Here's why.
I calculated the caloric intake I require (age 52, 170 lbs.) to maintain body weight without exercise: 1700 calories daily. That's not too many calories, particularly considering my proclivity for yodels and Lays Sour Cream and Onion potato chips. I'm telling you that whatever your notion of how many calories you need, it's inflated, much like your pathetic Fred asses.
Eff me. As if that even needed to be said.
I will now STFU and ride my bike.