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Thread: OW, my balls

  1. #1
    flaneur boots's Avatar
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    OW, my balls

    Hey all, long time listener, first time caller.

    While riding today with a couple of oversizes (I'm a NYC messenger), my balls began to really smart. It continued for a long while after I dropped off the heavy stuff, and eventually went mostly away, but hours later, my balls are still very tender when (ahem) handled.

    What's going on?! How long will I stay fertile?

    Some details:

    I'm 6'3", 180 lbs. I ride an IRO Mark V, 59 cm, with bullhorns. The saddle is some junk "aerodynamic" gel seat tony threw in. It says "cloud-9" on it.

    I was wearing boxers, silk longjohns, and levi 501s.

    The bike is new to me, but not that new. I've rode a few bikes over the past months without trouble. Nothing like this has happened before. Any idears whats going on? Any suggestions of how to make sure it never happens again?

  2. #2
    Beausage is Beautiful Fugazi Dave's Avatar
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    Was it actually your balls or was it general groin pain concentrated in that area? Did you feel it when you were out of the saddle too?

  3. #3
    flaneur boots's Avatar
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    It was my actual balls. I could feel the pressure when I was out of the saddle, but when I was walking it didn't hurt nearly so bad.

  4. #4
    Cornucopia of Awesomeness baxtefer's Avatar
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    I could never ride all day in 501's.

  5. #5
    Beausage is Beautiful Fugazi Dave's Avatar
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    Any chance they got dealt a smart blow in a situation where you weren't so prone to noticing immediately? I know this sounds moronic, but when you're concentrating enough on something else, even a hit in the junk may not register immediately.

  6. #6
    Traffic shark
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    Your mom told you that would happen if you kept doing that. And look at what you got now; sore balls and a bunch of heavy stuff you can't carry. Tisk tisk tisk.
    Regards,
    William
    For the SD Crowd

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    View from the handle bars:
    sdcyclist.blogspot.com

  7. #7
    old codger icithecat's Avatar
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    Does your saddle have 'the groove' in the top? If not, that plus the thickness of the 501s seam could be the issue.

  8. #8
    SoCal Commuter DanO220's Avatar
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    Seriously folks: Lance Armstrong thought he had cycling induced discomfort and swelling only to find out he was suffering from testicular cancer - one hell of an unfortunate coincidence that nearly cost him his life. If the aching lasts for more than a few days see a doctor. DanO

  9. #9
    Bow$$ dustinlikewhat's Avatar
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    I pretty much wear carhartts all the time, when I ride in them, oooh boy the pain and tenderness! a budy of mine suggested wearing padded bike shorts under them, anyone done this? does it help?

    I wonder if they'll ever make bikehartts, get it! bike instead of car! HAHA! ooh I kill me! yeah, I'm a dumbass..

  10. #10
    nothing: lasts forever ink1373's Avatar
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    buy a brooks.

    i'd go with a black professional to match.

  11. #11
    無くなった HereNT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dustinlikewhat
    I pretty much wear carhartts all the time, when I ride in them, oooh boy the pain and tenderness! a budy of mine suggested wearing padded bike shorts under them, anyone done this? does it help?

    I wonder if they'll ever make bikehartts, get it! bike instead of car! HAHA! ooh I kill me! yeah, I'm a dumbass..
    That's my main riding outfit. Seems OK to me.

  12. #12
    Senior Member loaf's Avatar
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    you ummm, may need to release your demons... if you get my drift.

  13. #13
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
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    prolly your handlebars are in a low "racing" position.

    In cases like that, load on the lower back (usual spot for messenger bags) will place more load on the hips...and guess whats also sees that weight load due to posture, your taint, and possibly your...jewels.

    One answer is to wear the bag higher (at the cost of your back though), or get a saddle that doesnt pinch down there when your loaded down.

  14. #14
    Night Falls dirtydan's Avatar
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    check the angle of your saddle.

  15. #15
    jerk-for-hire
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    Quote Originally Posted by ink1373
    buy a brooks.
    screw that

  16. #16
    Insomniac djbrod's Avatar
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    I vote for seat angle. That's what fixed it for me. The only difference is mine went numb! Now that's scary stuff...

  17. #17
    nothing: lasts forever ink1373's Avatar
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    boo hoo, better to kill a cow and use it forever than to buy a chunk of plastic every 6 months.

  18. #18
    troglodyte ryan_c's Avatar
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    Yeah, seems like the vegan lifestyle can lead to surprisingly poor ecological practices.
    That's why I don't eat meat but wear cows on my feet.

    ...or something like that.

  19. #19
    Beausage is Beautiful Fugazi Dave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ink1373
    boo hoo, better to kill a cow and use it forever than to buy a chunk of plastic every 6 months.
    You know...a Brooks isn't everybody's cup of tea. I ride on a Performance Forté Pro SLX and love it. Before that rode a Fizik Pavé for a couple years and still have it around for whatever bike I build next. You don't "buy a chunk of plastic every six months." A good saddle of any kind will last you a long time. A Brooks saddle isn't necessarily the end all be all of cycling ass-support, whatever you tell yourself.

  20. #20
    nothing: lasts forever ink1373's Avatar
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    ...thanks dave, but this guy's balls still hurt.

  21. #21
    無くなった HereNT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fugazi Dave
    A Brooks saddle isn't necessarily the end all be all of cycling ass-support, whatever you tell yourself.
    Agreed. But I really like mine now that I took a dremel to it

  22. #22
    Beausage is Beautiful Fugazi Dave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ink1373
    ...thanks dave, but this guy's balls still hurt.
    Never do I deny this man's testicular discomfort. The definition of treason should include words to the effect of "ignoring another man's ball suffering." I'm just saying a Brooks doesn't necessarily solve sh*t.

  23. #23
    nothing: lasts forever ink1373's Avatar
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    write a poem about it.

  24. #24
    Beausage is Beautiful Fugazi Dave's Avatar
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    Brooks, the Holy Grail?
    Somehow I doubt this

    I do not deny the excellence
    Though in my chamber I reflect
    And I see the folly in raising
    One component up too high

    Does any one thing
    Ever solve all our woes?
    Absolutely not
    Though we tell oursleves this

    This man's gonads
    Enveloped in suffering
    Will not be healed
    With but a new saddle

  25. #25
    Team Beer Cynikal's Avatar
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    Careful what you wish for
    I'm not one for fawning over bicycles, but I do believe that our bikes communicate with us, and what this bike is saying is, "You're an idiot." BikeSnobNYC

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