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  1. #1
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    Tandems and Relationships

    I've often heard the statement that "whatever direction your relationship is going, a tandem will accelerate it." I like the way the idea was expressed today by Scott Martin in the "Scott's Spin" section of the RBR e-mail newsletter:

    "Then there's the tandem. When you're single it's a dandy dating vehicle. When you're partnered up, the unique communication challenges of a tandem will (a) strengthen a solid relationship, or (b) pulverize a shaky one. Either way, a good thing."

  2. #2
    Senior Member zonatandem's Avatar
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    Married 55+ years.
    Tandeming 35+ years.
    Miles TWOgether on tandems: 230,000+.
    Situation of relationship: AAA1!!!
    Attached Images Attached Images

  3. #3
    Bikaholic blamp28's Avatar
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    Cute Email I received today.

    Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus".


    It is offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado as an actual class assignment:

    A Creative Writing professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting next to his or her desk.

    As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.

    Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

    The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:

    Rebecca (PINK)
    Bill (BLUE).

    THE STORY:
    (first paragraph by Rebecca)

    At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

    (second paragraph by Bill )

    Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the
    neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign
    of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

    (Rebecca)

    He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

    ( Bill )

    Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam , felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized even poor, stupid Laurie.

    (Rebecca)

    This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

    ( Bill )

    Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. " Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of STUPID TEA? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo. I guess I've read too many Danielle Steele novels!"

    (Rebecca)

    Jerk

    ( Bill )

    Idiot!

    (Rebecca)

    SCREW YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!

    ( Bill )

    In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.


    (TEACHER)

    A+ - I really liked this one.

  4. #4
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    Our tandem really improved our relationship, especially while touring. When we used to tour on half-bikes, he carried all the gear and took naps at the top of the hills. At the end of the day I was exhausted and he was more bored than tired. It's not that I was unfit; I rode double-centuries in 12 hours. It's just that my partner was much fitter than I was. Once we got the Tango I would end the day as fresh as I started while he was worn like a rented mule. I remember leaving him lying on the side of a gravel road while I walked 1/4 mile to check out a cave; he was too tired to stroll over to it with me. He gets the workout he craves and I get to enjoy the extra speed.

    There is a downside. At some point we decided that car exhaust contains something that causes people to argue. I suppose it could be the stress of having enough cars pass us that we notice the fumes, but we're sticking with our psycho-active substance in exhaust fumes until it is proven to not exist.

    The builder who built our tandem did have one amusing story about tandems and relationships. He couldn't figure out why a couple was getting a tandem built that wouldn't fit the female. It became clear a year later when the bike was coincidentally a perfect fit for the husbands post-divorce girlfriend.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Stray8's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheHen View Post
    The builder who built our tandem did have one amusing story about tandems and relationships. He couldn't figure out why a couple was getting a tandem built that wouldn't fit the female. It became clear a year later when the bike was coincidentally a perfect fit for the husbands post-divorce girlfriend.

    Well now, that's certainly planning ahead.....




  6. #6
    pan y agua merlinextraligh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stray8 View Post
    Well now, that's certainly planning ahead.....



    Takes awhile to get a custom build delivered these days.
    You could fall off a cliff and die.
    You could get lost and die.
    You could hit a tree and die.
    OR YOU COULD STAY HOME AND FALL OFF THE COUCH AND DIE.

  7. #7
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    funny stories here.

    am looking forward to sharing positive stories myself. have to actually get out on the bike first....which is a separate matter....

    zonatandem takes the prize for most miles of smiles, that's for sure!

  8. #8
    Cycling Anarchist Trsnrtr's Avatar
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    Tomorrow is our 39th wedding anniversary and we will be riding ~40 miles with our club like we've been doing since 1983, 5 tandems ago.
    Dennis T

  9. #9
    Bikaholic blamp28's Avatar
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    We are celebrating our 7th and went for a 60 today.

  10. #10
    Senior Member mkane77g's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheHen View Post
    Once we got the Tango I would end the day as fresh as I started while he was worn like a rented mule.
    You need to pedal harder

  11. #11
    Ride more, eat less cat0020's Avatar
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    Tandem bicycle=relationship accelerator, going good or bad.. it's going to accelerate on a tandem.
    Master your environment, and you will survive just fine.
    Chances favor the prepared mind.

