spectastic

I'm hosting for the first time. He's a fellow countryman who also did a stint in academia, like I am now. I don't mind him crashing on my couch, and he is a good apple. But he's trying to stay in town for 5-6 more days for the SXSW, realizes that it's a long time, and is fine with trying to find a different place to live.

On one hand, he doesn't really invade my privacy, and my roommate is also pretty lenient. On the other hand, 6 days is a long time.

for the more experienced hosts out there, what's your take?

350htrr

Most of the people who stayed at our place, were here for a 1 day/night stay/visit, but stayed for 2 days/nights... But, 1 person stayed for 5 because he was broke down and waiting for parts. And for us it wasn't really a problem with people staying longer, as they stayed outside in my camper. A perfect arrangement it would seem, as they all, I mean they all loved it, they said it was like the Hilton, (we are still getting post cards from most of them, 4+ years later), and because they weren't under foot in the house, I think everyone just lived their life and did what they wanted to do, we usually just got together for supper... 6 days would seem an awful lot to me, if they were in my house.

spinnaker

Warmshowers is not a free hotel romm and should not be used as such. Six days just to stay for an event is abusing the system IMHO.

I want guests to stay for one night max. On rare occasion I would make an exception for 2.

As a guest I would never think to ask for more than a day except maybe a day each on the front and back of my tour.

axolotl

Warmshowers hosts get to make the rules for their hosting. That's how the system works. You (and in this case, your roommate, too) get to make the ultimate decision.

I've had at least 4 different warmshowers guests who stayed with me for 2 nights and who also stayed with other warmshowers hosts in my area for 2 additional nights. They were all excellent guests and they all instinctively understood what was reasonable and what was an abuse of the system.

I have a pet peeve with guests who know beforehand that they would like to stay more than one night but who don't put that in their original request.

andrewclaus

I've insisted several times that guests stay for five nights, once because of a winter storm, once because my wife and I really liked the guy and he seriously needed rest and he cooked great, once because of extreme summer heat and the guests' trip timing. In all cases they were prepared to move on after one night but we insisted and enjoyed the company.

Another time we felt we were taken advantage of, very slightly, after an arranged prolonged stay, nice folks, but no feedback on the site, just disappeared into the ether.

robow

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after 3 days.
Benjamin Franklin

FBinNY 

You beat me to it.

Yes, the guest is pushing it, and being very savvy in his approach.

By saying he gets it and is willing to seek alternative lodging, he's seized the high ground, and shifted the guilt to you. You're now supposed to say, "of course not, you can stay here the whole time".

So the ball is now in your court and it's your job to say, sorry but it's too inconvenient. Unless you'd rather not.

jefnvk

Never done warm showers, but I've stayed with/hosted acquaintances/friends-of-friends. I can't imagine more than two nights. Especially so, with a guest attending a music festival who is likely to be returning at late hours if I need to work in the morning. I can understand the aforementioned tourer waiting for parts or waiting out a storm, but not so much a planned thing to avoid having to find proper accommodations.

mev

It is really up to you.

However, fact that you are raising the question seems like you are feeling taken advantage of. As you know, SXSW is a big event in Austin that significantly raises rates for AirBnB, hotels, etc.

I would be more sympathetic if it were a situation where someone was working through a misfortune (weather, mechanical, etc) than attending a very popular event.

J.Higgins 

I say, "SURE! Stay a while. Just buy me a bottle of bourbon." Pappy Van Winkle's Family Reserve 23 Year Old Bourbon Whiskey 750ml

spinnaker

It only took you about 15 minutes.

You know I am teasing you only because I like you.

spinnaker

For this subject matter probably true but over all not entirely true. There are some guidelines listed on the website that should be followed. The most important is that the site is for guests on touring bikes. I think this is an important rule we should all follow. I have bent the rule a bit by picking up guests at the airport but they departed on bikes from my house. I have also had hosts take me to the airport at the end of a tour.

robow

At first I thought you meant it only took 15 minutes for my encyclopedic like mind and wit to pull that one up, but upon further reflection......... I realized you were referring to my ability as a guest to stink after only 15 minutes. As to that I would add, many have felt that it didn't take nearly that long, "smelled upon arrival" if you will.

spinnaker

I actually had a guest that smelled on arrival. I asked him several times if he would like to shower. He didn't take the hint. It was a pretty horrible experience.

FBinNY 

Isn't that why you have a back yard for him to pitch his tent in?

Trevtassie

Nah, that's when you go to the pub with him, have a couple of doses of truth serum and tell him, "man you stink, have a shower".....or as I once to to a WS guest "your shoes need incinerating".

Trevtassie

And yeah, the guest in question is being a dick and taking advantage of the situation.... tell them if they want to stay that long they've gotta pay their way, have a look at Air B'N'B rates around your house, whack on a small discount and charge him that...

spinnaker

At the time I really did not have an option. I was living in a townhouse and never felt comfortable having guests in my backyard because of the neighbors.


Now the new place has a very private backyard. I even have a lower section that would put a guest out of site from even me. Well not totally but close.

spinnaker

As a host you are not supposed to charge. But there is at least one B&B that I know of that has used the site to bend the rules. If you contact him via warmshowers and the B&B is empty when you roll up then you stay for free. If you want to be certain you have a room before your arrival then you need to book the B&B and pay.

FBinNY 

No need to explain or justify when I'm pulling your leg a bit.

OTOH - you may get a request from me sometime, and I'll expect a 1st class corner someplace. Hopefully, I'd be able to buy some decent beer close to you so I don't have to lug it far.

Trevtassie

As a Warmshowers guest you're not supposed to take advantage of your host.... it'll at least give the guest the message he's being a dick by putting the host in the position of being in a dilemma.

spinnaker

You are invited anytime! Actually the finished walkout basement in my new place is excellent for guests. It has its own full bath, the garage or under deck is right outside the door where you can work on your bike. The walkout basement allows you to leave early in the morning with out disturbing me.


I have a spare microwave down there but I still need to get a small table with a couple of chairs. Maybe a small fridge if I can pick up one cheap.



Beer? We have Yingling here and I always have plenty in stock but there is a distributor just a mile or so away.

spinnaker

And I might add I am very close to the Montour Trail which connects to the GAP. If you can convince my neighbor to cut through his backyard then the trail is just down the hillside behind my house.

spectastic

in a way, yea, I do feel like he's taking advantage of this situation to get free room/board. the most I've stayed was i think 3 days, and that was in a huge converted storage unit where 5-6 people lived, there was so much space that I never got in anyone's way, and it was normal for them to have a guest sleep there for weeks at a time (this was SF). Normally, 2 is my limit too, and I would offer to cook or help around the house.

I also understand the bad weather excuse, and wanting to attend a certain event is some weak excuse.

otoh, I would feel like a dick if I start charging him for his stay, so I think I'll give him 1-2 more nights, and tell him to stay somewhere else. he did scavenge a whole bunch of freebies from sxsw today though. I got back from my recovery ride to campus, and the restaurants were all closed for spring break, but i got a whole bunch of clif bars now.

maybe I'll offer more nights if he starts to offer some value in return, like cooking, which I don't like doing as a grad student.

BigAura

+1 for Ben