So I know this is a really, REALLY late reply and thank you. We ended up selling our home and moving not once but twice since I posted this question. I should have followed up earlier but, obviously, didn't.
Anyway, thanks to everyone who replied and took time out of their day to give advice. I ended up buying a stock Jake the Snake, on an end of season clearance last summer. It was more than my $1000 budget, but not much more.
I'm no bike expert, but this has been a wonderful bike for me. I've found as time has gone on and I've ridden more often that I really do prefer pavement over trails. I like riding long distances on little-used roads.
I had them slap on an extra set of brake levers, and am glad I did. I really like changing up my grip as I ride (better for my back!), and having access to brakes in every grip is great.
One thing I didn't know when I did this is that my mountain bike had several gears that were quite a bit lower than the Snake. It had a "granny" gear that the new bike does not have. I've sued the bike for quite awhile now and have gotten stronger, but still I miss the ability on severe hills to gear WAY down. I'm not sure if I'll change the gears on the Snake.
Otherwise, for me, it's excellent. Thanks again for all assistance!