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  1. #1
    Senior Member mike's Avatar
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    Balaklava underwear!

    Inspired by Jean Beetham Smith's suggestion to wear modified socks on your ears to keep them warm, I decided to try to flip-flop the idea by wearing headwear 'down-under'.

    I took my best balaklava (like a ski mask) and cut two holes in the sides. By slipping my legs through the cut-holes, I then had an enormous vent to "facilitate in the facilities".

    You fellers know what I'm talking about; when you gotta go to the toilet really bad and you are struggling like mad with all the layers of clothing when you try to access your plumbing through the elusive vents in your long underwear AND briefs.

    Well, my brilliant invention "Balaklava Briefs" solves that problem. The vent is as big as your head! You can't miss.
    Worn backwards, the Balaklava Briefs are great for uhm, for you know... other end stuff.

    Better yet, you can still wear your balaklava on your head even after using it as underwear. The cuts you made for leg holes allow for better access of your stereophones when you wear the balaklava on your head and want to listen to music during your ride or ski.

    How do YOU spell Genius? Say it with me "M-I-K-E!!

    Thanks go to Jean Beetham Smith for the insiration.
    Mike

  2. #2
    NCAA - DUAL CHAMPIONS! a2psyklnut's Avatar
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    I have a picture in my head of what this looks like. Hmmmm...pretty scary. Reminds me of some drunken fraterninty party of my youth!
    "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "WOW, What a Ride!" - unknown
    "Your Bike Sucks" - Sky Yaeger

  3. #3
    RAGBRAI. Need I say more? Steele-Bike's Avatar
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    I think you have come across something here. Now, if you can only get Performance Bike to mass produce it.

  4. #4
    horizontally adapted bentrox!'s Avatar
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    Oh, NOT baklava! (and here I thought this was a provocative, kinky thread on edible underwear...)
    I'll gently rise and I'll softly call
    Good night and joy be with you all.

  5. #5
    Senior Member mike's Avatar
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    Originally posted by bentrox!
    Oh, NOT baklava! (and here I thought this was a provocative, kinky thread on edible underwear...)
    Well, I have never heard of edible headwear, so finding an edible ski mask to convert to underwear would be a tough one.

    In contrast, though, it is possible to buy edible underwear.

    Maybe you could wear edible underwear on your head.

    To say the very least, it would make a wonderful conversation piece - a real ice breaker at parties.

    Hey, Christmas is almost here with all them thar Christmas parties. Do you suppose I could end up talking with that cute girl from engineering if I wore some edible underwear on my head at the company Christmas party? I can imagine our conversation:

    "Why, yes, that IS edible underwear I am wearing on my head. How cosmopolitan of you to notice! My name is Mike. Perhaps you have seen my bicycle parked against the handicapped parking sign at work. It's the one with the Christmas lights wrapped around the water-ski rear-carrier. So... What do you do for fun?..."

    I'm looking for some feedback from my BF.C buddies.
    Last edited by mike; 11-29-01 at 11:47 AM.
    Mike

  6. #6
    Member capkos's Avatar
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    It's GOT to be something in the water bottle!!
    Drink shellac. It'll kill you, but MAN, WHAT A FINISH!!

    Phil

  7. #7
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    Hmmmm...

    I don't have a balaklava.....so conversely, could I...uh...wear my underpants over my head and face on a cold day?

  8. #8
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    Maybe its time to re-invent the cod-piece. Im sure a fleecy high-tech version would save your dangly bits from the cold, and facilitate the call of the wild.

  9. #9
    Senior Member swekarl's Avatar
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    Originally posted by mike
    Worn backwards, the Balaklava Briefs are great for uhm, for you know... other end stuff.
    But that means you have to decide before you ride what stuff you will need to do...
    Mike also wrote
    Better yet, you can still wear your balaklava on your head even after using it as underwear.
    HAHA! Just make sure you wash them/it before putting it back on your head!

    But I still think youíre a genius, Mike. An inspiring one!

  10. #10
    Senior Member Nobby's Avatar
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    A classic thread.

    Mike, you must be very proud!

    feet first and onward!
    Bill (Nobby) Clark
    Edson, Alberta
    Vision R-44

  11. #11
    Senior Member mike's Avatar
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    Originally posted by swekarl

    But that means you have to decide before you ride what stuff you will need to do...

    Yes, by careful diet planning, I think this becomes a minor issue.

