Award for best impersonation of Wyle E. Coyote:
Rancid for the parking lot restricted area yellow tape sign incident.
(subsequent award for fast parking lot exit: WK and Rancid)
Award for best ass busting:
WK for slipping on his cleats climbing up from spitting caves
Award for best pre ride fluid suggestion:
Inkdwheels for “Pimp juice” (His other suggestion was just as good to)
Award for classic bike moment:
Inkdwheels for the track stand on the cliff at Spitting caves.
Best near death (well, perhaps not that much near):
Rancid aka “Avoid being tagged at all cost”.
Best cop out:
WK for getting off at the last hill for about ½ a block.
Best method of avoid getting tagged:
WK for using the brake.
Best use of O.R.M.:
(drum roll please)
Uh.. no winner there
The damage total:
Sunburn: Back of neck, shin cuts, raspberry on leg from said cliff incident, chain slightly stretched, brake pad bent up, red dirt all over bike from getting lost on way back to ship for the last time (5 streets later I was on the right road), pedals missing paint from fixie tag in the parking garage, lotta missing rubber on rear tire.. full laundry bag of smelly @$$ clothes from 3 days of 80 degrees (That’s right East Coast folks, 80 degrees.. what was it, 10 there over the weekend??!?!?!), legs that feel like blocks of wood this morning..
Priceless is 3 days of riding with two complete strangers who gave me the good tour of their locale, kept me entertained and didn’t kill me too badly. (Fixie tag should be an Alley cat event.)
Badass is riding 3 abreast in downtown traffic and not getting honked at.
Most deserving of an A$$ kicking: Rancid for the dog comment. Just for that: Ben Harper Sucks. Still wearing your safety hat? The ceiling on that short yellow bus is pretty low.
Most humble, indebted and thankfull: WK. It’s more than words can say (and I’m a whole bunch of words usually) for the whole weekend. Really good people come few and far between, Hawaii doesn’t have any. JUST KIDDING. The whole weekend kicked @$$. (soppy voice) I say humbled because Inkdwheels and Rancid are good people, both as riders and as people in general. People like you remind me of who I’d like to be. (/soppy voice). Rancid: Ben Harper SUCKS…
Best ending to the story (aside from not getting killed, maimed, arrested or the like) is walking back on the boat in a black t-shirt with the word ASS printed across the front (Inkdwheel found one). I got stopped twice, and a few people just about fell over them selves trying to “casually glance” at the shirt. One guy caught his foot on a chain holding down one of the tow trucks and took a spill. (He probably had a little to drink too.)
I’m sure there are more stories to be relegated as time brings it up. But we won’t mention superman..