nite train

i read this the other day

Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.

i live by rules like this, never say your sorry a sign of weakness, if you pull the gun, shoot the gun, real life rules ...

i have searched for the 8 rules before this an can not seem to find the list, can you all fill in the list of rules, or kindly point me to the list?

thanks

SuncoastChad

"The Rules" can vary from activity to activity, but the best known rules are probably "Gibbs Rules" from NCIS:

Periodically Gibbs mentions a rule. In Season 3 episode, Switch, Gibbs tells Ziva there are about 50 rules. Here are the ones we know so far:

Rule #1: Never let suspects stay together. From episode Yankee White (season 1)
Rule #1: Never screw (over) your partner. From episode Blowback (season 4)
Rule #2: Always wear gloves at a crime scene. From episode Yankee White (season 1)
Rule #3: Don't believe what you're told. Double check. From episode Yankee White (season 1)
Rule #3: Never be unreachable. From episode Deception (season 3)
Rule #4: If you have a secret, the best thing is to keep it to yourself. The second-best is to tell one other person if you must. There is no third-best. From episode Blowback (season 4)
Rule #7: Always be specific when you lie. From episode Reveille (season 1)
Rule #8: Never take anything for granted. From episode Probie (season 3)
Rule #9: Never go anywhere without a knife. From episode One Shot, One Kill (season 1), Missing (season 1) and Probie (season 3)
Rule #12: Never date a coworker. From episode Enigma (season 1) and Minimum Security (season 1)
Rule #13: Never, ever involve lawyers. From episode Collateral Damage (season 6)
Rule #15: Always work as a team. From episode Leap of Faith (season 5)
Rule #18: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission. From episode Silver War (season 3)
Rule #22: Never, ever bother Gibbs in interrogation. From episode Smoked (season 4)
Rule #23: Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live. From episode Forced Entry (season 2)
Rule #38: If it was your case, it stays your case. From episode Bounce (season 6)
Another one of Gibbs' rules which is used more often than the others, but without a number, is "Never say you're sorry, it's a sign of weakness." According to DiNozzo, another rule is "Never date a woman who eats more than you."

nite train

thanks we get NCIS here in italy and i know the gibbs rules.

there seems to be a bike specific set, i would like to know

Scrodzilla

I think you're looking for this:

https://www.velominati.com/the-rules/

Google is pretty tough to use but I somehow managed.

nuhtowel

https://www.velominati.com/the-rules/

nite train

thanks, the searching i had done was within this forum. you are correct i should have expanded my searching before asking

have a grrovy day

nuhtowel

beat me to it... sigh

carleton

The velominati rules are written by a bunch of cycling fanboys. They should not be considered anything but farce.

MrWesson

" if you pull the gun, shoot the gun, real life rules ..."

Always hated this one..

Pull the gun on a perp and as soon as he sees it drops his knife and or gun and runs like hell(happens alot).. Guess you should start shooting at a retreating man.

I know its a saying and not on you just a pet peeve... carry on.

hank0604

I get a kick out of them. I knowingly break dozens of them on a regular basis, but they're still pretty funny.

ddeadserious

I think there's some words between the words, really meaning "if you're going to pull the gun, you should be prepared to shoot it". A lot of people have the mentality that pulling a gun should enough of a deterrent to make any perp run, but a lot of people aren't actually ready to pull the trigger.

fxdgrjedi

Farce or not, a lot of people here (myself included) should adhere more strictly to rule #5. Oh and #48 too.

carleton

Most of the stuff is funny. But, some of it is offered (and often taken) seriously. I take particular objection to:

Really? This isn't SCCA. You can't just buy a fast bike like you can buy a fast car and be competitive.

Even a dog knows when to come in out of the rain. Your legs don't know if you are indoors warm and comfy or outdoors in the cold sleet. But, your skin and lungs do.

I don't mind riding in summer showers on training rides. But, not in the Fall, Winter, or Spring. Screw that.

Pfffft. So you can have all of that crap sloshing around your back inside of your jersey pockets? Whatever.

Whatever.