    If you drink your breakfast - face forward. Dry toast with no coffee? - yup, face backwards.
    Mike

  12. #12
    Senior Member mike's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Louis
    Hmmmm...

    I don't have a balaklava.....so conversely, could I...uh...wear my underpants over my head and face on a cold day?
    Yes, but please do post a pic!
    Mike

  13. #13
    Sumanitu taka owaci LittleBigMan's Avatar
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    I am so sorry that I only just discovered this stimulating thread!

    So, do I have to cut eye-holes in my underwear, now?

    :confused:

    No worries

  14. #14
    Senior Member
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    My Mother always made us were underwear without holes (extra holes) because "you never know when you might end up in the hospital." Mike, if you ever end up in the hosptial someone is going to get a good laugh!

  15. #15
    Senior Member mike's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Pete Clark
    I am so sorry that I only just discovered this stimulating thread!

    So, do I have to cut eye-holes in my underwear, now?

    :confused:

    Remember, Pete, when wearing underwear as bicycling head gear, the racing stripe goes to the back.
    Mike

  16. #16
    Senior Member mike's Avatar
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    Originally posted by blwyn
    My Mother always made us were underwear without holes (extra holes) because "you never know when you might end up in the hospital." Mike, if you ever end up in the hosptial someone is going to get a good laugh!
    What a great first impression; get them lauging straight away.

    Nurse: "Oh, oh, oh doctor, can I help you with the fellow with the funny underwear?

    Doctor: "Sorry nurse, you'll have to wait in line."

    Nurse: {..hmm shoot! Besides the groovy undies, he has some nice stems. Wonder how he got them?...**

    Mike (wispering a telepathic message to the hopeful nurse) {it's the biking, ma'am. Just the biking...**
    Last edited by mike; 01-13-02 at 06:24 PM.
    Mike

  17. #17
    Sumanitu taka owaci LittleBigMan's Avatar
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    Originally posted by mike
    ...the racing stripe goes to the back.
    :confused:

    Nevermind, Mike, I'll get it through trial and error...

    No worries

  18. #18
    Senior Member swekarl's Avatar
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    Originally posted by mike
    Inspired by Jean Beetham Smith's suggestion to wear modified socks on your ears to keep them warm, I decided to try to flip-flop the idea by wearing headwear 'down-under'.
    I donít find Jeans thread with socks, but Iím happy to inform you that I tried underwear on my head yesterday! I lost my cap and wonít buy a new one this winter. But with a 15 km ride at 5įC in front of me, I knew I needed something under the helmet to keep head and ears warm. So I took my most discrete black briefs, and voilŗ, warm and quite goodlooking (at least as long as I didnít take off the helmet).

  19. #19
    Senior Member mike's Avatar
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    Originally posted by swekarl

    Iím happy to inform you that I tried underwear on my head yesterday!
    Swekarl, YOU DA MAN!

    You are a fashion pioneer among others who may only dream to be as great.

    Keep that underwear on your head and we will keep our eyes open for you!
    Mike

  20. #20
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    oh my, what a thread. I almost hate to join in and continue the insanity. But I'm all too curious...

    I don’t find Jeans thread with socks, but I’m happy to inform you that I tried underwear on my head yesterday! I lost my cap and won’t buy a new one this winter
    You didn't mention what kind of underwear? Ladies underwear? Boxers? Briefs? But-floss? A silk lace camisole?

    Come on now.. details...
    Last edited by Walter; 07-05-09 at 05:38 AM. Reason: Removed advertising link

  21. #21
    Senior Member swekarl's Avatar
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    Fantastic that someone would ask about this seven years later... I had totally forgotten but had a good laugh rereading. Yeah, I remember now... I'm afraid I wasn't that stylish, amyflavored. Should develop the concept.

    What about you, mike, are you still using your balaklava, and where?

  22. #22
    Senior Member swekarl's Avatar
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    Just realized I replied to a spam. Sorry about that, so many things have changed since 2002...

  23. #23
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    Ahhh but at least it was a funny shameless plug that was on topic even.. just perhaps a bit too old of a topic. I hoped the laugh would be worth the link and that I wasn't bending the rules too far. Sorry.

  24. #24
    Senior Member swekarl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amyflavored View Post
    Ahhh but at least it was a funny shameless plug that was on topic even..
    That and the fact that you bothered to check back, explain and even delete the link makes it pretty harmless and funny, yes.

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