"Sometimes I want to just ride my own pace, listen to an audio book with my one earbud, skip stops when I want, etc... Is that seen as a 'jerk' move to be that guy in the Randonneuring world?" (Not really, it depends on how you work the details and how you relate to other people. You can be a nice guy and still ride by yourself.)
In the local club, riding in the group usually means riding with the same people I always ride with, not meeting new people.
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"be careful this rando stuff is addictive and dan's the 'pusher'."