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  1. #1
    no more nellie
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    WARNING - Performance Bike shorts/tights are see through...as in all the junk...

    Okay, some of you may not care, but it was brought to my attention recently that my Performance brand bike shorts and the new Performance brand pair of capris that I was wearing yesterday (which were very comfy, might I add) are see through. REALLY transparent...all in display...them dimples on my ass never looked more 3D. Got it?

    Now, being female and given that the chamois covers more so on me, my exposure is limited to the buttage. Not so for you boys. Thing is, I noticed (without providing names) that several men on here on several different rides over the last year who wear those shorts are suffering the same fate as I am. You can see "everything," guys. Not that I'm trying to check out anyone's package or junk in yo' trunk, and normally "blurries" on the married butts keep my eyes averted, but I can't help it if the sun shines just right and the "top tubes" are visible. And don't get me started on who has a mole where, okay?

    I'm throwing my Performance brand shorts/tights/capris away and investing in more decent cycling attire. You guys do as you will. But you've been aptly warned.
    Last edited by merider1; 11-12-07 at 07:37 PM.

  2. #2
    Mooninite shakeNbake's Avatar
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    Not really. My 2 year old performance shorts are the thickest that I have. Maybe it depends on the model?

    Or the paleness of one's behind?

  3. #3
    Spinning like a gerbel spingineer's Avatar
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    hmmm ... interesting. Ya know, this is very timely. Performance has 10% off all shorts, and they happen to be Performance shorts. I was really close to buying some, but I refrained. Thanks for the warning, ME. Instead, I got some $10 MTB clipless pedals ... now all I gotta do is get some MTB shoes ...
    I'm in it to finish it.

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  4. #4
    Senior Member VanceMac's Avatar
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    What is this, the Twilight Zone? This is like Go Fast warning the girls on the beach that they should cover up to prevent UV damage.

  5. #5
    Dolce far niente bigbossman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by merider1 View Post
    Okay, some of you may not care, but it was brought to my attention recently that my Performance band bike shorts and the new Performance brand pair of capris that I was wearing yesterday (which were very comfy, might I add) are see through. REALLY transparent...all in display...them dimples on my ass never looked more 3D. Got it?
    OK - which one of you knuckleheads spoiled everything and told her?
    "Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin, itís the triumphant twang of a bedspring."

    S. J. Perelman

  6. #6
    no more nellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by shakeNbake View Post
    Not really. My 2 year old performance shorts are the thickest that I have. Maybe it depends on the model?

    Or the paleness of one's behind?
    Well, here are the shorts and tights I speak of:

    http://www.performancebike.com/shop/...tegory_ID=1120

    http://www.performancebike.com/shop/...tegory_ID=1221


    And if you do not believe me, trust me, OTHERS brought it to my attention and commented on the "scenery" they had noticed on the various men as well.

  7. #7
    hello roadfix's Avatar
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    I have nothing to show so it's not a problem for me anyway, but are my Performance Ultras translucent enough to see through when I'm in it?

  8. #8
    Queen of France Indolent58's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VanceMac View Post
    What is this, the Twilight Zone? This is like Go Fast warning the girls on the beach that they should cover up to prevent UV damage.
    I was about to say..

    But really Performance make a lot of different shorts/bibs, some very lightweight and some very heavyweight. It also depends on how old/washed/worn the shorts are. The TMI problem is not unique to one brand.

  9. #9
    no more nellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigbossman View Post
    OK - which one of you knuckleheads spoiled everything and told her?
    I'll have you know that I said I'm throwing out the shorts. I never said I'm getting rid of those incredibly comfortable capris. People will just have to stare at my voluptious white moon when I wear those in the future.

  10. #10
    no more nellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadfix View Post
    I have nothing to show so it's not a problem for me anyway, but are my Performance Ultras translucent enough to see through?
    George, stop weinie-bagging.

    Yes, the ultras are super sheer.

  11. #11
    Queen of France Indolent58's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by merider1 View Post
    Well, here are the shorts and tights I speak of:

    http://www.performancebike.com/shop/...tegory_ID=1120

    http://www.performancebike.com/shop/...tegory_ID=1221


    And if you do not believe me, trust me, OTHERS brought it to my attention and commented on the "scenery" they had noticed on the various men as well.
    I don't think Performance Ultra's are very see-through at all. Performance can't be resonsible for your vivid imagination.

