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Old 12-08-07, 09:29 PM   #1
Allez Oops
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Calling all dorks.

Stories of uncool things done on a bike:

1. Squealing tires and banshee laughter doing the downward spiral of the SaMo parking structures, late at night. Then, eating shyte at level two. Standing up all affronted, and looking around to make sure no one else witnessed it. Then laughing again.

2. Getting bogged down in the sand in the beach in Venice in the wee hours. Toppling over. Seemed sensible at the time. Then, watching my little brother do a fabulous circus-monkey backflip off his roommate's motor bike, and sticking the landing. Much hilarity ensued.

3. Popping two flats riding down the wood-plank "handicap access" ramp at the SaMo beach.

4. Death Valley Dumb-Assedness. Straying from the pavement whilst ogling the off-piste scenery. Boom. Ouch. LOL. Yes, I suck.

5. Repressed memory: sticking my foot into the spokes of my big brother's bike while riding on the handle bars, in a misguided attempt to slow down. Oh, we slowed down, all right. Right into the drainage ditch. Still got the cool old-school scars on the big toe.

Next?

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Old 12-08-07, 11:37 PM   #2
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I didn't see a curb around Lake Casitas, nearly went over the bars...dissed the rear wheel and all other sorts of crap
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Old 12-09-07, 12:37 AM   #3
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Stupidest mistake, not sure about dorky, just stupid! I had a worn tire on the rear of my roadie. Was planing to do a ride thru Chino Hills and return thru Carbon Canyon. LBS was out of Conti's so I figured one more day, one more ride wouldn't hurt.

Returning thru the north side of Carbon Canyon I hit the tight switchbacks at about 30 mph while catching up to a few cars. On the sharpest turn my rear tire blew. Maybe cause it was a very hot day and the pavement was nice shiny black with new tar. I fishtailed several times but managed to keep upright with some help from a pedal whack of my achilles. I made my way over the line and into oncoming traffic. Great, going headon with a Chevy Tahoe. I aimed towards the hillside figuring it would hurt less to dive over the side than hit a truck. Driver managed to make a safe stop while I headed towards the edge but somehow found myself regaining control. CLOSE ONE!

I found myslef standing in the middle of the road with a tacoed rear wheel. I carried my bike to the side. A couple of the drivers asked if I was ok, yup, sure. Not sure if they could see my knees shaking. I swear I was this far from whizzing my bike shorts!

Last time I was stupid enough to do some fast dowhill descending with a worn tire!
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Old 12-09-07, 12:44 AM   #4
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Downhill drafting behind a suburban going 30+mph not thinking that it'll eventually come to a stop at the red light.... Painful lesson learned!!!
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Old 12-09-07, 01:20 AM   #5
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i love how ovo is the first to respond to a post named "Calling All Dorks"...
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Old 12-09-07, 01:46 AM   #6
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Mine came a couple of months ago. I was riding home through a smooth and relatively calm tract develpment and for no reason lost control of the bike while taking my right hand of the bar to do something I can't remember and totally ate it. Luckily my head broke my fall! Hello new helmet and thank God I was wearing one!
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Old 12-09-07, 02:31 AM   #7
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hot girls in car + redlight = me + 1st attempt of really trying to trackstand = FAILURE....
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Old 12-09-07, 04:09 AM   #8
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Good stuff, guys.

thedips' post reminded me of another one.

Circa 00:11:00 in the "Three's Company" intro.

(As an aside: Can anyone ID the locale in that clip? Who knew they even had bikes in the '70s, much less bike paths?!)