Do what fits best...not what looks best. Don't be the guy on the bad-ass bike limping in 30 minutes behind everyone else.


The valve cap maybe, but the washer nut is functional. It serves two important functions. 1) It keeps the valve stem from recessing into the tire when pumping a tire that has little pressure. 2) It keeps the valve stem from tap, tap, tapping the edge of the rim if it ever becomes off-center. If you've ever had this happen on a ride, it will drive you nuts. "tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap ..." for 2-3 hours.

Robofunc

I agree, you can't just buy fast. I'd also argue you can't buy fast for most SCCA events, especially autox. In racing cars, just like bikes--most of it comes down to the person riding/driving. Now drag racing is a different story--that's all about buying speed and mashing pedals.

hamfoh

I like my red valve cap I wish I had another

/confessionsthread

rithem

washer nuts suck, I prefer a piece of electrical tape right over the valve right to rim, replace when necessary. no rattle.

saddle bags are weak, if your stuff sloshes in the jersey pocket get a jersey that fits properly pockets will be tight

cold muscles know when it's cold, use embrocation. Just spent 4 hours out in the woods on the cross bike sunday here and it was in the high 20's...

just crackin really ....

I like #7, /confession/ I make sure the shorts go in the same place before every race/ride as to no mess up my crisp perfect tan line!!! my lady loves to make fun of me, I like it.

redpear

Time to rebut the rebuttal:

First off, you are not in a position to say what is offered seriously. Aside from that:

1. The "it's all about the bike" rule is not intended to mean what you think--that performance comes only from the material object, the bike. In the context of the rules (and ALL the rules, as they are cross referenced) it actually means something more along the lines of "one should never do anything or think of anything or live any other life not related to bikes."

2. I can't imagine how anyone can take this one absolutely seriously. Is it awesome to ride in bad weather? I think so. They do too. It implies a sort of passion in the sport. Using the idiom, it's like someone would be willing to do something 'rain or shine.'
Does that mean we should all go cycling in antarctica so we can all collectively be badasses? Probably not.

3. Slam your stem thing is debatable. Yes, you should do what fits. Can you achieve the proper fit and slam your stem? Generally speaking, yes you can.

4. I have personally found the washer nut to be useless. In fact, I've even seen tubes being sold without it. For MTB tires and bigger CX tires, I think it makes sense, though.

Lastly, I just want to ask what exactly is wrong with a list of rules like this just for fun? I feel like when people do things for fun, you complain about it not being serious enough, and when people take things serious, you can complain about it being too serious.

Cycling is a culture--it has been, and it will be. If you really despise and reject the culture, that is fine. But why ruin the fun for everyone else?

carleton

First off, what puts you in the position to know what is not offered seriously?

Also,

How can a person have a "personal and nostalgic connection" to something that happened before they were born?!

...and they don't even race! They are the cycling equivalent of:

redpear

I never said it should be taken seriously or not taken seriously. I just meant that you can't assume either way--it is up to the reader.

As far as I understand it, that whole site is pretty tongue-in-cheek.

In the quote you posted you have your own answer. 'In many cases...' vs. every case.

For example, maybe your dad was really into Campy and he told you as a kid (as my dad did once) that Campagnolo makes the best components money can buy. Now when I see the Campy logo I think of my dad. I don't own anything Campy these days since I am a poor student and there are better values to be made

Lastly, it's hard to say who races and who does not race. I don't know enough about them in particular to decide that, and I don't really find it relevant anyway.

Actually, you're right. I don't race either, better sell my bike and get a thruster fixie.

Jaytron

muckymucky

carleton

"Oh. My. God. He's wearing white Sidis before Easter!"



"Wait till the girls hear about this."

Santaria

You can just give me your bikes and videotape yourself riding on that shiny new thruster, kthx.

I also completely endorse Jaytron's meme and want to know if his fanclub has a newsletter. Well played General Mossad, well played indeed!

Nagrom_

My legs are hairy as f*ck...

hairnet

Shaving feels good until you make a stupid mistake and pay dearly for it.