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  1. #1
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    Taking Care of Basics.

    OK, so I'm riding along a "not so empty" road out in the middle of the Great Plains somewhere and my digestive system sends out the notice that it's down to download a brown file! Unless there's some wooded area or shrubbery a guy could end up really embare-assed! Does anybody carry some sort of biker's portapotty and cover up with a rain parka? Whatta ya do?

  2. #2
    Long Distance Cyclist Machka's Avatar
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    Usually, I'm just slightly dehydrated on rides so this sort of situation has only ever happened to me once in the past 24 years of cycling.

  3. #3
    Senior Member digibud's Avatar
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    good cup of coffee in the AM with breakfast and all's well in time. Like most folks I have toilet paper with me but if I were to take off for a long stretch knowing there was no possible break... I'd probably wait before leaving until I knew I was OK to go. Never had it happen and I would never carry a port a potty or anything like that...
    Alaskans for global warming.

  4. #4
    Senior Member staehpj1's Avatar
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    It sounds like you are looking for things to worry about I have crossed the country a couple times and done other long tours and it has never been a problem. 90% of the time I even manage to use indoor facilities. I guess if you really had to you could gain some level of privacy with a poncho.

  5. #5
    Senior Member gif4445's Avatar
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    How tall is the grass? Seriously, a few years ago, on the BRAN ride through the Nebraska Sandhills, there was a guy about 25 feet off the road in the catchers position. The bluestem was about 2 1/2 feet tall so that helped. When you gotta go, you gotta go I guess.

  6. #6
    Senior Member LordMarv's Avatar
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    Plenty of long stretches out in the western/mid-western states that are without ANY trees or bushes, just low scrub...best you can hope for is a ravine or gully....and best keep your eyes peeled for rattlers while you're at it.

  7. #7
    Senior Member downtube42's Avatar
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    Emergencies can happen, and when they do vanity becomes less important than other considerations.
    What is bicycle touring?
    "So I kept looking and eventually found that a spark plug had same threads. So I cycled next two days until I got to Jackson, MS with a spark plug instead of right pedal." - mev

  8. #8
    djb
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    do we all carry Portapotties? sure we do, ever since I got my carbon fibre one, I've dropped 35lbs from my Portapotty weight alone, nothing to sneeze at!
    (its also waaay more aero than my old fibreglass one, so I no longer have those moments after high winds of finding myself in Munchkin Land)

  9. #9
    Garlic
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    Quote Originally Posted by Machka View Post
    Usually, I'm just slightly dehydrated on rides so this sort of situation has only ever happened to me once in the past 24 years of cycling.
    I've never chalked it up to dehydration, but this is my experience as well if you change "once" to "never" and add a decade. I credit the healthy daily regimen of good exercise and good eating to my absolute regularity on tour. I know I'd better have a place to go right after my breakfast of a large bowl of oats, and I'm good for the day--it never fails out there.

    Peeing is a different matter--it can get creative.

  10. #10
    apocryphal sobriquet J.C. Koto's Avatar
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    Maybe something like this:
    450.jpg

    plus this:
    traveljohn-seat.jpg

    Yep. Would not arouse any suspicion at all.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by LordMarv View Post
    Plenty of long stretches out in the western/mid-western states that are without ANY trees or bushes, just low scrub...best you can hope for is a ravine or gully....and best keep your eyes peeled for rattlers while you're at it.
    ND presented an issue for the women in my cross country group when it came to No. 1. They learned to take advantage of cover when there was some because you never knew when the next opportunity would present itself. Fortunately, traffic was very light to non-existent in many places.

    In additon to ravines and gullies, look for bridges.

  12. #12
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    If there is a drainage ditch along side the road like almost all roads have, a bike with four panniers on a kickstand in the ditch will likely provide good visual cover. If it really is an event that can't be delayed, it will likely be over in a very short time.

    And if hiding behind the bike is not practical, you probably will not know any of the people that drive past and it is unlikely that they will stop to get to know you.

