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  1. #1
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    Relying on others for Food

    I was going on a big complex rant about my home life but Iíll just simplify it. For various reasons I still live with my mother. Moving out isnít an option and I pay board. We have the following agreements regarding mealsÖ

    -she will prepare dinners and I fend for myself at other times. This is more convenient for both of us
    -If for some she canít prepare dinner or isnít home, she let me know in advance and I am fully capable of preparing my own.
    -We are both aiming to lose weight so healthy is the way to go
    This mostly works for both of us but more and more itís getting annoying. Cases where she wonít let me know until the last minute she isnít around or preparing unhealthy meals. It sort of got to the tipping point tonight when she replied to my message querying if she was going to be around, saying she would be home at 8pm (late) and pick up something healthy from the shop on the way as ďI needed my vegetablesĒ. I had my 2.5 cups of veges at lunch but I left that alone and decided to be patient and wait. When she does arrive however, itís with breadrolls, a BBQ and premade pasta salad with the meal idea that we would lightly toast the rolls, top with a bit of chicken and then top with pasta.

    Not vegetables, full of carbs and pasta dripping with oil. And of course she gets offended when I donít eat what she has prepared.

    So, even this ended up being long. But the short question is, how do you coexist with someone mealwise, when one of you takes changing eating habits more seriously than the other. Each cooking for themselves seems so wasteful, but it looks like itís the way to go. Are there any other options?
    I want to live.

  2. #2
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    Try talking to her? Tell her what you consider to be healthy!

  3. #3
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    Could make lots of food in one go. Cut yourself a portion then put the rest in the fridge or freezer. Saves time and money

  4. #4
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    Not to be blunt about things, but how about you just start making your own? Athletes can get very "particular" about what they eat, I know what it's like, i've been there. These days i've decided it's not worth the stress, and just eat what is available and what works for me in sensible amounts. I feel better as i'm not worrying about food all the time.

    It sounds like the only way you will be truly happy with what is put down in front of you is to make it yourself.
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  5. #5
    Its Freakin HammerTime!!! C_Heath's Avatar
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    First of all, (this is my 2 cents) this is your mother. She lets you live there. It looks like she is not hell bent on keeping it healthy as you are. Like others have said, talk to her. Dont bottle it up (like I do) and then explode on her. heheh. Its all good. Thanks for sharing, it just shows that you are normal.

    Good Luck.
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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by damnable View Post
    But the short question is, how do you coexist with someone mealwise, when one of you takes changing eating habits more seriously than the other. Each cooking for themselves seems so wasteful, but it looks like it’s the way to go. Are there any other options?
    The obvious solution is to grow up!

    You provide an example where your mother prepares food for you but it doesn't meet your precise nutritional specifications. Would it kill you to eat a smaller portion of what she prepared and skip the veggies for one night? If your primary objective is to lose weight, just eat however many calories you allocated for dinner. If mommy isn't providing enough veggies at dinner eat them for lunch instead.

  7. #7
    Each Drop of Sweat Counts
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    I feel for you. Few years ago I had a lifestyle change and went from being HUGE to being a normal sized guy. Super morbidly obese to just a normal sized guy. My wife's cooking easily supported the former lifestyle.

    It took a lot of conversations and she finally kind of came around and cooks pretty healthy for me now. The big problem still is portion size. She makes me a ton of food. I don't eat it all usually and she gets her feelings hurt.

    In the end it's me who operates the fork. If I shouldn't eat it and it doesn't support my lifestyle and I do eat it it's my fault, plain and simple.

    John

  8. #8
    Senior Member trigger's Avatar
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    Uh, make your own food. Perhaps hers too. As stated, in one or two days of cooking you can easily make enough healthy food to keep in the fridge / freezer to feed yourself (and your Mom) for a couple of weeks. Maybe you guys could team up a couple days a month on a cooking binge. That way if someone gets jammed up for time and can't make dinner you can just heat something out of the fridge or freezer.

