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Winter Cycling Don't let snow and ice discourage you this winter. The key element to year-round cycling is proper attire! Check out this winter cycling forum to chat with other ice bike fanatics.

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Old 11-28-01, 01:07 PM   #1
mike
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Balaklava underwear!

Inspired by Jean Beetham Smith's suggestion to wear modified socks on your ears to keep them warm, I decided to try to flip-flop the idea by wearing headwear 'down-under'.

I took my best balaklava (like a ski mask) and cut two holes in the sides. By slipping my legs through the cut-holes, I then had an enormous vent to "facilitate in the facilities".

You fellers know what I'm talking about; when you gotta go to the toilet really bad and you are struggling like mad with all the layers of clothing when you try to access your plumbing through the elusive vents in your long underwear AND briefs.

Well, my brilliant invention "Balaklava Briefs" solves that problem. The vent is as big as your head! You can't miss.
Worn backwards, the Balaklava Briefs are great for uhm, for you know... other end stuff.

Better yet, you can still wear your balaklava on your head even after using it as underwear. The cuts you made for leg holes allow for better access of your stereophones when you wear the balaklava on your head and want to listen to music during your ride or ski.

How do YOU spell Genius? Say it with me "M-I-K-E!!

Thanks go to Jean Beetham Smith for the insiration.
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Old 11-28-01, 01:29 PM   #2
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I have a picture in my head of what this looks like. Hmmmm...pretty scary. Reminds me of some drunken fraterninty party of my youth!
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Old 11-28-01, 02:11 PM   #3
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I think you have come across something here. Now, if you can only get Performance Bike to mass produce it.
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Old 11-28-01, 03:41 PM   #4
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Oh, NOT baklava! (and here I thought this was a provocative, kinky thread on edible underwear...)
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Old 11-29-01, 12:43 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by bentrox!
Oh, NOT baklava! (and here I thought this was a provocative, kinky thread on edible underwear...)
Well, I have never heard of edible headwear, so finding an edible ski mask to convert to underwear would be a tough one.

In contrast, though, it is possible to buy edible underwear.

Maybe you could wear edible underwear on your head.

To say the very least, it would make a wonderful conversation piece - a real ice breaker at parties.

Hey, Christmas is almost here with all them thar Christmas parties. Do you suppose I could end up talking with that cute girl from engineering if I wore some edible underwear on my head at the company Christmas party? I can imagine our conversation:

"Why, yes, that IS edible underwear I am wearing on my head. How cosmopolitan of you to notice! My name is Mike. Perhaps you have seen my bicycle parked against the handicapped parking sign at work. It's the one with the Christmas lights wrapped around the water-ski rear-carrier. So... What do you do for fun?..."

I'm looking for some feedback from my BF.C buddies.

Last edited by mike; 11-29-01 at 12:47 PM.
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Old 01-12-02, 07:18 PM   #6
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It's GOT to be something in the water bottle!!
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Old 01-12-02, 07:52 PM   #7
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Hmmmm...

I don't have a balaklava.....so conversely, could I...uh...wear my underpants over my head and face on a cold day?
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Old 01-13-02, 02:48 AM   #8
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Maybe its time to re-invent the cod-piece. Im sure a fleecy high-tech version would save your dangly bits from the cold, and facilitate the call of the wild.
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Old 01-13-02, 08:04 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by mike
Worn backwards, the Balaklava Briefs are great for uhm, for you know... other end stuff.
But that means you have to decide before you ride what stuff you will need to do...
Quote:
Mike also wrote
Better yet, you can still wear your balaklava on your head even after using it as underwear.
HAHA! Just make sure you wash them/it before putting it back on your head!

But I still think youíre a genius, Mike. An inspiring one!
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Old 01-13-02, 10:16 AM   #10
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A classic thread.

Mike, you must be very proud!

feet first and onward!
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Old 01-13-02, 10:58 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by swekarl

But that means you have to decide before you ride what stuff you will need to do...

Yes, by careful diet planning, I think this becomes a minor issue.

