"Life is hard and then you die" kind of sums it up. The only way I've found to deal with it is to stay in the present. Am I having fun? If not, what do I do to change that? Not how do I achieve some goal. Geezer strategy, I suppose. I'm the king of De Nile, but in the back of my mind, I realize what's going on.
Last winter I decided it was time for my inner idiot to reassert himself and I started skiing again. 35 years ago I was a hotdog, so this time I took up backcountry skiing. First I hit a tree with my head. When I could sort of walk again I went back at it and because of the layoff, this time I did something horrible to my back. That was 6 months ago and I'm starting to walk without pain. I have been riding, though. I can balance better on the bike or skis than on my feet and the bike doesn't bother my back too much. Something about the position I suppose.
So I quit leading A rides and took up tandeming with my sweetie. Good tradeoff, I think. In another year I might be able to get myself back into shape for rando or A rides, but I'm not sure I want to. I'm happy doing what I can. Sweetie and I have been running in the AM before breakfast. That's nice. This morning we went to a killer spin class and neither of us came apart, so that was nice, too. After 37 years, I'm relaxing into the idea that a relationship can be a team sport.
Qualified for Medicare this month, thus fulfilling every American's dream. Safe at last.