1. Easy, rack, panniers, cargo net. But, since I don't drink, and always make my pizza from scratch, it's an academic question. Although I did once carry all the groceries for a sizeable feast strapped to the back of a motorcycle...
2. Most likely I carry them and walk.
3. I tell myself to wake up! I must be dreaming because we don't have tornadoes where I live.
4. Meet the person at our destination. If we wanted to go to another location from there, walk, or use a bus or a taxi. If there is a second date, maybe we would take a class on how to ride a bike together!
5. First I would stare at my colleague in disbelief for an uncomfortably long interval. Eventually I would probably recover enough composure to opine that calling one's co-workers names is incredibly unprofessional.