Ack! Need opinions on a decision!
 

I'm looking for opinions:

I've got a 4 month tour of Europe planned this summer, with flights booked and paid for, all ready to go. However, a very good friend of mine just anounced that she is getting married on the Sunshine coast (north of Vancouver) in the middle of July and she wants me there. I also have to make it to Blackrock City (near Reno, Nevada) by the end of August. My original plan was to fly home from Europe at the end of August and drive to Nevada, however, I checked the flights out, and I could re-book my return flight to make it to the wedding for $300, and then ride to Nevada from there and try to bum a ride home to Calgary with friends.

So to sum up, here are my options:

1. Skip the wedding, save 300$, stay in Europe, drive from Calgary to Nevada and back.

2. Attend the wedding, spend 300$, leave Europe early, ride from Vancouver to Nevada, bum a ride back.

If you were me, what would you prefer? Also, do you see any gaping holes plan #2? (I've got a short timeline on the decision, so I'm looking for all the quality control steps I can get...)

- Barry

I'd go with option 1, as it sounds like option 2 would lose you 4-6 weeks in Europe. How often are you going to be able to take the time off for 4 month trip in Europe.

Never change plans for a wedding, not even your own!

I agree with Kodama and Greg.

You've already planned the trip and gone through the pre-arrangements, and there is no reason to mess with that, really. It's your dream; live it.

Sadly, you'll be absent from the wedding, but think about it: Their wedding isn't going to be ruined over it (let's hope!), and it boils down to one day (albeit a special one) that would be throwing a wrench in things for you. She should understand - and if she doesn't or is deeply hurt over it, it would be a display of selfishness on her part, not yours (imo).

Use the $300 to buy 'em a really great gift. They'll forgive you for not being there. Enjoy Europe.

If she really wants you there, she'll change her plans. You've already made yours - its unreasonable for someone to expect you to change them.

Friends first!

EUROPE!!!!!! Hey, I lived in Germany for 12 years with my work and you'll kick yourself befor you come home for not staying longer! If you don't have the time of your life, you didn't try!


Tschuss! James
Viel spass!Prosit!

Drink a Lowenbrau for me! Try the dunkel!:) dark beer

IF I was the person getting married there is no way I would expect a friend to alter a carefully planned (and paid for) trip because I had decided to get married at the last minute (and would feel guilty if they did)

Your plans were there long before hers and not insignificant - I would expect a friend to understand that.

I know which I would do (then again, I am not really into weddings), but you have to just go with your gut feeling in the end.....

I agree with Dreamy on your friend's wedding seeming last minute...I too am getting married this summer and we've given everyone we know at least 1 years notice (especially since most people have to come from out of town)...personally, unless this is a lifelong friend and your absence will jeopardize that friendship, I'd stay in Europe as originally planned...

Um, do you really want advice from the internet for this? It doesn't really have anything to do with bike touring.....

My $.02.

Anna

I'm not a normal poster here on in the Touring section, but I will have to say go with the Europe idea of your trip as well. I have a handful of freinds getting married this summer some close and some not so much, but none of them would keep me home. To prove that, I am also going to be in Europe all summer :). Probably not doing any real touring because I don't have a touring bike, panniers or any of the other gear. I am going to, however, do as much biking as I can with my road bike in Germany and possibly some of the bordering countries. If you happen to be rolling through that area, more specifically Bavaria, you will have to let me know.

Wow! My wife and I didn't even know each other a year before our wedding. We met in January 1992, got engaged in August, and married in December. :)

You need to ask yourself if you would want someone to change all their plans to be at your wedding. Is it really all that important to be there on the day? Take the happy couple out for a meal or something when you get back and have a personal celebration with them. There'll be plenty of opportunity to spend time with them during their married life.

I know that I would feel guilty for a very long time if anyone had changed their overseas holiday plans just to be one of a hundred or so others that spent a few hours with us on our wedding day.

Don't sell yourself short. You bike, you travel between towns (even without gear), you tour. Simple

The old cynic in me says: Europe and forget the rest. You'll probably have another opportunity to attend their weddings in the future.

You could also do what the movie and music stars do... record a DVD and have them play it at the reception!

Forget the wedding! I think couples should elope, and not make their friends and family rearrange their schedules ... and don't get me started on the cost friends and family incur to attend a wedding!

But in order to keep your friendship, I like some of the advice given above ... get them something nice and/or take them out for dinner when you get back.

Yeah I am actually going to try to do that. Carry a normal size backpack with a few changes of clothes and some other important stuff and spend some time out on my own between villages. I know a handful of people across southern Germany who have all invited me to stay with them and maybe I can bike between each at least part of the time. I will also ride the trains from place to place sometimes when I plan on staying in the area longer and of course always bring my bike. I can't wait.

Wow, I got way more response to this thread than I expected.

Thanks for all the advice folks.

I've decided to stick to my Europe trip. The main factor being money. I can't really afford the extra cash to switch the flight, and this trip is pretty important to me and I don't really want to break it up or have to cut short 'cause I ran out of cash.

I'll celebrate their marriage when I get back.