benajah

appreciate the advice. My wife and I have a really good understanding, and I could get away if I really wanted to but I don't think I could actually ride off. I did that once on a hiking trip...drove all the way to Yosemite, hiked in like, 4 hours, started feeling guilty (she had just found out she was pregnant and I didn't get the message until I was well up into the Sierras, via text) I packed back up, hiked back, drove 3 hours home and we celebrated that night.
I like to come off like I am still that freewheeling guy I used to be but ever since I got out of the army I just cant help but be attached to home. Not a bad thing I don't think.

rumrunn6

of course it's a good thing. without children men would continue to move on on. children in fact preserve "the family" for our species which turn preserves our whole societal structure such as schools and communities. however, you each need to maintain your individuality. her too. after the baby is born she won't be preganant any more and she won't get all the attention she is getting now. the baby will have everyone's attention including hers. there isn't enough time and I don't know enough to share but there's a whole world of stuff to learn ...

Lost again

What the heck is going on here? You will have 20+ years to spend with your kids. Don't forget to do for you and your better half. It'll make everyone involved a little more happy. Is it wrong to spend a day or two or for that matter a week or two a year away from your family? I've been married 36 years and I know that getting some time for yourself and making sure the wife gets her time is a big part of what keeps us together.

mijome07

Family 1st, bike touring 2nd. That's how I'd do it. Then again, what do I know? I'll never bring a kid into this world. Or get married.

WillJL

It sounds like your wife is not particularly "outdoorsy"... I'm guessing she's not going to be hopping on her bike and suggesting that the three of you go on an overnight or a tour anytime soon. That said, being a father shouldn't keep you from getting out and riding; you just may have to settle for day trips or single overnight camping rides until the kid is in a trailer, at which point its pretty much mom's prerogative whether or not to come along or to support such family fun.

Whether or not your wife will be supportive of you going out for a ride for a day or two is something that no one else on this forum can judge for you, but I do think its silly that so many people are criticizing your priorities. Its not as if you're the one with the breast milk. Maybe you'd do better to communicate these feelings to your wife and see what she says.

LeeG

Benajah, when I was in my 20's-30's the guys I rode with regularly became married and dads around a similar time. One thing that was eerily common amongst us was kind of an early middle aged crisis. It came with parenthood and didn't happen in my 40's. I used to live in the East Bay in the 70's -80's. If a ride from Tunnel to Pinehurst doesn't fix your cravings I'd suggest therapy or a big foam hammer for your baby to whack you on the head. First year of parenthood was the hardest year of my life.

Iowegian

In my experience the hardest part of having small children is the feeling that you are 'on call' 24/7 _all_the_time_. Getting away for the weekend would be good for you but most likely even better for mom. So give mom a weekend off before you take your adventure and all will probably be well.

HardyWeinberg

You need to give your wife at least equal time offduty.

My wife just took off for a month and I have to say it was easier to manage the kids w/ only one voice. Even though we always present them a united front, at least I was free to operate the household with my interpretation of acceptable variation around the rules. My timelines, work and play, always have more slack than hers do...