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Old 06-05-07, 02:11 PM   #1
Laika
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VC: New Rules

Your attention, please:

I hereby declare VC to be so broad as to encompass all and any forms of two-wheeled human-powered locomotion (and on occasion, one, three, four and no-wheeled forms as well), with exceptions that I hereby claim the sole right to define and, should the situation warrant, redefine, eliminate or contradict. I now lay first, primary and only claim to the right to arbitrarily move goalposts, lower or raise bars, change metrics, establish or eliminate standards, excommunicate or beatify devotees. The current claims in no way limit any further seizure of powers on my part, nor do they imply that I am in any way obligated to actually use these or any other future powers consistently or at all.

I further reserve the right to transfer any, all, part or some of these powers on an ad hoc, temporary or permanent basis to anyone else int he known cycling or non-cycling world at any time I deem fit.


Sorry, Helmet Head, I saw which way the wind was blowing (http://bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=306029) and I called it first. No backsies and no penny tax, sucker. VC is mine, and I am now officially the pope of VC.

My first pronouncment: VC is heretofore expanded to include dangerous, non-legal practices provided they are being used to chase down ice cream trucks. Try the chocolate dipped chocolate when you catch up. It's dreamy.
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Old 06-05-07, 02:14 PM   #2
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HEAR HEAR! Long live the pope!
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Old 06-05-07, 02:15 PM   #3
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I'd like to be the first to invite you to throw out the first pitch at the annual BF baseball tourney, your Holiness.
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Old 06-05-07, 02:17 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by chipcom
I'd like to be the first to invite you to throw out the first pitch at the annual BF baseball tourney, your Holiness.
Just make sure the honorarium is cold, frosty and six in number. I'll bring my own funny hat, thanks.
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Old 06-05-07, 02:20 PM   #5
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excommunicate or beatify devotees.
I would like to suggest that the pathway to beatification require demonstration of 3 beericles (beer + miracles) and that sins against the holy spirits require an automatic council to convene to consider excommunication.
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Old 06-05-07, 02:24 PM   #6
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I would like to suggest that the pathway to beatification require demonstration of 3 beericles (beer + miracles) and that sins against the holy spirits require an automatic council to convene to consider excommunication.
So ordered, faithful one.
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Old 06-05-07, 02:30 PM   #7
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Can we now have our VC masses in English instead of HeadSpeak? Stronger wine would be nice too...maybe a replace the incense with a little herb?
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Old 06-05-07, 02:33 PM   #8
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Don't count on much in the way of showmanship, as I intent my papacy to be largely hands-off, but services, when appropriate, will be conducted in Latin.






















(pig Latin, or course.)
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Old 06-05-07, 02:51 PM   #9
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No pidgin bra?
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
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Old 06-05-07, 02:57 PM   #10
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instead of communion wafers, can we use Nilla wafers instead? or oreos. that would hit the spot after all that herb.
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Old 06-05-07, 03:07 PM   #11
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Rando, my son, one cannot become close to the God of VC on nilla wafers, wine and herb alone...serious theologians prefer TWINKIES!!!!
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
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Old 06-05-07, 03:10 PM   #12
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ah, twinkies-- the holiest of snack cakes....
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Cyclists fare best when they recognize that there are times when acting vehicularly is not the best practice, and are flexible enough to do what is necessary as the situation warrants.--Me
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Old 06-05-07, 03:13 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laika
VC is mine, and I am now officially the pope of VC.

My first pronouncment: VC is heretofore expanded to include dangerous, non-legal practices provided they are being used to chase down ice cream trucks. Try the chocolate dipped chocolate when you catch up. It's dreamy.
How 'bout a second pronouncement, appointing Chipcom as Sergeant at Arms for dealing with VC lowlifes who question your authority?
And a third pronouncement appointing yours truly as the Duke of Decorum, to decide if any of the previous VC PooBahs have changed their spots and started spouting something worth taking seriously.
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Old 06-05-07, 03:15 PM   #14
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ooooh I'm likin' this..... I've never witness a church change hands before.
Shouldn't that be Chipcom for Sergeant of Harm?
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Old 06-05-07, 03:16 PM   #15
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OIC - I get to be a lowly ole Sarge while you get to be a Duke. I can live with that, as long as there are plenty of twinkies.
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
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Old 06-05-07, 03:19 PM   #16
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I want to be known as Our Lady of Perpetually Forgetting You're Clipped-In from now on.
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Old 06-05-07, 03:19 PM   #17
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Shouldn't this go in FOO?

There are folks here who find cycling vehicularly, rules of road, defensive driving, etc. to be very effective and all this nonsense and personal attack does nothing pro or con in regard to discussing various ways of riding in (or out) of traffic.

Al
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Old 06-05-07, 03:21 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chipcom
Rando, my son, one cannot become close to the God of VC on nilla wafers, wine and herb alone...serious theologians prefer TWINKIES!!!!
Don't forget the Nectar of the VC Gods! Only blasphemers consider wine a suitable drink for Real Cyclists
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Old 06-05-07, 03:25 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noisebeam
Shouldn't this go in FOO?

There are folks here who find cycling vehicularly, rules of road, defensive driving, etc. to be very effective and all this nonsense and personal attack does nothing pro or con in regard to discussing various ways of riding in (or out) of traffic.

Al
Only after every nutty VC theory and brand new definition posted by you know who and associated gabfest discussion by you know which counters of dancing angels!
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Old 06-05-07, 03:26 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by TRaffic Jammer
ooooh I'm likin' this..... I've never witness a church change hands before.
Shouldn't that be Chipcom for Sergeant of Harm?
That's a call for the Pope of VC.
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Old 06-05-07, 03:29 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chipcom
OIC - I get to be a lowly ole Sarge while you get to be a Duke. I can live with that, as long as there are plenty of twinkies.
OK I'm generous, I'll recommend that HH and JF be appointed the Dynamic Duo, or better, the Dukes of Hazard.
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Old 06-05-07, 03:35 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noisebeam
Shouldn't this go in FOO?

There are folks here who find cycling vehicularly, rules of road, defensive driving, etc. to be very effective and all this nonsense and personal attack does nothing pro or con in regard to discussing various ways of riding in (or out) of traffic.

Al
Second pronouncement:

Lighten up, Francis.
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Old 06-05-07, 04:03 PM   #23
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Shouldn't this go in FOO?

There are folks here who find cycling vehicularly, rules of road, defensive driving, etc. to be very effective and all this nonsense and personal attack does nothing pro or con in regard to discussing various ways of riding in (or out) of traffic.

Al
Your holiness, I found a sinner!
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Old 06-05-07, 04:16 PM   #24
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Quick, stone him! I mean, get him stoned!
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Old 06-05-07, 04:17 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KrisPistofferson
I want to be known as Our Lady of Perpetually Forgetting You're Clipped-In from now on.
Had an Arte Johnson moment, did ya, Kris?
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
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