  12. #12
    Used to be Conspiratemus
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    Quote Originally Posted by mkane77g View Post
    You need to pedal harder
    Knew that was coming!
    "I did not know that!" -- J. Carson

  13. #13
    Formerly Gordo Grande Rip Van Winkle's Avatar
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    The women pedal? :-)
    Rip van Winkle slept for 20 years, and when he awoke, all the bikes had changed!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by mkane77g View Post
    You need to pedal harder
    I deserve that.

  15. #15
    Senior Member WebsterBikeMan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trsnrtr View Post
    Tomorrow is our 39th wedding anniversary and we will be riding ~40 miles with our club like we've been doing since 1983, 5 tandems ago.
    Tomorrow is her birthday, and we're starting out on a (self-contained) 'round lake Ontario' tour, with a 75 mile ride. Her choice of how to celebrate.

  16. #16
    Ride it like you stole it WheresWaldo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blamp28 View Post
    Cute Email I received today.
    That particular story is funny but unverifiable. It was originally found in the newsgroup rec.humor in 1997 and later was claimed by a Manitoba teacher in September 2007, although with slight differences in the details given. See newspaper article here.
    "Never use your face as a brake pad" - Jake Watson

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by WheresWaldo View Post
    That particular story is funny but unverifiable. It was originally found in the newsgroup rec.humor in 1997 and later was claimed by a Manitoba teacher in September 2007, although with slight differences in the details given. See newspaper article here.
    I also think it is funny. I forwarded the story to most of my friends and relatives. I received positive feedback from about 70% of the males and 5% of the females.

  18. #18
    Certifiable Bike "Expert"
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    Quote Originally Posted by mkane77g View Post
    You need to pedal harder
    It's not a race; pedal as hard as you want to.

    I don't even use the offensive term "Fred." -- Sheldon "All Cyclists Are My Friends" Brown (1944-2008)

  19. #19
    Bikaholic blamp28's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WheresWaldo View Post
    That particular story is funny but unverifiable. It was originally found in the newsgroup rec.humor in 1997 and later was claimed by a Manitoba teacher in September 2007, although with slight differences in the details given. See newspaper article here.
    I wasn't really looking for verification. No fact checking is neccessary on this one. It's just a funny story - probably fiction.

  20. #20
    Senior Member mkane77g's Avatar
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    It's not until there a bike in your sites. We try passing everything in our sight, be it going up or down. On the flats, no one has a chance.

  21. #21
    Used to be Conspiratemus
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    Quote Originally Posted by WheresWaldo View Post
    That particular story is funny but unverifiable. It was originally found in the newsgroup rec.humor in 1997 and later was claimed by a Manitoba teacher in September 2007, although with slight differences in the details given. See newspaper article here.
    Yes, I think everyone knew it was made up. They always are. That's why no-one commented on it till you did.
    "I did not know that!" -- J. Carson

  22. #22
    enginerd jeff^d's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rip Van Winkle View Post
    The women pedal? :-)
    My wife HATES this joke.

  23. #23
    Senior Member joe@vwvortex's Avatar
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    We bought our tandem together while we were still dating. We figured if our relationship could survive riding a tandem together - we'd make it. We were married two years later and attended the Northwest Tandem Rally as our Honeymoon :-)
    Administrator and Contributing Editor - Vortex Media Group

  24. #24
    Bikaholic blamp28's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by joe@vwvortex View Post
    We bought our tandem together while we were still dating. We figured if our relationship could survive riding a tandem together - we'd make it. We were married two years later and attended the Northwest Tandem Rally as our Honeymoon :-)
    Very cool!!

  25. #25
    Elite Rider Hermes's Avatar
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    Our tandem / riding relationship has evolved over time. We purchased a Santana tandem in 1981 so that we could ride together. She was a marathoner runner first and cyclist second. I was a cyclist first and a runner second.

    We restarted our cycling in 2006 and purchased another Santana tandem. We have been on three Santana tours all coinciding with anniversaries (happenstance) and have participated in 10 tandem time trials.

    We have evolved to racing and riding our single bikes - road, TT and track and keeping the tandem for vacations and special races or events.

    Riding together does not necessarily require a metal connection to keep the riders communicating or not. Just try racing a team time will your stoker on single bikes. Married 39 years.

    With metal connection...



    Without metal connection...


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