-buddhist, anti-unitarians, or anti-whatever in Mayonnaise's message is the possibility that not enough people are anti-VillageCycleCenters on Wells. That place is an insult to bike shops everywhere and I encourage all Chicagoans to boycott.
absntr - free bike tune-ups sounds like a good time. if you need it I can bring myself & a giant bottle of citrus degreaser.
absntr - free bike tune-ups sounds like a good time. if you need it I can bring myself & a giant bottle of citrus degreaser.
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Originally Posted by stickerguy
What concerns me more than the potential for anti-sematism, anti-buddhist, anti-unitarians, or anti-whatever in Mayonnaise's message is the possibility that not enough people are anti-VillageCycleCenters on Wells. That place is an insult to bike shops everywhere and I encourage all Chicagoans to boycott.
absntr - free bike tune-ups sounds like a good time. if you need it I can bring myself & a giant bottle of citrus degreaser.
absntr - free bike tune-ups sounds like a good time. if you need it I can bring myself & a giant bottle of citrus degreaser.
Here! Here!
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Originally Posted by skitbraviking
As long as we are working on inferences:
Let's say, and I will "say it," let's say that she was Jewish. Based on that assumption, I might also assume that she may be operating as one on a Kabbutz (sp?) and that all of us are in a community where we share and maybe saying "thanks" is not necessarily expected, but implied; and so we all can get off our high horses and have a drink?
Let's say, and I will "say it," let's say that she was Jewish. Based on that assumption, I might also assume that she may be operating as one on a Kabbutz (sp?) and that all of us are in a community where we share and maybe saying "thanks" is not necessarily expected, but implied; and so we all can get off our high horses and have a drink?
delete, delete, delete....
Never mind.
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a wise man once said you can't be racist, bigoted, etc., so long as you hate everyone equally. And I do, hate everyone, equally.
Except you. You're cool
Except you. You're cool
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Originally Posted by Schiek
This is pretty much where the "chain of goodwill" broke for me, Mayo. Keep my money. Keep your book, too.
I'm just thinking it's a way to describe.
We've all been through this before with Koffe Brown on one of Mayo's previous stories.
Is this any different than that?
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Originally Posted by ephemeralskin
hmmm typical responses from the fanboy apologists
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Originally Posted by ephemeralskin
hmmm typical responses from the fanboy apologists. but none from mayo yet...
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Originally Posted by 165-48:17
Way to do what you are so opposed to based on the direction this thread has taken. Not anti-semitism, but prejudice.
you need to develop a more complicated understanding of both racism and prejudice.
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Originally Posted by ephemeralskin
???
you need to develop a more complicated understanding of both racism and prejudice.
you need to develop a more complicated understanding of both racism and prejudice.
https://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionar...nary&va=racism
https://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionar...y&va=prejudice
read the latter, and consider the secondary definition and what you said and let me know if we need to continue this offline. This would best be finished via PM.
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Originally Posted by William Karsten
Have you read the responses to other stories by Mayo that have been posted here?