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Tandem Cycling A bicycle built for two. Want to find out more about this wonderful world of tandems? Check out this forum to talk with other tandem enthusiasts. Captains and stokers welcome!

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Old 12-08-09, 01:27 PM   #1
Ka_Jun
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Pedal away from riding relationship?

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09342/1019099-436.stm

Quote:
Cat's Call: Pedal away from riding relationship
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
By Catherine Specter

DEAR CAT: My wife and I are avid bicyclists and we love riding together, but she can't keep up with me even when I slow down for her. I gave her an expensive bicycle built for two and she appreciated it but thought we'd look silly riding it. So I got her an alternate gift, but unbeknownst to her, I kept the tandem. A few weeks later a single neighbor friend asked me about the bike (she saw me unloading it from my truck the day I bought it), I told her the story and she asked to ride the bike with me. So we've been riding around the neighborhood. Unfortunately a nosy neighbor saw us and told my wife. My wife confronted me and, after I explained it all, she said it would be OK. I bought a new seat and handlebars for my neighbor friend (the ones that came with the bike were uncomfortable) and when my wife saw them on our credit card bill she demanded I sell the bike. I got our friend to reimburse me, but my wife still insists that I sell the bike. The trouble is I very much enjoy riding the bike with our neighbor friend. I think my wife is being unreasonable. What should I do? -- SECRET RIDER

Have a question? E-mail it to questions@catscall.com or visit Catscall.com. Want to do it the old way? Send snail mail to:
Cat's Call
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
34 Blvd. of the Allies
Pittsburgh, Pa. 15222
... and follow Cat on Twitter at CATSPECTER!

DEAR SECRET: Did you buy the seat and handlebars at the idiot store? For your sake I hope they have a good return policy. A few things to consider ... 1.) Hiding your burgeoning friendship is just plain wrong -- and sketchy. 2.) Why did you secretly keep the bike (and start riding it with another woman) without telling your wife? 3. ) The "nosy" neighbor who ratted on you is no nosier than a single female neighbor who asks to ride a tandem bike with another woman's husband. You know full well your wife isn't unreasonable. What should you do?

Cat's Call: Sell the bike, end the friendship and hope your wife forgives you.

Read more: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09342...#ixzz0Z7wJyGCP
Read this this afternoon. Is the pilot in the right?
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Old 12-08-09, 01:36 PM   #2
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Nope....The captain is in the wrong. He is in the wrong for not telling the wife of the "harmless" cycling friendship. I am thinking there is more to this story. Hubby hides bike, hubby hides friendship......I think hubby and wife have a communication problem at the least.
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Old 12-08-09, 02:22 PM   #3
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If I take another lady on the tandem I will ALWAYS ask my wife is she OK with it.
Even with my work with the VI, I let her know first. I've always believed "Honesty is the best policy"

The world is littered with too many tragic relationships.
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Old 12-08-09, 03:40 PM   #4
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This is going to be a great thread.

Last edited by thompsonpost; 12-08-09 at 03:53 PM.
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Old 12-08-09, 03:41 PM   #5
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Agreed. There are few legitimate social reasons for keeping a tandem for riding if you're not using it to ride with your Significant Other (e.g. your kids or even perhaps a same sex racing partner....LOL).

It would be like secretly sharing rides on a motorcycle or two-seat roadster with a new female friend when your own wife doesn't want to ride in it...and then even upgrading it so that she would be more comfortable riding in it... A breach of social protocol and a seriously thoughtless show of disrespect for his wife (the tandem hater that she may be...)

Besides, the wife might get really mad and start carrying golf clubs at 2:30 AM in the morning to "rescue" him from the tandem...



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Last edited by Stray8; 12-08-09 at 03:46 PM.
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Old 12-08-09, 05:23 PM   #6
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I've had four tandem partners and they are all women, not my wife. My wife doesn't ride and has no problem with my stokers. I put a lot of miles in with my stokers, training for RAAM. As long as you're open and upfront about it I don't see a problem.
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Old 12-08-09, 05:38 PM   #7
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Kind of a shame the guys wife thinks riding a tandem makes you look silly. Is that why so many people are always pointing at us...because we look silly.

Possibly best at this point if he rides his single with his fast friends and she rides with her slow friends, with the occasional ride together looking silly on the tandem.

Life can be about compromises, she compromises by looking silly on tandem rides, while he compromises by riding slow with her on single bikes.

