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  1. #1
    Pink Hammer Girl Kar3368's Avatar
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    Halloween Costumes for Cyclists!

    These are FUNNY! I just had to pass this along...I am sure everyone could use a good laugh
    Enjoy!


    Halloween costumes for cyclists
    By Elden "Fatty" Nelson
    As a cyclist, you are much, much better equipped for Halloween than
    the
    average person. Why? Because you already wear outrageous costumes on
    a daily
    basis.
    Think about it. Even though you are a (presumably) sane adult, you
    wear a
    shirt that would look much more at home on a superhero. You wear
    shorts that
    are much, much too tight, as if you were on your way to lead a
    jazzercize
    class. You wear a hat that belongs on an alien.
    And, to top the whole look off, you wear what sound and look like
    tap-dancing shoes.
    It's no wonder, then, that cyclists tend to be pretty lazy about
    dressing up
    for Halloween parties. Instead of putting time and money into it,
    you just
    show up in the outfit you rode to the party in. Hey, why not? A
    little sweat
    completes the effect, right?
    What you don't realize, though, is that all your friends, family and
    co-workers are rolling their eyes at your lack of
    imagination. "There goes
    Tim," they say, "pretending again that his cycling outfit is a
    Halloween
    costume."
    It doesn't have to be that way, my friend.
    By spending just a few extra minutes, you can alter your cycling
    outfit for
    the evening, making it so you're not just "a cyclist" at the party,
    but a
    very particular sort of cyclist. Simply follow these easy
    instructions.
    Doping Cyclist: Dress up in full pro kit. Use a marker to draw
    needle tracks
    up and down one arm. Tie a length of surgical tubing above one elbow
    and
    leave a syringe sticking out of your vein. Wheel around an IV tower
    for the
    duration of the party. Stuff your jersey pockets with bottles of
    drugs. When
    anyone asks what / who you are, respond that you are a professional
    cyclist.
    When they ask what all the needles and drugs are for, say you have
    no idea
    what they're talking about. No matter what, do not admit you have any
    drug-related items on hand.
    Mountain Biker (If You're normally a Roadie): Prepare for the party
    by
    gaining 10Kg and getting 20-30 tattoos. Wear baggy pants -- baggy
    enough
    that they keep falling down. Arrive drunk at the party and continue
    to drink
    once you get there. Insist you have mad skillz.
    Roadie (If You're normally a Mountain Biker): Prepare for the party
    by
    putting a stick in your butt. Wear uncomfortably tight cycling
    clothes for
    the party, drink nothing put thrice-filtered water and tell everyone
    exactly
    how many calories and fat everything they're eating contains.
    Triathlete: Don't come to the party, because you've only done four
    workouts
    today and still need to get in one more and you don't want to break
    training, no matter what.
    Recreational Cyclist: Wear street clothes with your right pant leg
    cuff
    completely greasy and shredded. Wear a bike helmet backwards and
    cocked to
    one side. Tell people that you're starting to bike again to get back
    in
    shape.
    Commuter: Wear street clothes, but carry a backpack or messenger bag
    full of
    what are clearly stinky bike clothes the entire evening. Make your
    helmet
    hair extremely obvious. Keep looking for opportunities to casually
    introduce
    the fact that you are a bike commuter into every single conversation
    in
    which you participate.
    Fixie / Track Cyclist: Dress the same as a road cyclist, but you
    must always
    either keep walking or -- if you must stay in one place -- you must
    trackstand by moving a couple inches forward, then back, then
    forward and
    back again.
    See? Easy, effective, and totally transformational. Nobody will
    recognize
    you. Better start preparing that "Best Costume" acceptance speech now
    "Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching."--Jim Stovall

  2. #2
    Climbing better scvroadie's Avatar
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    I like the one about the roadie dressing up and acting like a mountainbiker. Party on!!!!!!!!

    If Karen wore something that had no pink in it, none of us would recognize her.

  3. #3
    hello roadfix's Avatar
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    Funny.....as a matter of fact I attended a Halloween party a couple of year ago in a full roadie kit.

  4. #4
    Pedal pusher... alicestrong's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadfix View Post
    Funny.....as a matter of fact I attended a Halloween party a couple of year ago in a full roadie kit.
    That must have been an expensive costume...much cheaper to go as a rec rider or a commuter...
    May you live long, live strong, and live happy!

  5. #5
    hello roadfix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alicestrong View Post
    That must have been an expensive costume...much cheaper to go as a rec rider or a commuter...
    It was, actually. I haven't worn them since....
    Last edited by roadfix; 10-26-07 at 11:54 AM.

  6. #6
    Banned. Mr. Beanz's Avatar
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    Funny!

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