I can relate to what you described in the op. This helped some with my issues, YMMV.

I cut the width down on my handlebars. Make no mistake, as long as you are in a more upright position, the wind will kick your butt. However, going from 25.5" to 22.25" increased my speed by ~.5mph. Tucking my elbows in just a little bit makes another .2, and leaning forward a bit maybe another .2-.3. I found it much easier to bend my elbows down when my arms were more nearly straight out in front of me than when they were way out wide on the handlebars. You still can move your hands near the stem and lean forward some more, if your flexible enough. I can't stay in that position very long!.

On your next ride, move your hands inward and see if that helps. A headwind sux. Gear down and spin!