Yeah I think the trick is not comparing where you are now to how you rode then. Tough, especially riding the same roads, but it will set you free.
Once you start doing it, you'll find you love riding all over again, and in time that desire to look back will yield to the joy of riding.
Try setting modest goals like just carving out the time to start, and I bet you find just doing that challenging, but focus on that, and not ride performance at this stage. As conditioning builds, you'll naturally refocus on the now and start comping off where you were 10 months ago, and not 10 years ago.