    Also, you should keep in mind that your Mom with whatever in her day caused her to be late still cared enough about you to stop at the store and buy food for you. It would have been MUCH easier for you to take care of yourself, or, better yet, for you to step up and take care of the both of you in these instances. She's your Mom dude, not your servant, even if you do pay rent. Your attitude is a normal adolescent one and I recall having it myself, but really, it's time to deal with things like an adult.

  9. #9
    just another gosling Carbonfiberboy's Avatar
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    You should offer to cook all the dinners. And shop for them! Then you can get exactly the food you want, and be sure your mom is also getting what she wants, not just what she has time for. Time for a little payback. Sounds like cookbook time. The Moosewood series is always good. This will come in extremely handy when it's GF time. If you're old enough, you can learn a little about wine at the same time. Always comes in handy. And don't forget to consider presentation.

  10. #10
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    Carbonfiberboy nailed it. Why don't you cook? I too had to move home. I do most of the cooking for a variety of reasons. mom does the dishes. We are both happy.

  11. #11
    Long Distance Cyclist Machka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by damnable View Post
    I had my 2.5 cups of veges at lunch but I left that alone and decided to be patient and wait. When she does arrive however, it’s with breadrolls, a BBQ and premade pasta salad with the meal idea that we would lightly toast the rolls, top with a bit of chicken and then top with pasta.

    Not vegetables, full of carbs and pasta dripping with oil. And of course she gets offended when I don’t eat what she has prepared.

    So, even this ended up being long. But the short question is, how do you coexist with someone mealwise, when one of you takes changing eating habits more seriously than the other. Each cooking for themselves seems so wasteful, but it looks like it’s the way to go. Are there any other options?
    Easy!!

    Lightly toast the rolls, top with chicken, and then YOU can top YOURS with fresh tomato, cucumber, or lettuce. And if she wants the pasta salad, let her eat the pasta salad.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by damnable View Post
    I was going on a big complex rant about my home life but I’ll just simplify it. For various reasons I still live with my mother. Moving out isn’t an option and I pay board. We have the following agreements regarding meals…

    -she will prepare dinners and I fend for myself at other times. This is more convenient for both of us
    -If for some she can’t prepare dinner or isn’t home, she let me know in advance and I am fully capable of preparing my own.
    -We are both aiming to lose weight so healthy is the way to go
    This mostly works for both of us but more and more it’s getting annoying. Cases where she won’t let me know until the last minute she isn’t around or preparing unhealthy meals. It sort of got to the tipping point tonight when she replied to my message querying if she was going to be around, saying she would be home at 8pm (late) and pick up something healthy from the shop on the way as “I needed my vegetables”. I had my 2.5 cups of veges at lunch but I left that alone and decided to be patient and wait. When she does arrive however, it’s with breadrolls, a BBQ and premade pasta salad with the meal idea that we would lightly toast the rolls, top with a bit of chicken and then top with pasta.

    Not vegetables, full of carbs and pasta dripping with oil. And of course she gets offended when I don’t eat what she has prepared.

    So, even this ended up being long. But the short question is, how do you coexist with someone mealwise, when one of you takes changing eating habits more seriously than the other. Each cooking for themselves seems so wasteful, but it looks like it’s the way to go. Are there any other options?
    You do for yourself no matter what. Just because you live with your Mom doesn't mean she has to cook for you, or vice versa. If you're responsible for your own, you won't have any of those misunderstandings. Separate groceries, make your own food, and be in charge of your own nutrition and eating.

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  13. #13
    noooooooooooooooooooob! adacas's Avatar
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    I'm livin with my family and I must say their eating habits disgust me. I'm no super athlete nutritionist or nothin. I still binge eat when I'm bored...and lonely...and tired...but I try to eat well when i can. My family makes it difficult since our ideas of what constitutes as food constantly clashes. I swear my family acts like a vegetable is the anti-christ. They can't eat a piece of broccoli or corn without first drowning it in butter. If there is anything that is actually green on their plates chances are its Lime jello and even that probably has butter on it. I try to make my own meals whenever it is financially possible or when time is permitting. I've got all the ingredients I need for my yummy meals and my not so yummy but very nutritious salads that I never have to worry about them stealing lined up in plastic containers within the fridge.

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