If you drink your breakfast - face forward. Dry toast with no coffee? - yup, face backwards.
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Old 01-13-02, 10:59 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Louis
Hmmmm...

I don't have a balaklava.....so conversely, could I...uh...wear my underpants over my head and face on a cold day?
Yes, but please do post a pic!
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Old 01-13-02, 04:05 PM   #13
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I am so sorry that I only just discovered this stimulating thread!

So, do I have to cut eye-holes in my underwear, now?

:confused:

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Old 01-13-02, 04:18 PM   #14
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My Mother always made us were underwear without holes (extra holes) because "you never know when you might end up in the hospital." Mike, if you ever end up in the hosptial someone is going to get a good laugh!
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Old 01-13-02, 07:14 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pete Clark
I am so sorry that I only just discovered this stimulating thread!

So, do I have to cut eye-holes in my underwear, now?

:confused:

Remember, Pete, when wearing underwear as bicycling head gear, the racing stripe goes to the back.
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Old 01-13-02, 07:18 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by blwyn
My Mother always made us were underwear without holes (extra holes) because "you never know when you might end up in the hospital." Mike, if you ever end up in the hosptial someone is going to get a good laugh!
What a great first impression; get them lauging straight away.

Nurse: "Oh, oh, oh doctor, can I help you with the fellow with the funny underwear?

Doctor: "Sorry nurse, you'll have to wait in line."

Nurse: {..hmm shoot! Besides the groovy undies, he has some nice stems. Wonder how he got them?...**

Mike (wispering a telepathic message to the hopeful nurse) {it's the biking, ma'am. Just the biking...**

Last edited by mike; 01-13-02 at 07:24 PM.
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Old 01-13-02, 09:09 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by mike
...the racing stripe goes to the back.
:confused:

Nevermind, Mike, I'll get it through trial and error...

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Old 02-17-02, 05:24 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by mike
Inspired by Jean Beetham Smith's suggestion to wear modified socks on your ears to keep them warm, I decided to try to flip-flop the idea by wearing headwear 'down-under'.
I donít find Jeans thread with socks, but Iím happy to inform you that I tried underwear on my head yesterday! I lost my cap and wonít buy a new one this winter. But with a 15 km ride at 5įC in front of me, I knew I needed something under the helmet to keep head and ears warm. So I took my most discrete black briefs, and voilŗ, warm and quite goodlooking (at least as long as I didnít take off the helmet).
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Old 02-17-02, 08:01 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by swekarl

Iím happy to inform you that I tried underwear on my head yesterday!
Swekarl, YOU DA MAN!

You are a fashion pioneer among others who may only dream to be as great.

Keep that underwear on your head and we will keep our eyes open for you!
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Old 05-06-09, 03:11 PM   #20
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oh my, what a thread. I almost hate to join in and continue the insanity. But I'm all too curious...

Quote:
I don’t find Jeans thread with socks, but I’m happy to inform you that I tried underwear on my head yesterday! I lost my cap and won’t buy a new one this winter
You didn't mention what kind of underwear? Ladies underwear? Boxers? Briefs? But-floss? A silk lace camisole?

Come on now.. details...

Last edited by Walter; 07-05-09 at 05:38 AM. Reason: Removed advertising link
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Old 06-27-09, 05:46 PM   #21
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Fantastic that someone would ask about this seven years later... I had totally forgotten but had a good laugh rereading. Yeah, I remember now... I'm afraid I wasn't that stylish, amyflavored. Should develop the concept.

What about you, mike, are you still using your balaklava, and where?
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Old 06-27-09, 05:52 PM   #22
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Just realized I replied to a spam. Sorry about that, so many things have changed since 2002...
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Old 07-06-09, 11:58 AM   #23
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Ahhh but at least it was a funny shameless plug that was on topic even.. just perhaps a bit too old of a topic. I hoped the laugh would be worth the link and that I wasn't bending the rules too far. Sorry.
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Old 07-06-09, 05:09 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by amyflavored View Post
Ahhh but at least it was a funny shameless plug that was on topic even..
That and the fact that you bothered to check back, explain and even delete the link makes it pretty harmless and funny, yes.
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