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Singlespeed & Fixed Gear "I still feel that variable gears are only for people over forty-five. Isn't it better to triumph by the strength of your muscles than by the artifice of a derailer? We are getting soft...As for me, give me a fixed gear!"-- Henri Desgrange (31 January 1865 - 16 August 1940)

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Old 03-03-09, 12:10 AM   #1
dervish
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hilarious

worthy of another posting even if it has been up here before

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3210/...1e22d968_o.jpg

i found this hilarious
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Old 03-03-09, 12:42 AM   #2
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thats great. that made my night.
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Old 03-03-09, 12:43 AM   #3
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that was really funny. it made my night
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Old 03-03-09, 12:44 AM   #4
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Lol
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Old 03-03-09, 12:44 AM   #5
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funny.
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Old 03-03-09, 12:51 AM   #6
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HAHA, sounds like some of my friends....or me for that matter. Hipster emo ****** bags don't throw punches round here though
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Old 03-03-09, 01:13 AM   #7
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"oozing machismo"
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Old 03-03-09, 01:21 AM   #8
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That's good stuff. Thanks for that!
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Old 03-03-09, 01:36 AM   #9
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Old 03-03-09, 02:15 AM   #10
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I hope that's not true...
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Old 03-03-09, 07:53 AM   #11
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I hope it is true! that was awesome!
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Old 03-03-09, 08:01 AM   #12
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Venom AND Slayer?!?! That kid's lucky to be alive! With name drops like that I'm suprised Man-dude didn't rip his throat out. Throw Judas Priest into the mix like that and the Kid is lucky he didn't get sodomized.

But punching a man in the forehead? What that Kid thought to accomplish by punching a grown-ass man in a place where force is distributed evenly around the cranium, I'll never know. Maybe cold-clocking that guy 3 inches to the side of the forehead would have yielded better results?

Funz.
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Old 03-03-09, 08:16 AM   #13
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I fail to believe that any man who acts like that runs his own company. The kid was out of line for hitting him, and probably deserved to get smacked a LITTLE, but the "man" was WAYYYYY more out of line. Hopefully that kid got the guy's license plate number, I feel a little less safe knowing there's someone like that driving around.

Also, Priest, Venom and Slayer? In 2009? Seriously?
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Old 03-03-09, 08:20 AM   #14
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i would like to know if that kid thought it would hurt him, or if he has really bad aim.
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Old 03-03-09, 08:29 AM   #15
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I fail to believe that any man who acts like that runs his own company. The kid was out of line for hitting him, and probably deserved to get smacked a LITTLE, but the "man" was WAYYYYY more out of line. Hopefully that kid got the guy's license plate number, I feel a little less safe knowing there's someone like that driving around.
Huh? If you punch somebody, it's on. Esp if it's true this kid ran the light, he isn't going to get a lick of help from the cops after instigating the fight, so he'd better keep that plate number to himself. And I used to work for the kind of guy who'd kick the snot out of someone if he had been the one running the light. Plenty of people fail at life but succeed at business.
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Old 03-03-09, 08:39 AM   #16
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I fail to believe that any man who acts like that runs his own company. The kid was out of line for hitting him, and probably deserved to get smacked a LITTLE, but the "man" was WAYYYYY more out of line. Hopefully that kid got the guy's license plate number, I feel a little less safe knowing there's someone like that driving around.
Also, Priest, Venom and Slayer? In 2009? Seriously?
Im feeling the same way, about the guy on the bike.
__________________
You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

Last edited by ilikebikes; 03-03-09 at 03:51 PM.
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Old 03-03-09, 08:50 AM   #17
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I feelm the same way, about the guy on the bike.
Werd. The guy in the car didn't start the fight.
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Old 03-03-09, 09:03 AM   #18
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if some kid punched me in the forehead, he is getting his ass kicked. and i don't fight. but if you start one, i will be obliged to help you get a smackin'.
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Old 03-03-09, 09:10 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by mickey_ View Post
I fail to believe that any man who acts like that runs his own company. The kid was out of line for hitting him, and probably deserved to get smacked a LITTLE, but the "man" was WAYYYYY more out of line. Hopefully that kid got the guy's license plate number, I feel a little less safe knowing there's someone like that driving around.

Also, Priest, Venom and Slayer? In 2009? Seriously?
Sounds like the idiot kid messed with the wrong guy to me.
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Old 03-03-09, 09:10 AM   #20
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I feelm the same way, about the guy on the bike.
Really?

Some skinny wimp probably riding around at 10mph who might flail at you with his fists after crashing into you isn't all that scary.