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Old 12-09-07, 04:27 AM   #9
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First real time dealing with an obstacle while on a bike...about 300 miles into my adult cycling career...a 1 gallon water bottle (the square clear plastic kind) falls off the back of a flatbed truck in the right lane of a 6 lane road ( 4 full size lanes, 2 bike lanes, double yellow line in the middle)...I think I can go nascar style and speed up and go around the bottle on the curb side...a large farm truck (tractor with 2 trailers) passes over the bottle...as I'm picking up speed the plastic water bottle squirts into the bike lane...I think I can still beat it towards the curb and speed up...doing about 20mph now...a gust of wind from the west blows the bottle directly into my path...I panic, slam on the brakes, and crunch the water bottle with my front tire...hit it with the front tire, front tire locks up...I fall over into the right tire track of the right thru lane, think "oh **** my bike" then "oh **** there's a car coming" and crawl into the gutter to avoid getting run over

Lesson learned...when a hazard may be present...slow down, don't try to go nascar style on it
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Old 12-09-07, 05:27 AM   #10
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I usually belt out classical songs and other such music while biking. It's great when going downhill and on flats, but going uphill it goes something like, "weil auf...*huff puff* miiiiii*huff*iiiir du dunkles *puff* au...oh fahgettaboutit." It's really good vocal strength training though, so I don't care if the pedestrians near me are freaked out when I sing sustained high notes while passing them.
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Old 12-09-07, 06:03 AM   #11
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Two stories:

First:
Hugging shoulder of construction zone, chunk of road was missing, ended up in the dirt and tangled in one of those instant-plastic fences. Not the slightest of injury except my pride, couple cars saw the whole thing.

In hindsight, there was no reason to be that close to the construction, I practically had the lane to myself. Foolish beginner me.


Second:
I fell on a completely empty road because I was afraid of traffic while pulling off of the shoulder...

Actually there was a parked van on the other side of the road, he asked if I was ok, which I replied "yes", then promptly laid in the grass groaning in pain for a good 5 minutes.

Then I rode the rest of the way home bleeding from face/arm/leg (Guess that removes some of the dorky from the accident).



Now that I got those out of the way, I've been avoiding moments of humiliation.
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Old 12-09-07, 08:02 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by Allez Oops View Post
Good stuff, guys.

thedips' post reminded me of another one.

Circa 00:11:00 in the "Three's Company" intro.

(As an aside: Can anyone ID the locale in that clip? Who knew they even had bikes in the '70s, much less bike paths?!)
The South Bay bike path between Santa Monica Pier and Venice.

Next question, who is the chick that diverted Jack's attention?

Last edited by thomson; 12-09-07 at 09:04 AM.
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Old 12-09-07, 08:21 AM   #13
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i love how ovo is the first to respond to a post named "Calling All Dorks"...

stop
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Old 12-09-07, 08:37 AM   #14
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I may or may not have made a few wrong turns in more than one event.
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Old 12-09-07, 08:45 AM   #15
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I usually belt out classical songs and other such music while biking. It's great when going downhill and on flats, but going uphill it goes something like, "weil auf...*huff puff* miiiiii*huff*iiiir du dunkles *puff* au...oh fahgettaboutit." It's really good vocal strength training though, so I don't care if the pedestrians near me are freaked out when I sing sustained high notes while passing them.

Ah good...I'm not the only one that's been caught singing on my bike! But you reminded me of a couple years back when I would be trying to practice the tenor part of Messiah during my runs at Mission Bay. I think it sounded JUST like that!! Plus it was made more challenging by being more of a natural baritone than tenor.
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Old 12-09-07, 08:58 AM   #16
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I usually belt out classical songs and other such music while biking. It's great when going downhill and on flats, but going uphill it goes something like, "weil auf...*huff puff* miiiiii*huff*iiiir du dunkles *puff* au...oh fahgettaboutit." It's really good vocal strength training though, so I don't care if the pedestrians near me are freaked out when I sing sustained high notes while passing them.
A little OT but how did the concert go last night, Nekohime?

Great thread. I really enjoyed seeing that Three's Company clip. If I find out who the passing chic was do I get a prize, Thomson? A donut maybe?

But me? No. I have never done anything dorky on a bike...
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Old 12-09-07, 09:08 AM   #17
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A little OT but how did the concert go last night, Nekohime?

