"Up for sale is my 2008 Bianchi Pista fixed gear bicycle. It is pretty much brand new and the envy of all the bicycle-riding crack dealers in my neighborhood (Old Fourth Ward). The sprocket has been configured to effectively act as a single speed, and, since I value tragically uncool things like stopping, a front brake has been added. In the pictures you'll also see that I've added a headlight and a taillight, because, in addition to stopping, not being run over by cars is something I enjoy. You can easily remove all the safety accoutrements and flip the wheel over and have the minimalist, super-trendy bicycle of death currently favored by hipsters everywhere. If you are a hipster and want this bike, I reserve the right to add $150 to the price and possibly mock your sneakers. Let's face it, you bought them so people like me would make fun of you. Also, I'm offering this bike at less than half of what I paid for it - you owe me.
I got this back when I was thinking about becoming a hipster, and could think of no better way to prove my worth than by donning a Chrome messenger bag and drunkenly flogging myself from pub to pub on a two-wheeled, face-down crucifix. After about 50 miles of said activity, however, I realized I was much happier being a poseur, and that I hadn't really done anything "technically" cool since the Clinton administration when I told that girl who rejected my invitation to dance, "no, you must have misunderstood me, I said 'you look fat in those pants.'""
Only $385 before the hipster tax, not a bad deal.
Why did I post this? Because you have to read it and no one can stop me.