Someone who says "learn this lesson kid, I'm superior because I AM OPERATING A COMBUSTIBLE ENGINE VEHICLE MADE OF STEEL. Car wins over bike" is a problem. Especially if they think they're macho because they have "hair to their ass" and listen to slayer and venom (seriously, VENOM???) and basically beat up the equivalent of a 13 year old.

It was kind of funny for a bit, but then it just got pathetic and sad
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Old 03-03-09, 09:20 AM   #21
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this kinda macho bull**** is how "cool, beat your ass, make fun of 'hipster kid' on the internet dude", provoking a second meeting, gets shot by an obviously irrational thinking angry bikeless child.

it's pretty obvious this is a story of not one but two idiot *******s. one who punches people in the forehead, and one who validates his insecurities (that he doesn't have, right) over the internet.

anyone agreeing with machismo man must have a complex of their own... a bigger man would have left the already ****ed up kid alone- especially if he's making it sound like HE read Nietzsche and understood it, hahaha

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Old 03-03-09, 09:31 AM   #22
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so because i think it was a valid reason to beat the **** out of the kid because he A) ran a red and hits a car, causing $700+ in damage B) proceeds to yell, blaming the driver of the car, who was driving through a green light intersection and had the right of way C) Punches the man in the head and then shoulder after he offers to help you and call an ambulance. i have a complex?

the man was provoked and the kid deserved a beating. did he go to far, by smashing his iPhone and jumping on his bag, yes. But that does not negate the fact that the story was funny, or the kid got himself into a fight he could not compete in.

if i have a complex, for believing the man was sudo in his right to fight the kid, then you need to come of you white high horse and take a look back at yourself.
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Old 03-03-09, 09:32 AM   #23
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There had to be a better way to post this than a giant jpeg.
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Old 03-03-09, 09:36 AM   #24
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so because i think it was a valid reason to beat the **** out of the kid because he A) ran a red and hits a car, causing $700+ in damage B) proceeds to yell, blaming the driver of the car, who was driving through a green light intersection and had the right of way C) Punches the man in the head and then shoulder after he offers to help you and call an ambulance. i have a complex?
N.B. All this is according to the driver. I've been called a "fcking idiot" by drivers for banging on their window while they right hook me as well. You're going to take the word of someone who states he is automatically superior over a cyclist because he's driving a car? That's interesting....

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But that does not negate the fact that the story was funny
It got pretty pathetic how many times the guy had to justify his own toughness.

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if i have a complex, for believing the man was sudo in his right to fight the kid, then you need to come of you white high horse and take a look back at yourself.
Does not follow.
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Old 03-03-09, 09:37 AM   #25
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i found it online, not the original ad, but the text. here it is:

liberdade 32 points 3 months ago[+] (3 children)
liberdade 32 points 3 months ago[-]
To The Hipster Who Slammed His Bicycle Into My Car - 28 (Hipsterville) Reply to: pers-925630332@craigslist.org [?] Date: 2008-11-19, 12:57PM EST
Yesterday, about 11;30 am in Bushwick, about two blocks from the Halsey street stop on the L.
So here I am minding my own business, driving back home to the Island from an appointment.
And here you come, on you “vintage” bike, with a pretty little scarf around your neck and tight adorable little girl pants, white ipod earphones firmly implanted in your ears. You are not looking around too much I assume, as you ignore the fact that YOU have a red light and proceed to do a full frontal collision with my vehicle.
****. I pull over and get out like a good Samaritan I am. Yeah it’s about lunch time and I jus drove for an hour and a half each way just to have an hour meeting and haven’t eaten since 8 am. But I’m nice like that, I get out and ask you if you are ok and if I need to start calling an ambulance.
Here’s where **** gets f-ed up. Instead of grabbing the hand I offered to help you up, you jump up and punch in the forehead. What the hell? And it just gets worse from here. You must have mistaken my utter frozen expression of amazement as weakness and proceeded to follow it up with something even dumber. You hit me AGAIN, in the shoulder this time and bust out with this line of “You ****ing white trash piece of **** you hit my bike I’m going to kick the crap out of you, you ****ing redneck”.
Now, I’m not a violent man, I’m too old for that, I’m nearing 30. I operate my own company, which is WHY I was out in the middle of the day going through your ****ty neighborhood. And kid, I used to LIVE there, which is why I took the detour to come check out what has happened to my old stomping grounds. Needless to say, you idiot Midwesterner emasculated metrosexual jerkoffs moved in and opened up a coffee shop and what used to be a goddamn CHOP SHOP. What idiot would spend time in an old car shop in the ghetto, don’t you mongoloids know anything about toxic fumes? So I was already a in a bad mood, and you just caught me at a perfect time.
So I started hitting you. A lot. And possibly kicking you, I don’t know, it got a little blurry for a bit there. And at one time I might have picked you up and tossed you against those old NYPD/NYFD call stations.
Then you started crying like a little *** hipster ***** that you are. I’m not blaming you for that, it looked like it really hurt, man. But what gives you even the slightest IDEA that a guy who has 80+ lbs on you and at least 8+ years, has long hair down to his ass, wearing a flight jacket and combat boots is going to let you hit him? You are 110 lbs MAX and 6 foot tall. I’m 5’10 and a good 180 lbs and I eat my meat and protein before hitting the gym, so I’m obviously even visually MUCH bigger then you. Is it your height, which would explain why you would punch me in the forehead (which incidentally doesn’t hurt, in case you ever grow the balls to get in a fight with a man again)? Or was in the fact that I was wearing glasses, which I looked for after they fell off in my rage of boots bouncing off your head? Next time you pick a fight, make sure it’s with one of your own kind, the self-loathing socially-awkward losers who pretend they have actually read Nietzsche and Dostoevsky and understood them (I hear they don’t actually TEACH anything other then finger-painting at art school though).
And then you, while spitting out bloody mucus (I didn’t hit you all that hard, *****, I’ve been ****ed up worse in moshpits by friends back in the day) you call to the crack dealers who were watching your beatdown to call the cops.
See there’s stupid here on two different levels. First of all, you calling for negros slinging rock on the corner to call the cops? You slow or something? Secondly, while before I was turning away and walking back to my car to go get a Cuban sammich from the place I remember not to far from years ago, now I whipped around twice as pisses and did something I almost feel bad about. I snatched the cell phone from your hand and smashed it on the sidewalk with my boot. I probably should have sold your little iphone toy and paid off my electric bill, but **** it, I’ll work an extra hour or two to make up for it, the pleasure of knowing you cant call anyone to complain is just too much fun.
And you asking the chulo walking by to help you? Not too smart either, his poor broke border-hopping ass just got here last year and then your kind move in and his rent goes up. He ain’t going to help you, idiot, he wants you OUT of his hood. But yeah, he probably does speak English, but you screaming that a Nazi is beating on you isn’t going to sway him. Nor the black brothas who are still laughing at you and watching their mid-day entertainment of cracka-on-cracka violence.
So here’s the moral of this story, you ironic-shirt wearing, rent-raising, liberal hippy Midwestern piece of **** wanna-be artist. People like me, who grew up in NYC, are and will always be able to whoop your ass. Sure, I wasn’t BORN in this city, I came here as a child from a ****ty cold war-era soviet country and grew up in the Bronx, with meanest machete-wielding blackity-black crack-heads on one side and angriest drunkest Irish skinheads on the other of me. Don’t hit a guy who offers you a hand of help, I’m going to do a ****ing jig on your skull, boy.
And learn this lesson, kid, I am superior to you not just by the virtue of my rugged good looks, oozing machismo and not living off mommy and daddy like you do, but by the fact that I AM OPERATING A COMBUSTIBLE ENGINE VEHICLE MADE OF TONS OF STEEL. Car wins over a bike, you were THIS close from me killing you, doofus.
And as a side note, what sort of idiot wears an election t-shirt after the election? Yes I know you love your precious Obama, but the dude won, no need to display your zombie-like allegiance to a candidate WEEKS after it’s over.
And if you plan on filing a police report, I already called it into my insurance company and have the claim #, you owe me $700+ in bumper replacement.
But I feel bad taking all my frustrations of the day out on you, since you need a new phone, new bike, whatever was in your messenger bag that I heard crunch when I jumped on it and have at least two broken teeth that I saw you spit out. So here’s the deal: I have a garage full of older bikes in pretty good shape (I pick them out of the trash and donate them to abandoned children charities, stuff you don’t care about). I’m willing to part with one of them so you can get to your art gallery “gig” and make a few bucks for roofies so you can **** that fat short-haired lumpy-looking vegan hipster girl at the rooftop party you’ll be attending every night this week in Williamsburg.
I’ll be at the Agnostic Front show this Sunday at the Crazy Donkey in Farmingdale (That’s on Long Island, **** exists outside of Brooklyn and LES, go look into it). I’ll throw a bike into the back of my car for ya.
Send me a pic and I’ll send you mine so we know to look for each other. Just come and say hello at the show and we’ll work it out, bro.
  • Your New Friend
P.S. I accidentally picked up an ipod too that day, which is strange because I never owned one. Bunch of crappy emo music on it, so erased it all and uploaded some Judas Priest, Venom and Slayer onto it. If you ask nicely you can have it back.
* Location: Hipsterville* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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