PK
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Old 12-08-09, 05:49 PM   #8
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Tiger Woods rides a tandem?!
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Old 12-08-09, 06:11 PM   #9
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To really make sense of this I need PICTURES of the neighbor. Lots if she's hot!
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Old 12-08-09, 06:17 PM   #10
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Tiger Woods rides a tandem?!
Maybe he rides tandem stokers.
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Old 12-08-09, 09:44 PM   #11
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Old 12-08-09, 10:15 PM   #12
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A couple of angles here.
1) He's riding with the neighbor to get back at the wife.
2) Wife's right for being upset. This could easily turn into something more than a bike riding scenario.

I've gone riding with other women, but they've all been family friends and I'm sure they would think the idea of it ever becoming more than a bike ride would be quite creepy.
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Old 12-08-09, 10:41 PM   #13
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Couple questions:

Which is more important to you, your relationship/marriage or another tandem partner?

And . . . where in the hell can you hide a tandem from your wife? In the neigbor's garage maybe?

Yes, these folks seem to have a 'communication problem' and it's not just on the tandem!
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Old 12-09-09, 07:07 AM   #14
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Sounds like a self esteem issue on the wife's part to me.
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Old 12-09-09, 02:01 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by zonatandem View Post
Couple questions:

Which is more important to you, your relationship/marriage or another tandem partner?

And . . . where in the hell can you hide a tandem from your wife? In the neigbor's garage maybe?

Yes, these folks seem to have a 'communication problem' and it's not just on the tandem!
+1000

This exemplifies the adage that a tandem will magnify your existing relationship. This magnification is not necessarily positive. This couple obviously have difficulty communicating. His legal bills will make this bike seem like a bargain. Perhaps he can find an attorney that will take the bike on trade.
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Old 12-12-09, 11:34 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ka_Jun View Post
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09342/1019099-436.stm



Read this this afternoon. Is the pilot in the right?
I say it's time to trade in the wife for one who doesn't think tademing is silly and has more faith and trust in her husband. He was riding a bike with the neighbor he was NOT playing nakid full contact golf like Tiger Woods. It's little hard to do such things while at speed on a bike. I also agree that at the very least he has a communications issue with the wife and should have been more forthcoming on keeping the bike and riding with the neighbor.
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Old 12-12-09, 11:50 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by zonatandem View Post
Couple questions:

Which is more important to you, your relationship/marriage or another tandem partner?

And . . . where in the hell can you hide a tandem from your wife? In the neigbor's garage maybe?

Yes, these folks seem to have a 'communication problem' and it's not just on the tandem!
I would think that a "good" tandem partner would be difficult to find, but finding another wife would be easier.
I think the captain is correct.
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Old 12-12-09, 12:16 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by PMK View Post
Kind of a shame the guys wife thinks riding a tandem makes you look silly. Is that why so many people are always pointing at us...because we look silly.

Possibly best at this point if he rides his single with his fast friends and she rides with her slow friends, with the occasional ride together looking silly on the tandem.

Life can be about compromises, she compromises by looking silly on tandem rides, while he compromises by riding slow with her on single bikes.

PK
A couple on a tandem only look silly if they are the sort of a couple where neither one has an individual identity of their own, and therefore wear matching kits. The sort that have one email address and share it. The sort who have one IM account, so you're never quite sure which one you're talking to...

Matching couples cause my wife and I to point and laugh.
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Old 12-12-09, 01:32 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by PlatyPius View Post
A couple on a tandem only look silly if they are the sort of a couple where neither one has an individual identity of their own, and therefore wear matching kits. The sort that have one email address and share it. The sort who have one IM account, so you're never quite sure which one you're talking to...

Matching couples cause my wife and I to point and laugh.
Well, as far as opininions that definitely is one.
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Old 12-12-09, 02:49 PM   #20
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A couple on a tandem only look silly if they are the sort of a couple where neither one has an individual identity of their own, and therefore wear matching kits. The sort who have one IM account, so you're never quite sure which one you're talking to...

Matching couples cause my wife and I to point and laugh.
Hey PlatyPius, if want a good laugh head upstate to the Midwest Tandem Rally next summer. Bet you laugh yourselves silly. Or--just go a few clicks north to Covington where my wife and I most always match. Wifey says people that don't-------have no idea what tandeming is about.

Mike in Indiana (during the summer)
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