  12. #12
    Senior Member cyclezealot's Avatar
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    Performance products come with varying prices. Bottom of the line just might be see through.

  13. #13
    no more nellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indolent58 View Post
    I don't think Performance Ultra's are very see-through at all. Performance can't be resonsible for your vivid imagination.
    Um...I liked that white t'shirt you had tucked into those ultras you were wearing yesterday. I could see the stiching on the t-shirt vividly and it is well made.

    [Tracie, if you are reading, buy him new shorts! I'm NOT checking your husband out, but honey, there is only so much eye-averting one can do on the bike without having wheels come into contact. ]

  14. #14
    hello roadfix's Avatar
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    I'm going to start wearing my camo cargo shorts instead.

  15. #15
    no more nellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclezealot View Post
    Performance products come with varying prices. Bottom of the line just might be see through.
    Are you in France right now?

  16. #16
    no more nellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadfix View Post
    I'm going to start wearing my camo cargo shorts instead.
    Well...guys...um...


    ...see. Here's the thing. All of you boys look damn good (blurries and all). So, I'm not complaining. You all have cyclist butts and all. But I just thought you'd want to know. I did and some people leveled with me. It can get little bit personal and...um...informational... when you can see through the shorts of the person you are drafting.

    I just thought you'd like to know, but now I've embarrassed myself.

  17. #17
    Queen of France Indolent58's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by merider1 View Post
    Um...I liked that white t'shirt you had tucked into those ultras you were wearing yesterday. I could see the stiching on the t-shirt vividly and it is well made.

    [Tracie, if you are reading, buy him new shorts! I'm NOT checking your husband out, but honey, there is only so much eye-averting one can do on the bike without having wheels come into contact. ]
    Well since you apparently didn't notice the leopard-spotted thong I was wearing, this still must be all in your head. And BTW, my faith in your blurry vision has been seriously shaken.

  18. #18
    ROAD enthusiast revolator's Avatar
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    Don't believe you?

    Quote Originally Posted by merider1 View Post
    are see through. REALLY transparent...all in display...them dimples on my ass never looked more 3D
    - Absolutely not
    - Don't believe you
    - Can't be
    - Impossible!

    Only way I could possibly believe is is If I saw undoctored pictures ( high def preferrable) with my own eyes.

    The more pictures the more believable ...

  19. #19
    Senior Member
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    I've got many pairs of Ultras, including one set of their bibs, and haven't heard any comments from anyone about this. It's pretty much guaranteed that our 13 year old daughter would have said "ewwww, Dad!" if she saw anything. So maybe the ones I have are not as bad.

    Sheldon
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  20. #20
    no more nellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indolent58 View Post
    Well since you apparently didn't notice the leopard-spotted thong I was wearing, this still must be all in your head. And BTW, my faith in your blurry vision has been seriously shaken.


    Hey, it was windy yesterday, okay! The blurries kept being blown to the left and the right.

  21. #21
    no more nellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by revolator View Post
    - Absolutely not
    - Don't believe you
    - Can't be
    - Impossible!

    Only way I could possibly believe is is If I saw undoctored pictures ( high def preferrable) with my own eyes.

    The more pictures the more believable ...
    Trust me...it ain't purty.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indolent58 View Post
    Well since you apparently didn't notice the leopard-spotted thong I was wearing, this still must be all in your head.
    That's a trick question. Your thongs had tiger stripes, not leopard spots.

  23. #23
    Mooninite shakeNbake's Avatar
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    Obligatory:



    And I have the Ultra bibs, they're not see thru at all (or my dong is not huge enough). I think merider has a strong imagination.

  24. #24
    no more nellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by shakeNbake View Post
    Obligatory:



    Oh...it's worse than that...

  25. #25
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    I have to concur with ME.

    People may think they're OK when looking in an indoor mirror while standing. But what one sees is not neccessarily the same coverage one has when bent over handlebars in the sunshine.

    Says the gal with the white shorts.

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