My fiance and I have been spending more time on the tandem lately after almost a year of riding our solo bikes. Something happened and she's not ready to get back on her bike yet, but has no problem getting on the tandem. I ride a lot more than she does and my style has changed quite a bit. By no means am I a true "Spinner" but I prefer a much higher cadence than she does. Currently our cranksets are in phase and they are both the same size. I understand that identical size cranks are probably not ideal since I am 5'10" and she is 4'10", but a new stoker crankset is a fairly large investment for a tandem that I paid $150 for with a total investement of around $200 with new bars and a saddle and things. She taps me on the shoulder and tells me I'm just pulling her feet around the pedals and she can't help me at that speed. I end up bumping it up a gear or two or slowing down to get to a more comfortable cadence for her at the expense of my knees and thighs. I know that's not good for me, but I'd much rather her enjoy the ride than have me be a Jerk and say something dumb like "It's my way cause I'm the captain" and have her not want to ride at all. Is there something I can do to help? Would it benefit her to find a pace in between hers and mine and try to help her work up to a higher cadence? Would setting the cranks out of phase help? Does she need shorter crank arms? I know I became less of a masher by putting miles on my solo bike, but at this point she's not ready to get back onto hers. thanks for any advice.