Great thread. I really enjoyed seeing that Three's Company clip. If I find out who the passing chic was do I get a prize, Thomson? A donut maybe?

But me? No. I have never done anything dorky on a bike...
Yes, a doughnut awaits you with the correct answer. Want a hint?
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Old 12-09-07, 09:13 AM   #18
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Yes, a doughnut awaits you with the correct answer. Want a hint?

Sure...
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Old 12-09-07, 09:16 AM   #19
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The gait is distinctively hers.

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Old 12-09-07, 09:56 AM   #20
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Not really ON the bike, but I have left my front wheel leaning against my rear bumper after loading the bike onto the roof only to drive 1 hour home and find that the wheel is missing!
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Old 12-09-07, 10:23 AM   #21
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A little OT but how did the concert go last night, Nekohime?

Great thread. I really enjoyed seeing that Three's Company clip. If I find out who the passing chic was do I get a prize, Thomson? A donut maybe?

But me? No. I have never done anything dorky on a bike...
Great! Royce Hall was almost full, like, only a couple of seats left. Getting a standing ovation from 1500+ people in the audience=priceless.
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Old 12-09-07, 10:27 AM   #22
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I used to have a 1 bolt carbon seat post. The seat clamp attached to the seat post with just one 2 inch bolt, I weigh about 205. One day while I was climbing and only doing 8 mph, the bolt broke and somehow I was able to stay upright.

Now here's the really dorky part...
I really liked the seat-post's super light weight and it matched my fork, stem, and handle bars. So I ended up talking to a local mechanic who told me that there was nothing wrong with a single bolt design and that people had been riding them forever without mishap. So I got a replacement bolt and rode the thing for another year.

So I'm riding down a hill on a quiet 4 lane hwy, doing about 30 mph and I'm about to be overtaken by a pickup truck. Bam!, my seat-post bolt breaks again without warning dumping my butt over the back of the bike. I'm not thinking, I'm just trying to stay upright because I know I'm going pretty fast. My hands are on the top of the bars and I can't reach the brakes, and I go shooting off in front of this truck. The truck driver, God bless him, is really sharp and he does some kind of a spin to keep from hitting me. I go flying across all four lanes before I slow enough to reach my brakes. Luckily there were no other cars around. There was maybe a micro second where I could have decided to crash rather than try to stay upright, but mostly it was pure reaction.

The truck driver gave me a ride home, and I bought the nice two bolt seat-post I should have gotten a year before.

STeve

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Old 12-09-07, 03:00 PM   #23
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hot girls in car + redlight = me + 1st attempt of really trying to trackstand = FAILURE....
been there, done that, got the t shirt.

other than that i've never done anything royally stupid. knock on wood.
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Old 12-09-07, 03:51 PM   #24
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Now that I got those out of the way, I've been avoiding moments of humiliation.
not as far i as i can tell.
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Old 12-10-07, 12:03 AM   #25
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I'm thinking, "great, another thread I have nothing to contribute to", then this happens today.

Eight of us are ridding on Sierra Madre coming home after our weekly training ride up Azusa Canyon and East Fork and down GMR. There's not much traffic and we're coming up on a 4-way stop sign that we more or less typically roll through. A car is making a right turn from the side street to the left to go the opposite direction, so no interference there so we don't pay much attention. We get 5 yards from the intersection before we realize the car is a police cruiser. "Cop", someone yells -loud enough for the cop, with his window open, to hear. The two guys in front go from 15+ to 0 in 2 yards, the next two guys completely lock em up fishtailing sideways into the front two guys and the next two other guys fly around either side of the chaos while trying to brake before hitting the "white line". I'm in the back watching the cop and the mess with plenty of time to stop. No one actually crashes, though there's bikes pointed in every direction and guys are hanging on to each other trying to keep from falling over. Everyone looks at the cop with that "we did look like we intended to stop, right?" look. He's laughing and shaking his head and waving us to keep going. I think we made his day.
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