In our small town of 6500 in rural Oklahoma, there is a core group of about 35 road riders. Of that group, I am one of about 6 or 7 who likes to compete. This smaller group trains independently during the week. BUT, once a week we travel 30 miles to a dinner destination in the early evening after work. We all swap stories and gossip about bikes, etc. while we "wine and dine." We have an open trailer that holds twenty bikes, the others bikes are put in pickups or whatever else is available. Spouses (of both genders) who don't ride often, can start half-way and go at a slower pace and still arrive at the same time as everyone else. Most weeks we have about 20 of the regulars and a half-dozen non-riders (useful for sagmobiles) at the dinners. We go to various towns around the area.
On Sunday evenings, we have an ice cream ride of about 10-15 miles where newbies are very welcome. The fast guys get our mountain bikes out, The really fast guys let air out of their tires. Its fun and social.
The other days of the week, I try to go as fast as I can, as far as I can, for as long as I can.
Maybe some of these ideas can be modified for your group.
Tyson