Stupid bicycle trick:
Winter '98, at home, off sick with pneumonia. I felt kinda okay, and it was sunny and maybe 50 outside... So I took a ride, hoping that nobody from work would see me. Out I went, figuring on maybe 25 miles. I was in serious trouble after maybe 15 minutes. OH GOD! I though I was going to die! It was all I could do to fight for breath... It was like breathing through a plastic dry-cleaning bag. I averaged maybe 9mph, and had to get off and walk the bike up even the smallest hills. At one point, I got down on my hands and knees in the grass and hacked & coughed... I thought I'd be there all afternoon. I got home, barely, and had to spend the next few days in bed.
To quote my doctor, Carl Nechtman: "What're you, ******** or something?"
Stupid driving trick:
I was 18 in 1977, and I had a Honda CL250 motorcycle. Sitting at a traffic light one hot July day, I heard this "whoomph" noise, and then the bike began idling funny. Before I could do anything, this lady in the car next to me rolled down her window and said "honey, your bike's on fire..." It was. I was, too. The fuel petcock had this habit of vibrating loose, and usually just dripped a little bit. This time, it had to be different... I jumped off and did a happy little dance, right in the street, beating my thighs and crotch with my hands. I took off my tee shirt and smothered the bike's fire, then... calmly, sorta... I tightened the petcock with the Honda Tool Kit (6" Open-End Adjustable Wrench.) I had to ride home... 12 miles... with no shirt, big holes in my khakis. Plus, my cojones had taken a few good slaps, leaving me feeling like I'd been kicked in the groin.
God, I really loved that motorcycle, tho...