Ah, the ref missed the double dribble call...

Dear Carleton,

What is your power animal and why?

Wolverine

I'm tenacious...and gluttonous. But I have the patience of the Elephant, too.

Any tips for doing better on points races? I have pretty decent stamina, and do well in mid range races. But I cant even hold my own during the points races.

Dear Carleton,

Who's more safe to be around soccer hooligans or angry hockey fans?

- Efficiency. This comes from a good bike fit and efficient mechanics. Relax all but necessary muscles. Smooth pedaling.
- On the bike recovery. Consciously try to recover whenever you can. It's a war of attrition.
- Find shelter. Find help.
- Don't chase everything that runs.
- Pick your battles. You don't have to contest every sprint. Sit back for the first 2 sprints and let the chumps beat each other up. Find help and attack when they are tired. That's how you take a lap.
- Solo Attack: When you attack, let the sprint group lead you out. You take no points. But when they sit up, you put your head down and hold threshold. Remember: When you see Jesus you are still about 2 minutes from blacking out. Hang on.

Hockey.

But I'd feel safer in any angry soccer crowd than at any Philly sports event.

Oh, and:
- Have a plan before the race starts.
- Have a backup plan.
- Read and react is the last option.
- When in doubt...lead it out. But no matter how close you are to winning a sprint, never never pop till the last sprint.

Dear carleton,

How was your first time on the track?

Dear Carleton-
I feel the last line of one of your posts is sig worthy. May I use it?

i hope u r not srs
that polyphasic sleep thing will catch up on your ass hard.
how long have you been "doing it" ?

dear carleton, if you smoked, would it be:
http://www.tribaldiscounts.com/images/carltonusa.jpg

Our bodies are designed to sleep at least twice a day. Been doing it for years. Lots of people do it. "Power Naps" were popular in the 80's. And of course, there is Siesta.

Those cigs better be awesome.

It was pretty fun. It's the only form of bike racing where a guy my size has a chance.

Yes!

This may be some of the best life-advice I've ever heard.

Actually There are studies people who sleep the less live longer, Also people who sleep the less have the tendancy to smile more often or smile while they dream due to lucid dreaming, You also live longer with smiling.

My brother sleeps 2-5 hours daily, He's been doing it since he's 16, Granted he works alot works out more, But he is still healthy.

edit:

Dear carelton

What would your FAVORITE food be, like right now? coke or pepsi?

Dear Carleton,

The most attractive girl at my workplace is a lesbian. Is there anything I can do about this?

Dear Carleton,

You seem like a high roller... Would you recommend this method for attaching a bike to a convertible?

http://fastcache.gawkerassets.com/as...ari_bike_1.jpg

You're giving me ideas.^ :D
If you're wondering; they don't make racks for my ride.

Dear Carleton,

My bike shop of choice just hired a very attractive girl, but she doesn't really know anything about bikes. Do I go for it?

(The bike shop is actually amazing, so they probably hired her to have a babe for a cashier)

What the, I want a bike shop to hire me.

Pad Thai from Thairish in Baltimore.

Flat Coke.

Well... it depends.

If she's never been with a guy, you may be in luck if she's curious and trusts you.
If she has been with a guy, you are out of luck.

Yes. I am a high roller.

I'd try using a Saris Bones rack.

http://freespace.virgin.net/nick.roberts/rack1.jpg

dear carleton, you da man

i realize I dont really know you but dont judge me bro

Yes.

Go in. Chat. Then mention, "Hey, I'm about to go get a coffee. Want one?"

Either she'll take a break and go with you, she'll ask you to bring one back for her, or she'll be flattered that you asked. Either way, you have broken the ice.

Thanks! I won't cuz:

http://thepirata.com/wp-content/uplo..._tattoo_14.jpg

Dear Carleton
Whose ya daddy?