  13. #13
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    OK, good info. I'm sure it's a matter that I'm too concerned about, I just don't want to leave too many stones unturned being a rookie and all.

  14. #14
    Senior Member WonderMonkey's Avatar
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    Do you happen to have a hitch on your bike?

    http://www.280dude.com/
    https://www.facebook.com/Michael.R.Henry

  15. #15
    Long Distance Cyclist Machka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louis Le Tour View Post
    OK, good info. I'm sure it's a matter that I'm too concerned about, I just don't want to leave too many stones unturned being a rookie and all.
    And turning stones is exactly what you'll have to do if the need strikes in the middle of nowhere ... turn some stones, dig a hole, squat ...

  16. #16
    imi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Machka View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Louis Le Tour View Post
    OK, good info. I'm sure it's a matter that I'm too concerned about, I just don't want to leave too many stones unturned being a rookie and all.
    And turning stones is exactly what you'll have to do if the need strikes in the middle of nowhere ... turn some stones, dig a hole, squat ...
    Yeah, but remember creepy crawly bity stingy nasty things live under rocks

  17. #17
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    I'm blessed with extreme regularity. Within a couple minutes of my first sips of morning coffee, downloading brown as you say is done for the next 24. Get between me and my hole at that moment and there will be words or a messy outcome. Otherwise it's all #2 for the rest of the day.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by WonderMonkey View Post
    Do you happen to have a hitch on your bike?
    Ha! Too funny!

  19. #19
    Senior Member saddlesores's Avatar
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    i believe this is what you're looking for:

    http://thegreensource.files.wordpres.../sdc112393.jpg

    this sorta thing happens. i was riding through henan province last summer, stopped
    for noodles at a less than sanitary road-side stand, it didn't end well.

    being china, with 1.3 gazillion people, there's not much empty space. people are
    everywhere. sure the locals just squat and poop in the rice paddies while working,
    but a 6-foot foreigner (wearing bright red jersey) would tend to attract attention.

    made it ten minutes on the bike getting desperater and desperater, with pressure
    building for a massive eruption of "ole faithful." in the end (haha), found a small
    pile (haha) of gravel, maybe 2' high, on the side of the road. set the bike on the
    kickstand, squatted, and sorta hoped any passers-by would assume i was fiddling
    with the wheels or gears.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Vintage_Cyclist's Avatar
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    Slap a tire boot on yer balloon knot until the next pit stop!

  21. #21
    coprolite fietsbob's Avatar
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    Dig a Latrine, Use your entrenching tool, soldier ..

    you dont have to lower a Kilt in those situations ..

  22. #22
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    Drop your pants and go. Fertilize the earth The corn will thank you.

    Though one time in Australia I was doing the deed in a farmers field that was a bit on the open side and some locals called the police on me after seeing my bike on the side of the road. Police 'investigated" me while I was wiping… HAHA.

  23. #23
    Long Distance Cyclist Machka's Avatar
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    Here you go ... a blog that recently appeared on the MEC site ...
    How to S#&t in the Woods? the Leave No Trace Way | MEC Blog

  24. #24
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Machka View Post
    Here you go ... a blog that recently appeared on the MEC site ...
    How to S#&t in the Woods? the Leave No Trace Way | MEC Blog
    That looks promising, thank you.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Doug64's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Machka View Post
    Here you go ... a blog that recently appeared on the MEC site ...
    How to S#&t in the Woods? the Leave No Trace Way | MEC Blog
    Good advice, and an informative site.

    In thousands of mile of touring it has never been an issue.

    Many of the mountains that I have got permits to climb require packing "it" out as a condition of the permit. It is affectionately called the "blue bag" system, even though all the bags are not blue anymore. Yep, just double bag it up and pack it out.

    The bags even come with instructions. A small amount of cat litter in each bag makes the task easier.


    While I have pictures a a lot of things, I don't have one of a blue bag in use--sorry
    Last edited by Doug64; 04-12-14 at 05:32 PM.

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